


Fresh Blood

by Superwholock9901



Category: Jessica Jones (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternative Perspective, Aneroxia, F/M, Forced Relationship, Hurt Jessica Jones, Jessica is under Killgrave’s control, Kilgrave smut, Loss of Virginity, Mind Control, Non-Consensual Bondage, PTSD, Past Abuse, Physical Abuse, Rape, Rope Bondage, Self conscience, Super hearing, Underage Drinking, Underage Rape/Non-con, death of major Jessica Jones character, forced pleasure, forced sexual slavery, harsh punishments, master/slave smut, physiological torture, self doubt
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-11-18
Updated: 2018-12-30
Packaged: 2019-02-03 23:35:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 21
Words: 78,180
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12758550
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Superwholock9901/pseuds/Superwholock9901
Summary: Kilgrave decides to try and forget his time with Jessica after surviving her almost killing him and goes back to his old ways.River, a 20 year old college student, catches his eye when she saves the day. Kilgrave has found a new person to show his affections too, wether River likes it or not. She has PTSD and undiagnosed anorexia, he has control issues, the ability to control her with a few words, and the desire to be loved. Will Kilgrave help her or add to her list of problems?Jessica appears throughout this fic, but it is mainly focused on River and Killgrave until later chapters.. still toying around with ideas on this. It’s basically just Kilgrave being Kilgrave. There will be rape, kinky shit, and smut so be warned.





	1. The meeting (Rivers POV)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Before this begins, River has anorexia but doesn’t know she has it. It’s not mentioned, but implied. This is very slowly built, but there will be stuff later.

I stand in line, waiting for a latte, at the best coffee shop in New York City. The shop is filled with people going about their everyday lives. Most of the tables are full of college students on their laptops or business people on the phone.

I take my phone out of my pocket and check the time. I’m going to be late for my first class if they don’t hurry. The line is usually long, but today it seems longer than usual. More and more people are discovering the quaint little shop and while it will be good for the owners, it messes up the schedule of regular costumers, such as myself.

I feel the hairs on my neck stand up and look around to find people staring at me. Fortunately for me, I’m used to getting looks and I know why: I’m big. I didn’t initially think that my outfit looked bad today, but I guess I am wrong. I shift on my feet and turn up the music I am listening to, so i don’t have to hear the people around me.

I’m wearing my favorite dark wash, blue jeans with black uggs and a shirt that shows off my shoulders, the only part of my body that I generally like. I put aside my feelings of self doubt and stand a little taller to my full height of 5’8, that always helps me look a little skinnier.

After a while of slowly progressing forward, the bag on my back starts to weigh me down. I check my phone again to find that 10 minutes had passed. I only have 30 more to get to class and the school is a 20 minute walk away. I sigh because I really want some coffee after this mornings practice.

I had to wake up at 4 am and be at the pool and ready at 5:00! I swim for my school team and am wiped from practice. I just want some energy before classes start. After waiting 5 more minutes, I finally reach the counter, knowing exactly what to order.

“Can I help you?” asks an annoyed looking woman.

“Yes, I’ll take a vanilla frappe-chino with extra whip cream and two shots of expresso,” I respond, handing her exact change. I can see why there is a line now; in addition to having more business, they are 2 bodies short.

I walk over to the waiting area and lean against the counter, waiting for my drink. I hear a loud sound and spin around as I realize it is a gun shot.

A man with a gun had entered the shop and was firing rounds, while shouting at the cashier to give him all the money. Without a thought, I jerk my hand up and tear the gun from his grasp, using my power to control metal. Then, I command the butt of the gun slam into the side of his head. It moves and hits his head, causing his body to slump too the floor. I quickly put my hand down and find most of the people in the shop staring at me again, the barista is holding my drink out in shaky hands.

I grab my drink out of his quivering grip and sprint out the door, careful to keep my coffee from spilling everywhere. I slow to a jog for a few blocks, putting some distance between me and the shop. Shit, why did I do that? My first reaction was to save them because he would have killed everyone! I hear sirens in the distance and hope that they are going to the shop to help the people. At least I saved some.

I duck into an alleyway and rest against the wall, catching my breath. I have to find another coffee shop now. Damn it!!! That place is so good! I check the time on my watch and curse loudly. Then, I start walking to class, feeling a little uneasy the whole way. The hairs on the back of my neck are standing up and it feels like I’m being watched.

I walk into class as the bell rings. Phew, I’m barely on time. I climb up to the middle row of seats and sit down, ignoring all the looks I get. The professor walks in a minute later from his office. I take out my ear buds and get my notebook out, preparing to listen and take 5 pages worth of notes, like last class. This man can talk forever.

The professor is an older man, new to the school this year, but his lectures on science are incredible. I am planning to be a Chemistry major and he taught me most of the things I know now. I take a long sip of coffee and smile, enjoying my last cup from the shop.

I am a junior this year, almost done with college. He starts lecturing about demential analysis and I start taking notes. He hits on things I already knew and new stuff that is generally interesting.

An hour flies by and he starts assigning homework. We have to do practice problems 1-25 and read a chapter of the online book he gave us a link too. Phew, not a bad day. My next class is in 3 hours so I have plenty of time to finish it. I put in my ear phones again and start working on the problems for the last 10 minutes of class. Finishing 4 by the time the bell rings, I quickly shove the papers back in my bag and leave class with all the others.

I immediately head to the courtyard which is a daily routine. It feels weird today tough, like I am again being watched. I turn around many times to see if there is anyone behind me, but there isn’t. Weird. I shrug it off and take a seat at an empty lunch table outside. I love being out side, it makes me feel better then being able to feel the metal in the walls of the school and being cramped up in a class room. My phone suddenly buzzes, making me wince at the noise. It is time to take my pills, it is already getting to loud. I pop one to tone down my super hearing and another one to speed up my metabolism. I’m still not entirely sure this weight loss pill is working, but I’ll give it another week.

I start working after that, trying to finish all my homework before my next class. A light tap on my shoulder makes me flinch back and look up. He is gorgeous!!! I am careful not to let it show on my face. He is wearing a purple suit, weird.. and motions for me to take out my ear buds. He has thick side burns, a 5 o’clock shadow, neatly combed over brown hair, and rich deep brown eyes. He looks to old to be in school, but I guess I can’t judge since I’m too young.

“What?” I snap, taking out one of my ear buds. It isn’t really necessary because of my super hearing, but I feel like being polite.

“May I sit with you?” He asks in a hot British accent. His voice sounds weird though, like he is used to being in charge. It wasn’t phrased as a question, but more of a statement. I quickly look around for a group of boys dressed in fancy suits snickering, but don’t see any. This has to be a dare... Why not enjoy it?

“Sure,” I say. He moves to sit next to me. “Wow! Other side buddy!” I exclaim. His features waver for a second, like he is trying to make a decision, before he sits on the other side.

“What’s your name?” He asks, leaning his head on his folded hands under his chin.

“Um... Josephine. Yours?” I ask, trying to be polite. It’s been a while since I’ve had a normal conversation with a guy.

“Killgrave,” he says, studying me closely.

“Killgrave? What was corpse murder already taken?” I snort. If this guy wants to ask me out on a dare, he’s not doing a very good job. What kind of a name is Kilgrave?

“Be honest, is that your real name?” He asks.

_Be honest._

“No,” I say. What? Why did I say that? That isn’t my real name, but I don’t want him to know that!

“Tell me your real name,” he commands.

“River,” I respond immediately. What happened? I didn’t want to tell him my name, but I did. I haven’t told anyone my real name since the beginning of high school before my powers started. I shiver at the memory of my name. My father... my name leaving his lips like a curse... No! I stand up and start to packing my bag. I’m not staying with him. That was to weird. “If you’ll excuse me, I have to-“

“Stop, sit down,” he says calmly, interrupting me. My bag drops to the ground and my ass goes to the seat like a magnet. What is happening?!

“Stop doing that! How are you controlling me?” I ask, trying to get up. My body is doing everything he told tells it, like he is in control of me.

“Wow, you figured it out quickly! I have a unique power, just like you,” he says, sending chills down my spine. I have to leave. How can he possibly know about my powers? “I saw you this morning in the coffee shop and followed you here,” he says, answering my unasked question. Can he read minds to? I feel a swell of panic over take me.

“What do you want?” I ask, trying to get up. I can’t though, like my ass is glued to the seat. Can he read my mind?

“I haven’t decided yet, now relax, answer my questions truthfully, and don’t ask any more questions,” he commands. Just like that my mouth is glued shut and my body sags from its usual uptight position. What is happening?! Someone help me!

“How old are you love?” He asks. I have to answer back, it feels like I am waiting for his questions so I can talk again. Ick I hate how he called me ‘Love’, like we are a couple.

“20 and don’t call me that!” I say, it feels like it is forced out of me. My head is swirling in a foggy world now, my thoughts are being held back by an invisible wall.

“Good, now why did you stop that gunman in the shop today?” he asks, staring me down with gorgeous and now dangerous dark eyes.

“Because it was the right thing to do,” I respond, trying to get used to the feeling of words being forced out of me.

“Explain,” he states.

“He was killing innocent people! I stopped him from killing more. It’s what any civilized person would have done. If I can prevent something bad from happening by using my powers, then it’s worth it,” I say. That is more then I meant to say.

“Well, how..” he pauses and blows a puff of air from his cheeks. “Noble. You’ve peaked my interest. You would love to continue this conversation at dinner tonight,” he states.

“I would love to continue this conversation at dinner tonight,” I echo. What is happening? I don’t want to go to dinner with this creep. But,

_I want to continue the conversation_

Weird.

“Good! You like Italian, meet me at that Italian place down the road... say at 5. You will not remember me until 3:30 when you will get dressed in something nice, put on make up, and come to dinner. Don’t be late,” he says, standing and starting to walk away.

“Oh and River! It was a pleasure to meet you,” he says, turning around. Who is he? What just happened? Why are my papers in my book bag and what happened to my ear buds? I put them back in and continue working on homework. The bell rings shortly after. Wow, that went by really quick! I get up and walk to my next class, Computer Science.

Something is in the back of my head during the entire class, like a dream you can’t quite remember but you know you had. I am on my laptop, starting my big program assignment with my music blaring, although it dosen’t really help in this class. Everyone is so loud all the time! It’s so annoying.

Class ends at 2:15 like usual, I only have 2 more hours until swim practice and a bunch of homework to finish. I am surprised that I didn’t finish my Chemistry homework, I am usually more productive. I walk to my dorm and sprawl myself across my bed, loving that I am lucky enough to have my own room. I don’t know how, but I ended up not having a room mate. I am glad because my freshman and sophomore room mates were terrible.

Something happens as the clock strikes 3:30. I just finished changing into my workout cloths when I remember the conversation I had. That weird guy is making me have dinner with him! My mind suddenly tells me to wear a nice outfit. That is my only focus.

_Wear something nice and put on make up._

I have to, I need to. I change into a nice black dress and put a cream colored cardigan over it. Then, I straighten my hair and put make up on, not using to much. I never use make up, I have no one to impress. No one likes me. It’s 4:15 now, I feel like I need to do something else.

_Don’t be late... Go to the Italian place down the road._

I put on a nice pair of black flats and leave my dorm, locking the door and putting the key in my purse. It is 4:30 when I reach campus and 4:50 when I finally get to the restaurant. It is a 2 mile walk, but I don’t mind, I am used to walking a lot. Once I am in the restaurant, I look around, until I spot him. A wide grin spreads over his face when he sees me. He walks over from the table, obviously coming to greet me. He is wearing a different purple suit but it looks nicer then the other one. He is so skinny! I can crush him if I tackle him.

“You look lovely darling!! Come sit with me,” he says, grabbing my hand. I follow him to the table, my mind foggy again. He pulles out a chair for me and I sit down. He pushes me forward once I am seated. He has manners, I’m a little shocked because he is making me come to dinner with him. I am scared though. If he can really command me to do whatever he wants, then that will not be good for anyone. The restaurant is loud too, setting me even more on edge. I can hear everything. I curse myself for not bringing ear buds. Why did he make me come here? I try to ask, but find I can’t get the words out.

“What is it love?” He asks, almost like he cares.

_Answer his questions truthfully._

“It’s loud,” I respond. I didn’t want to say that.  

“So it is. Everyone quiet!” He yells. The restaurant goes silent, you could probably hear a pin drop. I look around in disbelief. He has that much power? “Smile darling,” he commands. I feel my lips curve into a smile. This is not good. “Now, tell me about yourself,” he says, leaning in.

“My name is River, which you already know,” I start “My favorite color is turquoise, I have a peanut and tree nut allergy, I love to read fantasy novels and watch Sifi tv shows, I don’t have many friends, I like to swim, I’m planning on majoring in Chemistry, I’m 5’8...”

“Stop, that’s enough. Any family?” He continues. No! Don’t tell him! I grit my teeth, trying to force myself to shut up.

“I have a sister,” I blurt, after hesitating for a while, trying to fight his compulsion.

“Stop fighting it, there’s always a sister isn’t there?” He mumbles, looking annoyed.

“Not always,” I answer. He looks more annoyed for a second until amusement takes over his features. He must remember that I have to answer all of his questions honestly.

“Birthday?” He asks.

“January 9,” I reply.

“What do your parents do?” He asks. No not this, anything but parents.

“They’re not around anymore. My mother died in child birth and I’ve been in foster care since,” I say, fighting a panic attack and not telling him about my foster parents.

“Good! Finally! We’ll take an order of Bucatini all’Amatriciana for the table and a bottle of your finest red wine,” he tells the waiter. So I don’t get to order? Talk about controlling.

“They have the best Bucatini all’Amatriciana here, you’ll love it,” he says, his lips curving into a child like smile.

“I’ll love it,” I agree. My head is foggy again, I can’t think straight. The words were forced out of my mouth.

“How did you get into collage?” He asks, continuing the interrogation.

“I got a scholarship for academics and swimming as a junior and took it,” I reply.

“Why did you leave so early?” He questions, taking the bottle of wine from the waiter and filling my glass. I am not old enough to drink yet. I can’t...

_Suddenly, I am back in the room with father. I am curled up on the floor recovering from my beating while he is fucking my mom on the couch. I locked my sister in her room before he came home, she is safe._

 

_“Bitch!” He snaps, beckoning me over. No, no more!_

 

_“Please don’t,” I beg, my skin is burning where he hit me with the belt and put out his cigarette._

 

“River! Snap out of it!” Suddenly I am back at dinner with Kilgrave. I am not with Father anymore. My chest is heaving, my breaths coming in shallow pants and my smile is long gone. I haven’t had an attack in 2 months! I was doing so good! He made this happen. I fight to get up, but I can’t. Why is he doing this?

“Please don’t make me tell you, I can’t,” I shakily explain. My therapist doesn’t even know the extent of it, no one ever will.

“Why not? I want to know,” he says, sounding irritated.

”I have PTSD about it! Just ask anything else,” I plead. I hate how weak I sound, just like I sounded for all those years with father. Just leave me alone. 

“You’ll have to tell me one day, I want to know everything about you,” he states. 

“Okay,” I agree.

_I’ll have to tell him one day._

The waiter couldn’t have arrived at a better time, bringing us a pasta dish he had ordered. To bad I don’t want to eat. Kilgrave scoops some on my plate anyways, then puts some on his own.

“I propose a toast, to this new companionship,” he says, lifting his glass. I lift mine and they clank together. He takes a long sip while I take a small one, loving the warm liquid run down my throat. I set my glass down and unwrap my silverware, placing the napkin over my lap, even though I have no intention of eating.

“You have exquisite table manners River, where did you learn them? Go ahead and eat,” He says, taking a large bite of his portion which is smaller then mine.

“A Cotillion program I went to a couple years ago,” I answer, taking a small bite. It’s okay, but I still love it! His words come back in my head.

_You’ll love it_

Do I really love it, or do I love it because he told me to? I can’t do this.

The rest of dinner is quite and I end up only taking a few bites of pasta, with some prompting from him. No one in the restaurant makes a sound, just like he commanded. It is scary quite. He looks like he is trying to decide something and that scares me more than anything. He can make me do anything!

“You want to come home with me,” he states.

“I want to come home with you,” I echo. _I want to_ , but I know what is happening. He is making me think that I want to, even though I don’t. I grit my teeth.

He gets up and holds out his hand, “come on,” he commands. I take his hand and he leads me out of the restaurant and into his car. “Tell me your address,”

“I live in dorm 32 on 133 Corbin Lane,” I answer.

“Good girl, now you’re starting to feel tired,” he cooes.

“Yea,” I say, suddenly feeling sleepy. Stop controlling me! 

“Rest your head on my leg, then go to sleep,” he commands. This is so weird. Yet, my body immediately starts to follow his orders. Arranging its self so that I am in the position he commanded, I start to feel incresingly tired. Why does he want me to sleep? As soon as my head settles comfortably on his leg, I fall asleep.


	2. I am a Gentleman (Killgraves POV)

I stroke along her tan, muscled shoulder. What a woman! Not even a woman, she is still a girl, under 21 years old. I knew that she would be mine when I walked by the coffee shop and saw what happened inside. She is a fighter. But, what happened with her family? She goes tense every time I try to bring up her parents. I know that it must be bad, maybe it’s like what happened to Jessica’s parents. I immediately tried to forget Jessica, she tried to kill me... Twice.

The driver pulls into the university entry and pulls up to a hideous looking building. 

“Go to her dorm and get her necessities,” I command, grabbing her purse and throwing the driver her keys. I honestly don’t know why I told her to sleep so soon. She can’t see where I live, so if she escapes she won’t know how to get back to the city. I brush a piece of dirty blond hair out of her face. Her skin is tan, but it looks shallow. She isn’t properly fed, the poor girl is stick thin. I will fix that. Basing things off of how she dresses, she is also self-conscience. I’ll have to fix that too.

She’s smart unlike most of the girls I’ve kept. She caught onto my powers very quickly. That’s rare with how I originally used them on her. I sensed a strong connection when we first talked. Maybe it was because we both have powers, or maybe it’s something better. 

The driver returns with a small bag and hands it back to me. I look over the contents to discover it contains her toothbrush, hairbrush, shampoo, conditioner, and two bottles of pills. I grab the pill bottles, reading over the labels. One is an appetite suppressant and the other has no label. Is she an addict? It would make since with her slightly sunken in eyes. I decide that she definitely doesn’t need appetite suppressants, so I roll down the window and throw the bottle out. I know now that she really needs me to take care of her. 

A thought suddenly hits me. What powers does she have? How could I not have asked what powers she has? I’ll have to do that first thing tomorrow. I’m off of my game. That was the first date I’ve had in a while because I usually just take the girls home with me. They’re all so stupid, but not River. She’s special, just like me. 

I sigh, it is an hour ride to my house, maybe I should move back into the city. I immediately put the thought aside, Jessica will find me easily there. I have to stay careful. I have to stay in the shadows. At least now I have a new puppet to play with. 

She suddenly starts whimpering in her sleep, like she is having a nightmare.

“Relax, have good dreams,” I tell her. Her body relaxes and her pathetic whimpering stops. She has strong walls built up, but something major happened in her past... I will have to pry on it. I lean back and get comfortable against the cool seat. This is a nice car, there is plenty of room for me to stretch my legs.

I start running a hand through her smooth hair. Is she really worth all the trouble? She seems so.... scared and tense all the time. There is a connection though, I can feel it and I know she can too. There’s something that bonds us together, even though I can’t tell what it is. It’s different from what I felt for Jessica, but very similar. Is this what true love is like? Jessica said I don’t know how to love, but I do know how to care for someone and she needs to be cared for. 

I look up when the car finally comes to a stop. Wow, that took forever! I open the door, gently lie her head on the seat, and climb out. Then, I pick her up bridal style and take her out of the car. She is light, way lighter than Jessica. I can easily carry her with my lanky frame. 

I take her up to my bedroom and lay her on the bed, taking off her shoes and throwing them on the floor. I hesitate as I start to take off the dress. It feels wrong without her being awake. After all, I am a gentleman, not a monster as Jessica calls me.

“Celine!” I yell down the hall. A heavy mid-aged women comes running into the room, her large breasts bouncing. I hold back a grin.

“Yes sir,” she says, standing tall. She was the owner of this house before I moved in, now she takes care of things around the house. 

“You will change River into this outfit without waking her, then leave the room,” I command, handing her an outfit. Her eyes turn glassy and like all the others, she immediately starts to obey. I step out of the room, careful not to peak. I’ll have to wait. She’s like a present I can’t open until later. 

Celine steps out of the room and continues on with the the other tasks I gave her to do earlier. I walk back in and look over River. She is wearing a purple silk spaghetti strap tank top and navy blue booty shorts. She has a nice body, but I’ll really have to make her eat more. I noticed that she didn’t eat a lot at dinner and she made a small show of sipping at the wine. I’ll make sure she eats a big breakfast.

The clothes she is wearing are brand new, just bought after our conversation this morning. They are in Jessica’s size and are a little to big on her. We’ll have to go shopping tomorrow. I move her body under the covers and change for bed. Then, sliding in next to her, I wrap my arm around her stomach. She smells good, her natural scent is delicious. I fall asleep hugging her.


	3. Escape (Rivers POV)

I am warm. I am happy. Then, I realize there is an arm wrapped around my stomach. Father usually leaves me alone in the morning! I jerk away from him, falling off the bed onto the floor with a loud thud. I groan as I push myself into a sitting position, now fully awake. What! This isn’t my house or my dorm. Its an expensive looking bedroom with a soft carpet floor. I look at the sheets I had cocooned around me to find that they are silk. Silk sheets! The events from last night come back through my head. I went home with Kilgrave! I wanted to come home with him! I stand up and see that he is casting a small glare towards me. I must of woken him up.

“S-Sorry,” I stutter, suddenly realizing I am in different clothes. Why am I apologizing? The fact that he must of changed me almost makes me throw up. That is weird! Oh my gosh, he actually changed my clothing, saw me naked. “Did you change me?” I ask, purposely trying to sound disgusted.

“No! I had one of my slaves do it. I’m not rude!” He scoffes, getting out of bed. I gasp. He is only wearing black silk boxer briefs and has abbs! He is totally hot, why does he like someone like me? Someone’s who’s fat?

“Enjoying the view?” He asks standing taller. I’ve never seen anyone so proud of their half nudity, except father. It’s like he doesn’t even care. Wait, why am I not answering? Has his commands worn off? What is the time limit? How does he do it? 

“Tell me what your thinking love, and tell the truth now,” he says, walking around the bed and caressing my cheek. I take a step back to be met with a cool wall. So much for that, I’m cornered.

“I’m wondering why you choose to take me when you could take anyone else and how you are able to get me to do what you want,” I respond, flinching away.

“I like you, that’s why I choose to let you live with me,” he says, stepping back out of my personal space. He moves toward a large dresser and starts to put on an ironed button up shirt. “Now, go clean up and come down for breakfast once your done. Wear the outfit on the bed,” he says, steering me towards the bathroom and locking me in. 

I decide the best way to clean up is to shower, so I start the water and undress. His “slave”, I hate that word, had dressed me in a purple silk tank top and short navy shorts, showing off my massive thighs. Why does he like me?

The water feels amazing though and helps clear my mind. I quickly clean and rinse my hair, drying off afterwards. Then, I walk out of the bathroom with only the towel covering my body. My heart is racing. I haven’t been this exposed since... No stop there! I can’t have an attack now.

I find an outfit on the bed just like he said I would. It is a dark purple dress that I’m sure anyone but me would look good in. There is also a nice set of black lace underwear and a bra. I slide on the bra and panties finding that they fit me nicely. That’s weird. How can he possibly know my sizing? It is even weirder when I try on the dress, which also fits. It isn’t to tight or to lose, but perfect.

_Go down for breakfast._

Stupid mind control. How am I supposed to find the dinning room? He said down, so I’m guessing there are stairs somewhere. I search the top floor until I find a grand stair case. He is rich! Or he just compelled people to let him live here. He could make anyone do anything. It’s scary. I find the dinning room easily by following the smell of food. He is reading over the paper, tapping his foot impatiently. The man who is used to getting everything is waiting for me. Why? I sit down in the opposite chair. 

“You look stunning darling,” He chimes, looking up from the paper and folding it down. He’s smiling like a child at Christmas, making me worry. Why does he call me darling? Maybe it’s a British thing. 

“Thanks,” I reply, shifting so I’m sitting on the edge of my seat. He smiles at me, generally smiles.

“You know, many of my companions aren’t like you. They never realize what I do for them, they never thank me without me suggesting it. You’re the first,” he says, scooping a lot of food on my plate. There is scrambled eggs and sausage. I have no desire to eat. No one will ever love me if I’m fat. 

Wait, he actually kidnapped me. Will anyone know that I am gone? My swim coach will notice after a while. No one else though, besides my sister. Oh my gosh! There’s been others to, he said companions. He’s taken other women, where are they? Did he kill them?

“What do you want with me?” I ask, taking a slow bite of food, it tastes like sand in my mouth and I put down my fork. 

“I want to make you happy. You deserve to be happy because you’re gifted like me. Now eat,” he says, taking a sip of coffee.

“I deserve to be happy,” I mindlessly repeat. Do I really? I deserve to live in the shadows and never hurt anyone else again, never get hurt again. I should get to be happy though. I want to eat now.

“Sorry, I slip up sometimes. You seem like you’re civilized enough to make decisions for yourself. The last person I let do that locked me in a cell and shocked me, will you do that?” He asks, sounding playful. Of course I can make my own decisions, I’ve been doing it since I was old enough to walk.

“Even though I don’t approve of the kidnapping, I won’t do that,” I answer honestly. I’ll have the police do it.

“Kidnapping?! You want to live with me, you’re happy to be able to live in my home,” he says, sounding offended.

“I want to live with you, I’m happy to live in your home,” I repeat. No I am not! I know I’m not!

“Good, now to cover some ground rules. You will not try to escape, you will not fight my commands when I give them to you, you will not hurt me or use your powers to hurt me, you will not use your powers at all for that matter, you will be happy today, and answer anything I ask you truthfully,” he says. All of the fight drains my body, I can’t leave him. I feel myself lift up from being sad to being happy. 

“Fine,” I respond cooly, shrugging like it was nothing. I can’t escape. I don’t want to, but I know that I should want to. 

“What can you do with your abilities?” He asks, eating a bite of his own food. 

“I have really good hearing and can control metal,” I automatically reply. I don’t want to tell him everything about myself. 

“That’s fascinating. I will ask you more about it later. Now, lets go shopping,” he says, holding his hand out. I stand up and ignore his outstretched hand. He looks slightly hurt, but doesn’t command me to hold it. 

I put on my shoes from last night, not being able to find my other clothes, which forces me to wear this horrible dress or go naked. Before we leave the house, he ties a blindfold around my head so I can’t see anything and instructs me not to remove it. Why is he being so secretive?

He leads me outside and into a car without to much trouble. I listen to signs of where we are and realize that I can’t really hear anything. 

_I will not use my powers at all_

He’s preventing me from using my super hearing and metal controlling ability. It’s not fair. We drive for a while until he finally says I can take off the blindfold. I immediately take it off and look around. We are driving on a little country road, farm land visible around us.

“There’s about a half hour drive left to the city darling, get comfortable,” he says. Why does he call me darling? I shift in the seat, trying to get comfortable. “Tell me how your super hearing works,” he continues.

“When I focus I can hear everything for about a mile radius around where I am,” I’m forced to reply, not wanting to share information on how my powers work.

“Why do you wear ear phones then?” He asks, looking curious.

“To block out everything. It’s to much to handle in New York City when you can literally hear everything,” I snort in reply.

“That’s fascinating, so you can go a mile away and still be able to hear me. We’ll have to test that sometime,” he says eerily. No! I hate listening for someone that far away. What does he mean sometime? How long will I have to stay with him? He can make me stay with him the rest of my life! The thought hits me like a title wave, pushing me into the depths of the ocean. He can keep me with him as long as he wants to! There is nothing I can do to stop him.

“Smile Love, you’ll have fun today,” he says, putting his arm around me.

“I’ll have fun today,” I echo, trying to get away. Please get your arm off of me!” 

“Oh come on River! You like it when I touch you,” he says, keeping his arm over my shoulders. No I hate this! I hate my name coming off of his lips, I hate him touching me, and I hate frikin shopping!

“I.... I.... I like it when you touch me,” I stammer, trying to resist.

“I told you already to not fight my commands!” He says, sounding annoyed. I have to resist. No one has the right to touch me. I know I don’t want to, but I do want to listen and obey him.

“What about metal? How does that work?” He asks, sounding calm again. It scares me how easily his emotions shift. How can he be so bipolar? 

“I create a magnetic field and command the metal inside it. I can feel metal to, like where it is. It’s kind of like how you command me, except with metal,” I say, not resisting. I need him to understand that if he didn’t have the ability to control me then he would have a major problem. /p>

“Good, now once we get into the city you will be with me at all times. You will not ask any questions and do everything I tell you,” he states.

“You know that’s not fair right? This whole thing is so screwed up! You can’t just order me around and dress me up like I’m your Barbie doll. I -“

“Just be quiet and sit still,” He interrupts. My mouth is suddenly forced close, I can’t talk. I wince as I start hearing the loud sounds of New York. How can I still use my powers? I guess I am unable to turn it off. I dull down my hearing as much as I can, I will have to take my pill soon. Oh no my pill! I don’t have it with me! I have to tell him. I can’t open my mouth, I can’t tell him. I need it! The pain from last time I forgot to take it was unbearable. What am I going to do? I can’t move to gesture to him, or tell him. Please ask me something!!! The rest of the ride is terrible. My ears are starting to really hurt. I am staring him down the whole time too. Trying to plead with my eyes. He either doesn’t notice or acts like he doesn’t notice. I’m pretty sure anyone would notice the stare I’m giving him tough.

“Stop up here,” he suddenly says. The driver pulls into the next parking spot and finally turns off the ignition. “Wait for us here, come along River,” he says getting out of the car and offering his hand. I scoot over on the seat and grab his hand,

_I like it when he touches me._

Wow, this is so weird. It’s clashing with how I really feel! I know I don’t want him to touch me, but I like it. As soon as I get out of the car I wince as all the sounds of New York hit me. I majorly try to tone down my hearing, struggling without the pills to help. I should have another hour before my next dose, but it wears off a little before. I need my ear phones!! Please ask me something...anything!

“We’re going in here first, you need some new cloths,” he says, sounding amused. He leads me into Kirna Zabetes. Wow, this place is expensive. He browses through cloths and hands me every single one he likes. By the end I am holding like 1/5 of the cloths in the store and am really happy. My ears hurt though and it is steadily getting worse.

_I will be happy today_

“Go try them on and show me each one,” he commands. My ears hurt so badly. I rush into the changing room and start to change. I can hear the air conditioning enter the room and the quiet conversations between customers and workers.

“It’s a good look but I would go with something more like-“

“Oh my gosh! This dress is so awesome!”

There are people walking by the store too. I can hear the heavy breath of a runner and music through his ear buds. One guy is running around trying to buy a present for his kids birthday. Another is sitting on a bench outside the shop waiting for his dealer to come. He keeps mumbling to himself. I sigh when I realize that I finished changing. It doesn’t look half as bad as the dress I was in before, so I am happy. It is a purple ruffled dress that makes me look really good. I am happy either because he told me to be or I really was, I can’t tell.

I shyly walk out, trying to ignore how much my ears hurt.

“Very nice! Give me a spin,” he says, his face lighting up. He looks happy! I hate his arrogance, how he looks right at me but still doesn’t see me. I spin around, letting the dress spin out. “That will do nicely! Now, next,” he says. Does he enjoy this? What a creep! How am I going to escape this?

I model about 20 more outfits after that. Most of them are purple dresses, but there are some variety’s of blues and blacks. My head feels like it is going to explode and my ears are about to fall off by the end. He surprisingly pays for 11 dresses he picked out and we walk outside.

Noise hits me like a title wave. There are cars honking, engines running, music blaring, people talking, sirens ringing, heavy footsteps, hearts racing, people yelling, shop bells ringing, people breathing. I drop to my knees with my hands over my ears. I do the only thing I can, scream. I glance up with pleading eyes at Killgrave, but he looks like he is about to kill me. I curl up on the side walk, to preoccupied with everything to care. He is yelling but it is blending in with all the noise around me. He will be the last thing I focus on. People are gathering around us, asking if I am okay. Killgrave squats over me,

“You can only hear me,” he yells, after prying one of my hands away from my ears. Suddenly everything is silent.

_I can only hear him._

His heart beat and breathing pattern are a little fast. Relief washes over me, it doesn’t hurt anymore. I uncover my ears and look into his eyes. He seems worried, does he actually care about me? I open my mouth, but still can’t say anything. This is amazing. Since I got my powers, I could hear everything/everyone around me, now it is just him. All of my power channeled towards him.

“You can talk now,” he says, looking slightly annoyed and getting up. Wow his voice sounds so different when I am actually listening. It is still definitely British, but is laced with something else sinister. I scramble up to my feet and hug him. It is genuine, one of the only hugs I’ve given anyone since I escaped. He seems shocked at first, slightly stepping back, but soon reciprocates the gesture.

“Thank you,” I whisper in his ear. I don’t cling to him even though I want to and end the hug pretty quick. I just had a glimpse of a shred of kindness from him, maybe he really does care about me. Maybe I can be happy with him.

“Everyone besides River continue on your way and forget what you saw here. Delete any pictures or videos you may have taken on your phone,” he commands. Everyone starts walking away, like it never happened.

“Why didn’t you tell me your ears hurt?” He asks.

“Because you ordered me to shut-up! I need my medicine to help tone it down, please let me take it,” I say quickly, trying to get everything out before I couldn’t talk again.

“You won’t need it with me darling, I’ll take care of you,” he cooed.

_He will take care of me._

”You’ll take care of me,” I repeat, it sounds more like a question. My mind is turning foggy again. It is hard to think straight. I can’t resist it. I know this is wrong, but I know that he will take care of me. Everything will be okay. My body relaxes and my shoulders drop down.

“Wow, if I’d known that was all it would take to get you to lighten up I would have told you hours ago,” he says, putting his arm over my shoulders and pulling me into his chest.

_I like it when he touches me_

I feel my heart skip a beat, I like this. The rest of the day consists of going to various shops and trying on clothing. I am bored out of my mind, but I am also happy and having fun trying on the expensive cloths. Probably because he ordered me to be. I’ve never been one who likes to dress up. He also made me get my hair cut a little, just getting the dead ends trimmed off. All and all, it wasn’t a bad day. 

“Come on, you need to eat, you like eating,” he says, breaking me from my chain of thought. Right, we’re at dinner now.

“I like eating,” I say. I know I don’t, I will gain to much weight. I start eating the salad he ordered me with new vigor.

_I like eating._

“Tell me why you don’t you feed yourself,” He says. 

“Because I’ll gain weight,” I reply. Duh. 

“Is that what you really think about yourself, that you’re fat?” He asks, leaning forward and looking angry.

“Yes and ugly,” I reply. It is true. No one will ever love me if I am fat. 

“Listen to me River, you are beautiful and you are not fat,” he says, looking directly into my eyes.

”Yea,” I reply blankly, suddenly feeling changed. He thinks I’m pretty.

“Say it,” Kilgrave says, not breaking eye contact. 

“I am beautiful and I am not fat,” I repeat. I instantly feel different. I am not self-conscience any more, I sit a little straighter with my shoulders back instead of hunched in. It feels like I am a different person. I continue eating.

“There we are, why did you think you were fat?” He asks, taking a sushi roll and shoving it in his mouth. We are in a sushi restaurant on the outskirts of the city, I can still only hear him so the people around us don’t bother me.

“Because it’s true. Father told me-“ I stop myself. 

”Told you what?” He asks, looking concerned. <\p>

”He told me that no one will ever love me if I’m fat,” I choke out. He looks at me with sympathy written all over his face. 

“That’s not true. I think that I love you and that your body is beautiful,” he says, sounding sincere. No one has ever told me that before. Why does the first man to tell me that have to be a complete creep. “What do you usually have for meals?” He continues. 

”I don’t know. Maybe a couple protein bars. I shouldn’t have eaten anything because I didn’t work out today,” I respond. I hate how he makes me tell the truth, how words force themselves out of my mouth like vomit. He’s going to have to try harder if he wants anything on my past. 

“So on days you don’t work out you don’t eat anything?” He confirms. 

“I drink coffee but, Yes...” I reply. Why is he angry? 

“That won’t do at all, pick up your chop sticks,” he quietly commands. I pick them up. “Eat the rest of the sushi on the plate,” he says, pinching the bridge of his nose. “You need to eat. I’m sure that you’re under weight. I’m doing this for you, so you can be healthy,” he continues.

I pick up the first sushi roll. There are 3 different orders of rolls left on the plate. I have to eat 32 rolls by myself! My body starts to move and I start eating sushi rolls like there is no tomorrow. It feel like that’s all I can do. I don’t want to and I know logically I won’t be able to eat 32 rolls without throwing up. He is going to make me sick! I vaguely realize that the taste of the rolls change, I must of moved on to the second one. My stomach is hurting by the time I get to the third. I look up at him with pleading eyes, but he either doesn’t notice or doesn’t care. By the time I finish the third one I feel like I am going to burst. My stomach is killing me and it feels heavy.

“You will not throw up,” he says, probably noting my discomfort. How does he know me that well already?

“I will not throw up,” I repeat, trying desperately to keep down all of the food. He shouldn’t of made me eat that much.

“You will never starve yourself again,” he says, taking a slow sip of tea, his voice deeper then usual. He is...angry.

“I will never starve myself again,” I echo. How long will his words last? Will I be under his influence forever? 

“Good girl, now tell me about your parents, River,” he says. I hate how he says good girl, like I am a dog. No I can’t tell him about my parents.

“What about them?” I snap back. I hate him so much. My stomach is in knots. 

“Names and occupations,” he states, looking a little startled at my outburst.

“I don’t know who my real parents are, but my foster parent’s names are Jack and Taylor Lawfton. Psychologist and waitress,” I say, giving as brief of answers as possible. I know how it feels to say words without my consent, now I can somewhat control them.

“Why don’t you like talking about them?” He pushes.

“Because they weren’t exactly great parents,” I reply, starting to feel panicked. Not again! If he makes me have another attack I will be furious. Just think of something else. Music, swimming, kidnapping. Think of something else.

“Either were mine,” he says quietly. What were his parents like? I shudder, they must be pretty bad if they raised him to be like this. “Let’s go home, you want to come home with me,” he states, holding out his hand.

“I want to come home with you,” I agree, taking his hand.

_I like it when he touches me._

He pulls out his phone and starts talking. It is weird, I can’t hear the person on the other side like usual. My stomach hurts so much,

_I can’t throw up._

As we step outside his car pulls up, perfectly timed like in the movies. I let my smile drop to a smirk. He is so cheesy. I step into the car with him and allow him to put the blindfold over my eyes. We drive in silence for a few minutes.

 Suddenly, I can feel the metal in the car, around his wrist, the coins in his wallet. I can use my powers again. What time did he tell me I couldn’t? It was at breakfast, maybe 10ish hours ago or so... I can use my powers against him! I command the watch around his wrist to fly up and hit him in the head as hard as I can. I hear him slump down in the seat, his heart beat telling me that he’s unconscious. I take off my blindfold and look around. The driver suddenly stops the car and also looks around like he is confused.

“Run!” I yell. I quickly hop out of the car and start running in the opposite direction we were driving in. We were only in the car for a few minutes, so I can still see the lights of New York. My stomach protestes at the motion of running, but I still can’t throw up. I am still under his influence. Then, I realize I still can’t hear anything but him. His heart beat and breathing echo in my ears, he is still out. His influence from this morning is gone, I want to escape. I don’t stop running until I reach the outskirts of the city. I will have to find a motel. Shit, I don’t have any money! I have to go back to my dorm. No, he knows my address! I groan, where can I go? It is already getting chilly out.

_I want to go home with Kilgrave_

I shake my head, I know I don’t want to go back with him. But.. maybe I should go back. No! I start walking towards my school, it will take me a while to get there. It is a busy night though, people crowd the streets, I can blend in. I still can’t hear them, it is mute. I can’t hear anything right now, it is silent. It takes me about 2 hours to get onto my school campus, by the time I get there it is really cold. He didn’t give me any other cloths to wear so I am stuck in the skimpy topped dress. I jerk the doors to the pool, but find them locked. I unlock them from my side using my powers and slip in, locking it back up. It is refreshingly warm in here, making me smile. I love the smell of chlorine.

I hide under the bleachers after grabbing and changing onto cloths from my locker. This reminds me of when I had to hide in my old community pool when things got bad at the house. When father would beat me and I couldn’t go to school because the markings were too bad. I bring my knees into my chest and hold back a sob. I thought I escaped everything, but now this pcyco is probably going to come after me. I have the worst luck, why can’t something good happen to me? It seems like I just have an endless stream of bad luck. I change my mind as I start to feel tired, maybe I do have some good luck after all. I easily fall asleep, the exhaustion from the day overtaking me.


	4. Search and find (Killgraves POV)

Light fills the darkness behind my eye lids. I groan and sit up, touching my temple lightly and taking my hand away to find blood. She actually hurt me, the little bitch. I will have to find a way to make her willingly stay with me and not use her powers. I guess it is back to the 10 hour command rule too, it usually works for 24. What’s different about her?

I find that I am alone in the car, River and the driver are long gone. Bloody Hell, I wish I knew how to drive. I get out of the car and wince as the world swirles around me. I will have to get the wound checked by a professional. Just then, a car pulles around the curb. I step where it will be in a minute and hold my hand out. The car immediately comes to a skidding halt, almost hitting me. The driver rolls down the window.

“Move it you little fu-“

“Stop, let me in,” I command. The guy unlocks the car and I slip in the back seat. “Take me to 133 Corbin Lane. Don’t stop for anything,” I command. The driver immediately puts the address in his GPS, then turns the car around and starts driving towards the city. I sit back and sigh, maybe I can find her sister. She said her parents were dead, so theres no use there.

She must like me. She just ran away because she can’t face her true feelings for me. She’s barely gotten to know me either. She must feel our connection. I smile, she will be so much fun. I know she won’t be at her dorm, but I have to start somewhere. She isn’t like the others that have stayed with me. She resists my commands, but still does as I tell her to. She’s really smart too. It almost feels wrong to make her regurgitate my words back. Of course I will still have to command her for a while, but I really want to get her off my control and have her stay willingly.

We arrive at her dorm about an hour later. As expected, she isn’t there. Where could she have gone? Wait, she has super hearing! She can hear me! I check my watch and sigh, my command would be gone by now. But that means her hearing will be back at full strength, she’ll be in pain. Where would she go that’s quiet? She said it can reach a mile out and she will most likely try to find transport out of the city. Many glistening metals on the wall of her dorm catch my eye, she is a good swimmer! Wait, the pool! Of course she would go there, it’s warm and familiar to her. I leave her dorm and find a campus map on the lowest level of the building. Then, I walk over to the aquatic center.

The door opens easily and I go in. I wrinkle my nose, I hate the smell of chlorine. There is a single cleaner, cleaning the windows.

“Tell me, have you seen a skinny dirty blond woman in a purple dress around here?” I question.

“Yep, had to kick her out this morning. She was sleeping under the bleachers, wasn’t wearing a dress though,” he responds, still cleaning.

“How long who was that?” I ask. Where could she have found clothes to change into? 

“2 hours ago or so,” he answers. I sigh again, that is a long head start. I’ll just have to find her the hard way.

I visit the schools security room next, where all the video footage from the cameras are. She changed from the dress into a gray hoodie and sweat pants now, where on earth did she get new cloths? I love her already, she’s so resourceful. She is heading south on campus, so most likely leaving the city on a south road. It will have to be urban too because of her ears. Is that a bus ticket? I zoom in on a paused segment of her. Sure enough sticking out of her pocket is a folded bus ticket. I can’t read it, but I have a pretty good idea which one it is due to the logo. I delete the footage of her and I, then continue the search.

“Drive to the south bus stop near the gas station,” I command the driver, getting into his car. He starts driving immediately, they are all to easy to command. Not River, she fights against me until it looks painful, that’s why I had to tell her to stop. Plus, I had to repeat a command!

We finally arrive at the stop about a half hour later. Sure enough, there is a small figure in a gray sweatshirt and sweat pants leaning against the small bus stop shelter.

“Wait for us,” I command. Rivers head snaps up and she looks at the car, she can hear me. I grin and quickly get out.

“You can’t outrun me River,” I say, sitting next to her on the disgusting bench. This will ruin my suit for sure.

“How.... How did you find me?!” She asks, still looking away from me, but not attempting to move.

“Easy really. I am kind of disappointed you didn’t give me a better chase. Using your powers to escape was brilliant by the way, we are going to have so much fun together,” I say, spreading my legs in front of me.

“You can just let me go, you don’t have to do this. I don’t want to go with you and it’s not fair that you can make me want to with a few words,” she says, her voice shaking. Is she afraid of me? Why? I haven’t done anything to her! I’ve fed her and clothed her. I gave her a bed to sleep in and shown her nothing but kindness. 

“I want you to go with me and you do to even though you don’t know it yet. What do you think of me and how do you feel about me, tell the truth now,” I command.

“I think you are a sadistic bastard that is used to getting everything he wants and only likes me because of my powers not my personality. And since you compelled me to be honest, I’m scared shitless of you! You can make me do anything you want and I hate it so much. That was my fathers job and he did it well enough. I escaped him and I thought I was going to be free of controlling people forever, but obviously I was wrong,” she yells quickly, before I can tell her to shut up. She sounds like Jessica, much politer, but Jessica all the same. I sit in silence with her for a few minutes, not knowing how to respond.

“Tell me about your father,” I finally command. I know she has some issues with him, but I can’t figure out what.

“Please, don’t make me,” She begs, finally looking at me. There is something different in her eyes, something new. There are tears staining her cheeks. How could she cry so silently I not notice?Who taught her how to do that? I feel anger rise in my chest. 

“Why not? And stop crying,” I push. I can do whatever I want. I know she wants to, deep deep down, she wants to stay with me, get to know me, and eventually fall in love with me because she feels the connection. 

“I have PTSD and talking about him and my parents in general triggers my attacks,” she explains slowly, like I am stupid. It is obviously something that bothers her. Oh that’s right! She told me that before! 

“Fine. Come to the car with me,” I command, getting off of the bench. She hesitates for a long minute until finally her body moves to do what I commanded. Incredible, she is still resisting me. I let her in first, then slide in after her. Yuck, she smells horrible. “Take us home,” I command. I gave him my address earlier so River wouldn’t know.

“Why did you run?” I ask, looking over. She was huddled against the door, seated as far away from me as humanly possible in the car. “Oh yes, don’t try to escape or hurt me using your powers. Also, don’t fight my commands any more, it’s a touch irritating. And you are only able to hear me,” I say. That coveres the basics. She slumps a little more. 

“I ran because I don’t like you! I hate what you do to me and I can’t even say I don’t want to go with you, because you made me think I want to earlier. I know that I don’t! You kidnapped me, and once I escaped you you stalked me and did it again! Now your taking me only God knows where to-“

“Just shut up. I gave you a choice! I give everyone a choice, it’s just up to you to make the right one,” I yell. I lean back and take a few deep breaths, running a hand through my hair. Not many manage to get me this angry. I will keep her forever.

She is silent all the way back to the house. Then she follows me in without me telling her to! She must finally be accepting that she wants to stay with me. I lead her up the stairs and into my bedroom, it is nearly dinner time.

“Go shower and change into the outfit on the bed when you come out,” I command. I leave out come to dinner on purpose to see if she would. Her eyes turn glassy and after a few seconds, she turns to follow my commands. I grin as I hear the water start and fight the urge to join her in the shower. We have to establish trust first. She will never trust me if I just do whatever I want, even though I have a right to. I need to earn her trust if she is ever going to love me.

I quickly change into a new suit and lay an outfit out on the bed for River. Then, I go downstairs.

“Celine! Make us dinner,” I yell. A few minutes later, a fantastic smell fills the house. This is an amazing house too, it is huge! About a half hour later, River slides into the seat across from me. The table is already set and she was wearing the beautiful blue sleeveless dress I picked out. It brings out her eyes, which now look ocean blue. She is so beautiful, nothing like the pale dark haired raven from before. Nothing like Jessica Jones. There is something on her shoulder though, a small pink circle. There are many of them, what are they? 

I lean forward on my elbows and study her closely. She has her eyes down, like she is looking at the table. But there is something different, like she was reliving a memory. She straightens a little.

“What are you thinking about love? Tell the truth now,” I ask, tilting her chin up. Her eyes flicker up to mine, then back down.

“Rules of captivity,” she responds. I snort and start to laugh.

“You’re not a captive,” I say. Wow, she never gives up.

“I’m not a captive,” she repeats, her voice empty compared to before. She still believes she is a captive. She is incredible! Her mind is able to resist me, but she doesn’t even realize it. 

“Tell me you love me,” I softly command. I just need to hear her say it. 

“I love you,” she repeats. Her eyes meet mine again and this time I see untampered rage and fear flow through them. She is furious with me, she is scared of me! Why? I haven’t done anything to her. I give her this nice house to live in, good food, and good cloths. Celine steps out of the kitchen carrying two covered platters. Ahhh, dinner.

Celine sets one platter in front of me, then in front of River. She lifts the lid to reveal a steaming bowl or soup. It smells good and looks even better.

“Continue cleaning,” I command her, mixing around the contents of the bowl.

“Thank you,” I hear River say. I look up and discover she is talking to Celine, not me. She should thank me not Celine, I commanded her to make this. Celine leaves without a word and I take a bite. Lord, this is good! Rivers expression says the same thing. Good, she likes soup.

“I want you to eat all of it,” I say, not commanding her. She sighs and glares at me before eating more. She is definitely underweight for her height. In no time, we are both done. I sit up and go to sit on the couch, turning on the football game. After a few minutes, she comes over and sits on the couch, still as far from me as possible.

“Come over here, you feel safe with me,” I say, extending my arm out across the couch. She walks over to me and sits down next to me, stiff as a board of wood. “Relax, I won’t hurt you,” I say, running my fingers through her smooth, still damp hair. Her posture drops and she leans into my chest. She wants this, she wants me. “You want to suck me off and enjoy it, don’t you?” I ask, this will be fun


	5. Hurt (Rivers POV)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: There’s is rape in this chapter

  
“I want to suck you off and enjoy it,” I repeat. No this isn’t right! My body drops to its knees in between his long legs and I hesitantly take his half hard length out of his pants. I gulp as I see it’s length and thickness, but my body is already moving to take him in my mouth. Yeah sure, give me a choice... He doesn’t taste bad, like father did, or force me to take him deeper. He’s letting me control the pace. 

_Enjoy it_

He is fully hard in no time, due to my expert skills. I can’t go all the way down on him, but I am close due to my throat being ruined by father. He is groaning and moving below me, no match for my skills. I swirl my tongue around the head then go back down, swallowing around him. I really hate him. He is just like father. The thought is confirmed when he grabs my head and starts moving it the way he wants. I try to not gag as he makes me deep throat him. Suddenly, the dick in my mouth changes, now it’s fathers.

_“Relax bitch, it’ll go down easier,” he says, making me gag again. I desperately try to relax, but it is hard with his dick stabbing the back of my throat and this gag holding my mouth open. He pulls out and slaps me hard enough to leave a mark, knocking me to the floor, “I said to relax!” He roars, pulling me back up on my knees from where I fell. He forces himself back in my open mouth. I am drooling down to my chest and the floor, unable to swallow with the gag in my mouth. He finally came, “Swallow all of it girl, I don’t want one drop on the ground or else you’ll be punished,” he says, forcing me to swallow._

“River?” says a new voice. This one is calm and British. “Are you alright love?” The scene in front of me changes. I am still on my knees with the bitter taste of cum in my mouth, but father isn’t here, Killgrave is. No, he made me have another attack! I hold back a sob. He also made me give him a blow job. 

“I’m fine,” I respond, my voice hoarse. I am breathing heavy, and quickly wipe the tears and drool from my face. 

“Where did you learn to suck cock like that?! that was extraordinary!” He exclaims, tucking himself away.

“My father taught me!” I snarl, getting to my feet. His face changes from its usual arrogant smirk to an unreadable expression.

“Your father made you... made you do this to him?” He asks. His voice is different, calm. There is something wrong.

“Forced, like you! And Yes...” I say, dragging the word out.

“What happened when you zoned out? Tell the truth,” he growls, not defending himself. His voice is quiet, scary, and commanding.

“I had an attack,” I choke out, holding back tears. This isn’t fair, he can’t make me tell him. He suddenly stands up, making me finch back a few steps.

“It’s okay River, I won’t hurt you like he did,” Kilgrave says, pulling me into his embrace.

_He won’t hurt me like father did_

“But you already have,” I say, still trying not to cry. Wait that isn’t right.

_Stop crying_

I realized the true horror then, I can’t cry. He took away one of my main emotions, my way out in stressful situations. He just hugs me harder, making rage tingle in my depths. I hate him so much, with a passion. I brake off the hug pretty quickly, since he didn’t make me believe that I like being touched. I still hate it. He sighs.

“We are not going out again today, you can wonder around the house as long as you don’t leave,” he says, sitting back down. I can’t get away from him fast enough. I run up the stairs and start to look around, looking for a sanctuary space for myself. I quickly find one, it is a huge library with a black baby grand piano and a ton of books. Perfect. I browse the shelf’s for a few minutes and find a book that looks good. Then, I settle down in a large lounge chair and start to read.

What the hell am I doing?! I can’t just sit here and read, waiting for him to come and control me again. I jump up and start looking for a phone, I have to call for help. Wait, what will I say? No, I have to tell my sister where I am. She’ll be worried when I don’t show up at my usual time tomorrow. I find an old phone and dial her number, realizing that he took my phone.

“Hey G, you know who it is. I just want to tell you that I won’t be able to meet with you tomorrow. I have a really big test at school, so I will hopefully see you next week. I miss you and love you, stay in the shadows,” I quickly say, leaving her a message. I hang up and decide to sit on the window sill and read the book. It is dark outside now, but I can see the city lights in the distance.

“River, come to the bedroom!” I hear Killgrave bellow. I sigh and make my way to the bedroom. He is sitting on the bed, thankfully still fully dressed. “Sit next to me,” he says, patting the spot beside him. I sit down, letting him pull me into his chest. His soft heart beat steadying me. He traces circles on my shoulders and my collar bones, running his fingertips over my scars. “What are these?” He asks, lightly poking at one of them.

“They’re scares,” I say, closing my eyes. I feel relaxed and at peace. What’s going on??

“From what?” He pushes. How can he be so stupid?!

“From fathers cigars,” I reply, he smells so good. For some reason, I am completely calm. This doesn’t bother me. It should! I get attacks from just thinking about it, now I am saying it. “What are you doing to me?” I ask sleepily, weakly pushing him away.

“My father made a new batch of power serum that allows me to interject a certain mood into your mind, now what else did he do to you?” he says lowly. He is angry. I feel a pinch of anger flow through me, not sure if it is mine or his. I should be angry, shouldn’t I? He can make me feel.... wonderful. A new feeling of deep trust consumes me, he will help me. He will protect me and keep me safe. 

_I’m safe with him, I trust him._

“It’s easier if I show you,” I say, standing up. I slowly take off the dress I am wearing to find myself only in my bra and panties. I trust him, he thinks I’m beautiful. He loves me. Killgrave is in front of me in an instant, his thin fingers running over the scars across my stomach.

“We are more alike then you will ever know,” he says, pushing me back against a wall. He runs his hand up my stomach, over my ribs and bra, and up to my head. Then, he kisses me. A feeling or arousal comes barreling through my body,

 _I kiss him back. I want this, I want him_.

It is so different from what father did to me. I wrap my hands around his head and fight with him for dominance. He suddenly shoves his knee in between my legs and grinds against my pussy, forcing me to widen my stance. I yelp and brake off the kiss, I don’t want to have sex with him.

“To fast, we’re going to fast,” I say, breathing heavy from the kiss. I have never had sex before and I don’t plan on having it with him.

“Ok love, thank you for sharing,” he says, backing off. I suddenly realize that I am dressed only in my bra and underwear. I push past him and run into the bathroom, slamming the door. Oh my gosh! What just happened? I slide down the wall so I am sitting with my knees gathered into my chest. I wanted him and he didn’t even command me. He’s just playing with my emotions.

I start to sob. That wasn’t me. His words come back to me, he can make me feel a certain way now without even talking! I start crying harder. G will be alone, she will have no one to watch over her. I will be stuck with this creep for the rest of my life. I will be forced to think things and feel things I really don’t. I just cry.

I don’t even realize that he is in the room until he picks me up bridal style. I struggle in his grip.

“Go to sleep,” he commands and in an instant, I am asleep.

I wake up feeling like a bus hit me. My head hurts and I feel sick. I’m alone in the bed and the clock on the night stand reads 9 am. I sit up, my head aching. It feels like someone cracked my skull open. I rub my temples and groan. What happened? He told me to sleep, then I slept. Why does my head hurt? I am in a different outfit again, one similar to the outfit from before. I don’t care though, he’s probably already seen everything. I flop back down on the bed and close my eyes.

“I know! She is unresponsive! She’s been asleep for over 24 hours and-“ Killgrave storms into the room on his phone and stops when he sees me staring back. A look of relief washes over his face and he hangs up the phone. “You’re all right! How do you feel?” He asks, sitting in a chair besides my bed.

“My head hurts,” I groan.

“I know and I’m sorry,” he says, his long fingers massaging my scalp. I let him, to weak to fight back.

“What did you do to me?” I ask, I really feel bad.

“It wasn’t knowingly, but the new power I have doesn’t just make you feel a certain way, it completely readjusts your way of thinking. It damages your brain,” he says slowly. Memories from the other night come back. I showed him everything, told him over half of my trauma.

“So, why would you care what it does to me?” I ask. I am obviously only here for him to control and do anything he wants to me. A thought suddenly clears my mind, better me than someone else. Better someone who can stand up for herself then a weak person. At least I’ll give him a challenge, well I’ll try to. 

“Because I love you!” He snarks.

“I hate you! You made me expose the most sensitive parts of my body to you, because I thought I was safe. You manipulated me and even made me give you a frikin blow job! You are just like my father. You may say you gave me a choice but you didn’t, you don’t!” I yell, breaking into tears half way through. He opens his mouth. “Go ahead! Tell me to shut up! I’m just here to be your mindless slave right? I’ll obey your every order,” I say, looking away and desperately wiping the tears from my face.

“You know, you were crying for an hour until I came and got you. This really bothers you doesn’t it? Don’t try to escape,” he says, leaving the room. He left me alone! I go for the shower immediately. Turning the water almost as hot as it will go, I step in. The burning sensation across my skin helps me clear my mind. I actually kissed him last night! We were about to have sex! Why didn’t he force me? Maybe he isn’t so bad after all... I push the thought aside immediately, he is the devil in human form.

When I finally come out of the shower, the clock on the nightstand reads 10 am. Wow, that took a while. I sigh when I don’t see an outfit and start to look in the closet. There is just a bunch of dresses and suits. Not one item of clothing that I want to wear. I would kill for some jeans right now. I walk into the bedroom only wrapped in my towel. I am surprised to see a try full of food laying on the floor near the door. I didn’t think that he would give me food after that. That was always one of fathers punishments. No one will ever love me if I am fat.

I pick up the tray and move it to the table in the room. There is a note on it that I didn’t notice before. I pick it up and read it,

I know you’re angry with me and you have every right to be. Please try and eat something.  
~K

So he isn’t commanding me. That is new. I sigh and start eating the scrambled eggs on the plate. I put the fork down and just eat the toast, not having the stomach for anything else. Then, I quickly change into a bra and underwear, browsing the closet again for something to wear. I find something folded on the bottom and smile. It is my adidas. He isn’t such a dick after all. I slip them on over my lace panties which feels very weird, then put on the tank top I wore to bed. Then, I quietly go to the library, closing the door behind me.

The book still lies where I placed it yesterday, Killgrave hasn’t been in here, or he didn’t move it. How can I just read here? Maybe I can annoy him by playing the piano. I pull out the bench and sit down in front of the keys, a familiar position. I press down on a key, but can’t hear it.

_I can only hear him_

I sigh, get up, and push the bench back in. My hate for him bubbles even more, I can’t even play the piano. I cross the room and sit on the window sill, looking outside. I need to work out. He has to have a weight room somewhere in this house. I start wondering around again, until I finally find one that will work. It is small, but it has a pull up bar, and punching bag with tape. That will work. I close the door, and quickly tape up my hands. Then I start punching.

At first, I imagine it is my father, but this time I imagine Killgrave. Jab, left hook, jab, jab, right hook. I fall into a pattern, ignoring the pain in my wrapped knuckles. I dodge an invisible fist and keep pounding into the bag. Suddenly, I am back with my best friend.

_“You need to learn how to defend yourself when your father hurts you,” he says, wrapping my knuckles. He was my Latin teacher and swim coach in middle and high school. I would stay with him on days My injuries were so bad I couldn’t go to school. He was my true friend and mentor._

_It’s pointless, I’ll deal for a few more years then I’ll take Melody and leave,” I respond, rotating my stiff shoulders._

_“That’s not how it’s supposed to be. Always remember River, the strong are supposed to protect the weak. Your father is a sick man, but you are a strong beautiful women, you can do anything. Now, put your hands up to protect your face, like this,” he says, putting his own hands up. I follow his example. “Good, now you punch with a locked wrist, land a few on the bag,” he says, holding the bag._

_I lash out and punch the bag a few times. Jab, Jab, kick._

I am back in the room, still alone. Joe is long gone, I miss him. Jab, right hook, jab, jab, left hook. I keep punching, and release the emotions I’ve been barreling up. I keep my shoulders tucked and start grunting. Suddenly the bag flys across the room and falls over. Shit. 

“Talk about anger management,” says Kilgrave. He is leaning against the door frame with his thin arms crossed over his chest.

__

“Shut up,” I grumble, starting to unwrap the tape. He enters the small room and caresses my cheek, making me flinch back.

__

“River, why are you crying?” He asks, genuine concern in his voice. I don’t even realize I am.

__

“It’s how I release my pent up emotions,” I answer blankly, wiping my tears. He suddenly grabs one of my hands and starts unwrapping the tape, forcing me to sit on the small bench. I let him, knowing he will command me if I don’t. When he is done, he lets the tape fall to the floor and brushes his fingers over my bruised knuckles. I don’t give him the satisfaction of wincing. He undoes my other hand and does the same thing. I sit motionless with my eyes down, that’s how father liked me, submissive.

__

“I’m sorry River. I didn’t try to hurt you, I will never hurt you,” he says, sounding like he means it. Is his mind that twisted that he can’t see what he’s doing it to me? I sigh, but don’t respond. I am his prisoner now and probably will be for the rest of my life. It will be easier if I just give in. Go into captive mode like when father hurt me. It made me a mindless drone which I pretty much already am with him. “What are you thinking River? Tell the truth,” he says, forcing my chin up.

__

“Im thinking that it will be easier for both of us if I just do whatever you say. It’s taking to much out of me to fight. That’s how it went with father, I’ll listen now,” I say, putting my head down. 

__

“I am nothing like that man! Just go into the bedroom,” he growls, just like father.

__

I go into the bedroom without a word, waiting for his next command. “I want to see you without cloths and you want to please me, don’t you?” he says. 

“I want to please you,” I respond. I slide down my sweat pants and take off my shirt, leaving me in my bra and panties. “All the way,” he commands. I can’t hide my blush as I take off my bra and underwear. This is the first time I am completely naked in front of a man who isn’t my father. “Please-“ 

“Shh. You’re beautiful River, don’t feel embarrassed. Now turn around,” he says gently. I turn around so my back is facing him.

__

I hear a small gasp, and I realize that he is probably seeing my scars. He hasn’t seen these ones before. A cool hand traces the jagged lines along my back, making my shiver. He suddenly grabs both of my wrists and ties them behind my back with a rope. I know my wrists will be raw later. 

__

He spins me around and pushes me against the wall, giving me a bruising kiss. I don’t really kiss back, but I allow him entrance to my mouth. He kicks my legs wider apart and pushes his clothed thigh up and in, grinding against my bare vagina. I groan as I feel the pressure grow and I’m forced up to my top toes I don’t want this. I try to beg him to stop, but his mouth is on mine, stiffening any sounds I make.

__

“Tell the truth from now on and only speak when I ask you questions. Did your father do this?” He asks, breaking the kiss then going back in.

__

“No!” I gasp, still not kissing him. He smirks against my mouth and pulls off the kiss. Then, spins me and throws me on the bed like a sack of potatoes. I land uncomfortably on my bound arms.

__

“You know, I was going to wait until your 21st to have sex, but I think I’ll do it now,” he says, removing his shirt and pants. I whimper and try to break free. I can’t talk unless he asks me a question. “You want this, you need me inside of you,” he says, crawling over me.

__

“I want this,” I repeat, trying to make myself believe it. I know I don’t, I would never want this. I suddenly feel a craving,

_I need him inside me_

It almost feels like how I need air. The feeling consumes me and all I want is sex, even though I’ve never had it before. He startles my hips and kisses me, I feel his hard length through his boxers rub against the my pussy and it drives me crazy.

__

_I need him inside me_

__

He trails wet kisses and licks down my body, stopping to take each nipple in his mouth. He bites down lightly, making me squirm. I quickly discover that I have very sensitive nipples. I struggle in my bonds again, my shoulders aching. A cool finger suddenly breaches me. I gasp and feel some of the need go away. He is inside me.

__

“Get wet for me, you need my cock inside you,” he commands. This should be a sign to him that I don’t want this. I try to calm down, but he starts rubbing my clit, making me moan like a whore. Damn, he’s good at this. He adds another finger, then rolls a condom on his cock.

__

_I need his cock inside me_

__

I realize that he is raping me as soon as he pushes his condom covered cock into me. He is raping me. I hold back tears as his cock enters my virgin entrance, completely unprepared for him. 

__

_I want this_

__

My need dies down as he barrels down, buried completely inside me. His cock is inside me. I feel like I’m being cut open.

__

_I need his cock inside me_

__

He startes thrusting in and out of me faster, making me groan. My vagina burns from the intrusion, but 

__

_I want this_

__

No. I know I don’t want this. He scoots forward so my hips are forced up on his knees and better aligned with his cock. He’s taking my virginity! I know I don’t want this. His perfectly combed hair is coming undone, along with his control. I see the monster that he really is. I suddenly feel numb, the sensation drained out of my body. My brain only recognizes that this is wrong and I can’t do anything to stop it. Think of something else, music, tv shows, G. I feel dead. 

__

I wince as he somehow manages to move faster. It feels like I’m being speared and stretched, I think I’m bleeding. Suddenly, he stops and pulls out, inching his way back up my body, he takes off the condom.

__

“Finish me off,” he commands, breathing heavy. I struggle to reach his cock with my hands tied, my shoulders aching, and my vagina burning, but driven by his command, his cock is soon in my mouth. I quickly find a rhythm that will finish him off as soon as possible. I try not to think about where his cock just was. He grabs my head and forces himself down my throat, coming so deep I don’t have to swallow. He collapses next to me, breathing heavy.

__

“Did your father do that?” He smirks.

__

“No,” I whisper.

_I need his cock inside me_

My exhausted body tries to moves to him with my arms still tied. 

“Wow, you’re eager! You don’t need my cock anymore, but that was wonderful River, thank you!” He says. He just took my virginity, he raped me. I re-adjust so I’m laying on my side, the pressure off of one of my shoulders. He gets up a few minutes later, walking out of my line of vision. I hear him moving around, but my body is numb again. How can he be okay? He just raped me! I wanted it, but I know I don’t. 

__

I feel his hands pulling me up by the shoulders and open my eyes. I jerk back as he reaches around me.

__

I weakly make a weird strangled croak noise, still not being able to say anything, No more. Just leave me alone! 

__

“Relax love, I won’t hurt you. Just need to get you cleaned up,” Killgrave says untying my hands. I wince as my shoulders are returned to their original position, my wrists are scraped raw from my struggles. He somehow knows and gets behind me, rubbing out my shoulder muscles. I feel his cock rub against my back and try to move again. “Relax River, we are done for the night,” he coos, sounding slightly annoyed. My body relaxes into him, my eyes starting to feel heavy.

__

_He won’t hurt me_

__

He stops after a few minutes and scoops me up bridal style. He is strong if he is able to carry me.

__

He drops me into a warm bath, then climbs in, sitting behind me. The tub is big enough where we both comfortably fit. He washes my hair, gently putting shampoo and conditioner in, then washes my back.

__

“We’ll skip the part where you help me wash since you can barely keep your eyes open,” he says, sounding amused. His voice sounds far away. I close my eyes.

The next time I open my eyes, I am propped up on my feet and he is drying me off with a warm towel. Once he is satisfied I am dry, he dresses me in underwear and a matching bra then carries me back to the bed. He tucks me in under the covers and kisses my forehead,

“Sleep well River, I love you,” he says. Almost immeditaly I fall asleep, finally free of his commands.

I wake up freezing and in darkness. Regardless of the covers still over me, I am cold. I sense something warm beside me and roll over so I can bask in it. The sound of a steady heart beat and breathing puts me back to sleep.

When I wake up next, I am warm and very sore. I open my eyes to find I am laying on Killgraves bare chest and he is playing with my hair. That’s creepy.

“Good morning River,” he says, his voice a little deeper than usual. “Stay still, answer my questions truthfully, and don’t use your powers,” he says quickly, before I can respond. I stay silent, not moving. “Was last night good for you?” He suddenly asks, stroking down my back.

“No,” I respond. That is the truth. My vagina feels like a baseball bat was rammed into it. 

__

“Why? You wanted it. I made sure you enjoyed it,” He says, sounding hurt.

“I didn’t want it! You took my virginity without my consent!” I exclaim, why does he think it was good?

“You... You were a virgin?” He asks quietly, sounding different than normal. Maybe he’s realizing what a monster he is.

“Yes, but you took that from me along with the rest of my life,” I reply, still not able to move from his chest.

”I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have been so rough. Next time will be better, I promise,” he says, kissing the top of my head. Next time! No, this can’t be happening. I try to command any part of my body to move, but nothing happens. We lie in silence for a few minutes until he finally moves me. I let him without fighting, not that I can.

_Stay still._

He gets out of bed and goes into the closet, probably changing. I hear him shuffling around and sigh, will he just leave me here the whole day? He comes out a few minutes later, fully dressed. He frowns at me for a minute until he realizes that I can’t move due to his previous command. Idiot. 

“You can move now,” he huffs. I sit up and wince at the pain in my sore vagina, my back, and my arms. His eyes break contact at the strangled noise. “You’re free to wonder around the house and the back yard, don’t leave the property,” he says, before leaving the room.

I slowly get out of bed, feeling every sore muscle. I realize that I’m only wearing a bra and pair of underwear and my hip bones have hand size bruises on them from where he gripped me last night. I start to sob, this is so wrong on so many levels. I feel violated and dirty. I slowly pick up my sweat pants from yesterday on the floor and slowly pull them up my legs. Then I find another tank top from the closet and put it on. My stomach growls but I ignore it, not wanting to go anywhere near him.

I come to the conclusion that I want to go outside and get some air, I have to think about this. I slowly go down the stairs, seeing Killgrave sitting on the couch. 

“Where are you going?” He asks, sounding annoyed and not looking back at me.

“To get some air and don’t worry I can’t leave the property,” I snark, going through the kitchen and out the porch door before he can respond. The back yard is really big with a small waterfall. I gently sit on the ground away from the house and look out on the view. I never realized how beautiful it is, not that I’ve had time to enjoy it.

I can see the city on the horizon and feel the sun beating down on my back from above. I pull my knees into my chest and put my chin on them, I can never leave. As long as he says don’t try to escape, I can’t try. Reality suddenly hits me like a punch in the face. I’ll be his little puppet sex doll forever. I’ll never see G again, I’ll never finish college. He’ll rape me everyday and I can’t do anything to stop it. What’s worse is that he’ll make me like it. I was right about one thing though, sex did hurt and I don’t want to do it again.

I still don’t understand why he is keeping me. I know I’m not good looking and I’m to fat for anyone to like. At least it’s me and not some other poor girl with a family and a future. It’s just G and me, but she’ll be alone and without my help and probably be put in another foster home.

How did I survive fathers control? I could get away during the day, I could talk to other people, and only had to deal with him at night and weekends. How can I survive Kilgrave? I’ll be stuck with him everyday, obeying his every command like a slave. I have to find away to resist him.

I suddenly feel hot tears of hate roll down my face, he actually raped me. He violated my body and my mind. The logical side of my brain tells me that I’m in shock and it’s okay. I have to listen to that voice, to the voice in my head that told me I would survive fathers punishments. I will survive this. I hear the tv turn off and his heart beat get faster. He’s coming.


	6. Karma’s a Bitch (Kilgraves POV)

I stare at the huddled figure sitting in the grass for a while. She is looking out on the view, her back heaving from crying. Her long dirty blond hair covers her back, but I can still see the muscles in her arms as she hugs her knees into her chest. She is beautiful.

She was a virgin. Maybe Jessica is right, maybe I take things to far. I can’t believe that I was that rough, but she wanted it, right? A foreign feeling washes over me, it is like a pain in my stomach. Is it guilt or regret? No it can’t be either, I have no regrets besides not killing Jessica. Why is this girl making me feel this way? I’ve never felt guilt, why now? Maybe because we are so similar! It’s just our connection, maybe it’s because I went back on my idea to give her sex as a present for her 21 Birthday. That has to be it.

I decide to go check on her and start walking over to where she is sitting. She’s wearing those damn sweat pants again, how unlady like.

“River, are you alright?” I ask from above her. I refuse to sit in the grass next to her because it will ruin my suit.

“I’m fine, just leave me alone,” she says, her voice think with anger and sadness.

“Would you like to come in and have lunch with me?” I ask, purposefully not commanding her.

“What difference would it make if I don’t want to? You’ll command me to anyways,” she says, stiffly getting up, pushing past me, and walking towards the house. I smirk, I didn’t even have to command her. She really likes me.

I trail her and watch as she puts her hair in a high pony tail like it usually is, the muscles in her arms and back popping out. It usually annoys me because her hair is so much more beautiful when it’s down, but today I don’t dwell on it. I know that she is hurting and needs to do some things her own way. There’s that feeling in my stomach again, why would I feel that? I didn’t do anything that she didn’t want me to.

I join her at the table watching as she chugs her glass of water. Bloody hell, when was the last time I feed her? I frown when I realize that I can’t remember. I have to stick with my original goal and get her to gain some weight back. I remember how sharp her body curves were last night and how her ribs and hip bones stuck out a little to far. She just needed maybe 15 more pounds to look a little healthier.

The food comes after a few minutes of awkward silence. I notice that she keeps her eyes down and glued to a spot on the table, strange. She couldn’t look at me, why? This happened before, does she still think that she’s a captive?

A platter with a bowl of soup and a sandwich is set in front of me, breaking me from my thoughts and finally making River look around a little. Maybe this is all to much for her with the abuse her father put her through. She obviously hasn’t gotten over it. I still remember the anger I felt when I saw her back last night. Her scares looked like bloody whip marks.

I can’t help grinning as I see River start to eat. I didn’t even have to command it. I will have to if she dose not finish it, but she looks pretty ravenous. I also start to eat. The meal is okay and I suddenly realize I haven’t let the cook sleep in a week. I’m not so stupid that I will not let her, I guess we’ll be going out tonight.

“Celine!” I yell. She comes out of the kitchen a few minutes later. I can see the effects now. She has dark rings under her eyes and looks like she’s lost weight.

“Yes sir,” she says wearily.

“You have the night off. Go get some sleep and eat something,” I command. Her eyes light up and she tiredly smiles.

“Thank you sir,” she says, then hurries off.

“Why did you do that?” River asks, bringing her eyes up to my chin.

“Because I’m not a sadistic bastard that denies people’s basic life needs,” I respond, still eating. “And for gods sake, just look at me like usual,” I command. Her features soften and she looks me in the eyes. Her eyes are lighter than usual and red from crying. They are also empty and sad like she’s given up.

I want to make her happy, she shouldn’t be sad. The thought makes me start to plan, I can take her to Europe! That will be fun. I’ll take her to London and Paris. She’ll be happy with me there. I smile as I see her empty plate, then quickly finish my food.

“Darling, go upstairs and change into a dress, we’re going out to the city. When you’re done join me in the car,” I command. Her features twist and I see her desperately trying to fight my command. Her jaw clenches and her eyes are screwed shut, but her body betrays her and after a few seconds she goes and follows my orders. I love that fight, that passion she has.

I go out to the car and tell the driver, who’s still in the car from last time to start the car. I wrinkle my nose at the smell, the guy stinks.

“Go walk a mile away from us and slit your throat,” I command. The guy gets out of the car and starts walking. I guess I’ll have to drive! I move to the front and adjust the seat. I’ve only driven twice in my life time, maybe I’ll have River drive. She had a drivers license in her purse, which is now in my wallet. I move to the passenger seat and roll down the window.

River walks out of the house a few minutes later, wearing one of the beautiful dresses I got her.

“You look fabulous darling! Now get in the drivers seat, you’re driving,” I say. She’s in the seat a minute later, adjusting everything. “Now I know this isn’t necessary but just in case, do not purposefully get in an accident, do not make any uanessacry stops on the way to the city, if I am knocked out or hurt in any way take me back to the house and....” I pause thinking of a suitable way to make sure she’ll protect me. Her bruised knuckles catch my eye, giving me an idea “ And punch the garage wall as hard as you can forever,” I continue. “Oh, and you can only hear me, do not use your powers, don’t try to escape, and have fun tonight,” I say, listing off everything I can think of.

“Whatever,” she grumbles, turning on the engine and backing out of the garage. She flexes and tenses her shoulders as she starts to drive.

“Relax darling, we’re just going into the city,” I say, putting my arm across the back of the seat and around her shoulders. She relaxes but, keeps her eyes pointed straight ahead and white knuckles the steering wheel. “You feel safe with me, just relax,” I say again, lightly stroking her shoulder. Her grip lightens, wow we really need to establish some trust. “Tell me what’s wrong River, and be honest,” I command.

“Hmmm, lets think about that... Maybe it’s the facts that you raped me and took my virginity, order me around like a slave, force me to do or think things I don’t want to do or think-“

“Quiet! I never raped you, you wanted it and I don’t control you any more than I have to. Can’t you see that I’m trying here? I’m trying to be patient and lenient with you because I love you, and I know in time you will love me to,” I say, sounding more frantic then I wanted to. I pinch the bridge of my nose and sigh. How she manages to get me so angry I have no idea. River keeps driving into the city, biting the inside of her cheek.

“Park there,” I command, finding an open spot on the road. She parks and silently glares at me. “Fine, you can talk now. But I recommend you choose your words carefully,” I say, getting out of the car. River silently gets out and waits for me to come around the car. I grin and take her hand, starting to walk down the busy streets of New York City.

That’s when I see her. Jessica is standing in front of me, people swerving around her. Her facial expression reads angry and surprised. “River, use your powers and kill that women!” I command, pointing to Jessica and feeling rage crackle down my spine at what Jessica did to me. She snapped part of my neck, now I’ll have River break hers. River looks at me, pleading with her eyes as she extends her hand and lifts Jessica off the ground, probably by the metal zipper on her hoodie and slams her against the nearest wall. Jessica gets up looking dazed and starts to run into an alley. River trails her and picks her up again.

“Fight it! I know he’s controlling you but you need to fight!” Jessica yells before being slammed through another wall. She staggers up, looking out of it. I grin, knowing River can’t hear her. 

“Stay still River. Well if it isn’t Jessica Jones, the women who almost killed me. You know, I’m really not happy with you,” I say, putting my hands on River’s shoulders. She was so tense, always fighting. My new girl. 

“Stop controlling her, it’s me you want,” she gasps out, coughing and getting up to get feet.

“Wrong Jessica! For the first time, I found someone else who I want more than you. She’s beautiful isn’t she? Say Hi River,” I command.

“Hi River,” she repeats. Jessica glares at me.

“You know, you don’t seem all that surprised to see me, how did you know I was alive?” I ask, wrapping my arms around Rivers waist. She shudders making me grin. She is my shield and her and Jessica know it.

“I followed the trail of bodies asshole! Now let her go,” Jessica yells, clenching her fists.

“I don’t know, I’ve grown quite attached to her. You know she has powers too and is able to be controlled unlike you,” I say, resting my chin on her shoulder. Her breathing accelerates and her eyes flicker close.

“I’m going to kill you asshole,” Jessica snarls, standing up straighter.

“You already tried and failed! River, bring her to me,” I command. River takes the opportunity to get out of my grasp and snaps out her hand towards Jessica. Using the zipper, she drags Jessica over to me, far enough away that I am out of her reach. Jessicas arms are flailing franticly, her mind probably wondering how River is doing what she is.

“Restrain her,” I command. Still holding Jessica, River fashions a pair of hand cuffs out of an old soda can and wraps it around Jessica’s wrists, effectively pinning them behind her back. They won’t hold her if River brakes concentration. “Keep her still,” I command, crouching down to Jessica’s level. “My Jessica, you’re still so beautiful,” I say, caressing her check with the back of my hand. She jerks away and tries unsuccessfully to move.

“Let me go!” She yells loud enough to draw attention.

“Don’t make me gag you Jessica, even though I know you love it when you do,” I say, leaning in and kissing her neck. I feel her shiver and continue kissing and licking up her neck. She’s still beautiful.

“Stop!” She says, her voice shaking. I stand up.

“River, come here and kiss me like you mean it,” I command. River comes to me and rests one one of her hands on my chest and the other wraps around the back of my head. Then she kisses me hard, our tongues fighting for dominance. My eyes never leave Jessica’s as I deepen the kiss and grope River’s ass.

Suddenly, Jessica lunges forward breaking her bonds. She grabs River and throws her against the alley wall, then punches me causing me to stumble back and hit my head, sending me into darkness.

I wake up in my bed feeling horrible. I groan and sit up, finding myself dressed differently. What happened? I feel my face to find some sensitive raised patches of skin. Jessica did this, why am I here?

“River!” I drowsily yell, getting out of bed. I touch the back of my head, wincing at the pain that shoots through my skull. What happened?

“River!” I yell again, looking around. I check my watch, I’ve been out for 8 hours. She should still be under my control. I check all the rooms upstairs then start searching down stairs. I see her when I look in the garage.

She’s covered in speaks of blood and standing in a puddle of it, the dress she wears is torn. The wall is also smeared in blood, her fists covered with it, where it drips down her arms to her elbows. Her chest is heaving and it sounds as if she is wheezing. She holds her arms up, her muscles shaking from exhaustion and pain. Tears cover her face and she lets out a broken sound when she punches the wall, the audible sound of cracking bones echo through the room.

“Stop!” I yell, rushing over to her. She drops to her knees, sobbing freely, her hands a pulverized mess at her sides. “Oh my gosh! I’m so sorry River!” I say, kneeling next to her supporting her body weight. She mutters something I can’t understand, her voice hoarse, probably from screaming. “Hush now, it’s okay. I’ll take care of you. Sleep, just sleep,” I command, rubbing her shuddering back. She falls asleep instantly, but I wait a few minutes until her breathing calms down to pick her up. I bring her to my bedroom and lay her down on the bed, being careful not to flop her hands around. Then I carefully strip her and softly gasp. Her ribs have nasty looking bruises over them, no doubt thanks to Jessica.

I leave her on the bed and go into the bathroom to draw a bath up. Once it is filled I stop the water and go back to River. She hasn’t moved an inch from where I lied her, her breathing is still labored. I gently pick her up and put her in the water, not letting her hands get wet. Then I start to gently wash her.

She did this because I told her to. The thought hits me hard, I made her do this. I clean one of her arms off, avoiding her hand where the surface looks disfigured, bruised, and really bloody. Her other hand is the same way. I now notice that she has bruising around her neck and face too, like Jessica tried to choke her. I need to call a doctor. Going to a hospital is out of the question. 

I lay a towel out on the floor then lift River out of the tub on to the towel, not caring if my cloths get wet. The bath water is pink from her blood and I quickly drain it. Drying her off, I avoid touching her mutilated hands. Then I wrap her in the towel and carry her back to the bed where I dress her in pajamas. Leaving her to sleep, I go downstairs to call a doctor. Pulling out my laptop, I look up orthopedic doctors near us. I find a well recommended woman, then call her number. It rings a few times.

“What the Hell?! I’m not on call today idiot!” Exclaims a tired female voice.

“Come to 15 Burkshire Drive and bring your medical bag. Be prepared to reset hand bones,” I command. I hear a shuffling sound then a tired groan.

“I’ll be there in half an hour,” she says, then she hangs up. I go back and check on River again. Her breathing is shallow and it looks like she is in pain.

“I’m sorry,” I say again, even though she can’t hear me. I stay by her side until I hear the door bell ring. Finally, she’s lucky I need her alive. I run downstairs to answer it.

The woman at the door is wearing blue scrubs and is carrying a large first aid kit.

“Your patient is upstairs, go treat her,” I command, letting her enter the house. She goes up the stairs and I lead her to the room. The woman runs over to River and checks her hands.

“Jeez! What happened?!” She asks, skimming her hands over Rivers.

“Don’t ask questions, just fix her. I don’t want her to feel any pain either,” I say, watching her carefully.

“I’ll need to sedate her if you don’t want her to feel anything,” she says, taking a large needle from her bag. She fills it by stabbing the top through a small bottle and pulling the top up. Then, she finds a vein in her arm and plunges the needle in. Within minutes Rivers body goes lax and her breathing sounds better. Her mind is freed from pain. The doctor is rougher now, examining Rivers hands after cleaning them with a wet cloth she pulled from her bag.

“Well, just eye balling it, she looks like she shattered all of her proximal phalanges and the top half of her metacarpal bones. She may also have a wrist fracture from repeated hard impact. Her distal phalanx is bruised maybe broken. Whatever she was punching must’ve been hard,” She says. Wow, the lady knows her stuff. “I would like to take her to the hospital and get some x-rays so I can fix it properly,” she continues, glaring at me.

“You will fix her here to the best of your abilities,” I say. I’ll take her to my doctor in London after this, he can fix anything.

“Fine,” she snaps back. She straightens one of Rivers fingers with some nasty snapping sounds then puts a finger cast over it, wrapping around it with athletic tape. She moves to the next one and does the same thing, making me wince. River doesn’t move, she must be pretty out of it. Once she’s finished with one hand she moves to the other. After that she wraps Rivers wrists from her mid forearm up to her hand leaving all her fingers in their splints and wrapping the tape around her palm. She stands,

“Well, I did the best I could, but she definitely needs surgery to realign everything. I’m prescribing pain pills for her, she’s going to need them when she wakes up, which should be in a an hour or so,” she says, writing something down on a small paper and handing it to me. I crumple it up and shove it in my pocket. 

“Now go home and forget this ever happened,” I command. She walks down the stairs and out the door.

Time to go. I pack up some necessities in two suit cases and take them out to the car. Then, I change River into a new dress with a dark overcoat on top and take her to the car where I strap her into the passenger seat, I guess I’ll have to drive. I finish packing and start to drive after telling Celine to forget about us.

Rivers eyes flicker open and she looks around about half hour into the drive. I am on the highway, driving isn’t so hard. “Hey, how are you feeling darling?” I ask, glancing over at her. She flinches away at my voice. 

“Hands hurt,” she says, her voice hoarse and laced with pain. I hold out a cup full of water with a straw poking out since she couldn’t use her hands. She eyes it suspiciously then drinks the whole thing. “Where are you taking me?” she asks, obviously still in pain.

“The airport,” I respond casually. She stiffens and glances in the back where the suit cases are.

“Why?” She asks, wincing as I drive over a bump.

“Do you want me to tell you to not feel the pain?” I ask, trying not to use my powers on her.  

“No, I need to feel,” she says, her voice laced with worry. I need to get her to trust me.

“Hey, relax darling, I won’t without your consent,” I say, going off on an exiting ramp.

“Airports one more exit down,” River says quietly, looking relaxed. Bloody hell! I sigh and turn around. Someone suddenly drives past me scraping the side of the car making River jerk away then shout out in pain. The car slows and pulls in front of us. I unbuckle my seat belt, that bastard will pay.

“P-P-Please d-don’t-“

“Be quiet and stay in the car!” I command, cutting River off. I get out of the car and face the other man who is already out shouting at me. A little girl stands at his leg, clutching it for life.

“Stop speaking! Now you,” I point to the little girl, “step away from him and walk back to your house,” I command. The girl turns and starts walking on the side of the road in the opposite direction they came in. “You, go punch through your window and collect the biggest piece of glass,” I command the father. He turns and starts punching the passenger side window until it breaks. I glance back at River and see her pleading towards me with her eyes. I smile, I’ll do it for her, he hurt her when he hit our car. 

The father comes back towards me holding a large piece of glass in his bloodied hand.

“Now silently hold out your tongue and cut it off for yelling at me,” I command, smiling. The man follows my orders and cuts off the tip of his tongue, tears flowing from his eyes. “Good, now stab your self until you die,” I command. I turn and walk back to the car, hearing his screams. River sits motionless with a horrified look plastered across her face staring at the now dead man. I did it for her. 


	7. Healing (Rivers POV)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: There is rape in this chapter

That poor man and his daughter, what will happen to her? I keep by eyes fixed ahead as Killgrave gets back in the car. My hands are killing me! It feels like everything above my finger tips to my elbow is broken.

“Smile darling, you want to come to London with me,” he says. I feel my lips tug into a smile, we’re going to London. But he killed that man, I know I don’t want to go with him. But,

_I want to go to London with him._

“Have you been to London before?” He asks, pulling off on the right exit.

“No,” I respond, holding back tears. How can he be okay after he killed that man, after he made me hurt myself? This is so wrong. He can’t just take me to London, even though I want to go.

“You’re going to be quiet and come on the plane with me,” he says, pulling up to the gate. He gets out and I realize I can’t open the door with my hands. He opens it for me and helps me out by the bicep, gripping a little to tightly. I let him, feeling the effects of blood loss and little food. He notices my swaying and wraps his hand around my waist, supporting most of my body weight. My hands both look horrible, pretty much both wrapped in athletic tape from the forearm down.

“You and you, put our bags on the baggage line to London,” he says to some random people. They rush to do as they were told. He takes me inside and leads me straight past security with a couple words to the guards. My vision starts to darken as we get on the plane. I’ve never been on a plane before. Killgrave gives up supporting me and picks me up bridal style. He puts me in a large first class seat, then everything goes black.

I wake up to the captain telling us that we are beginning the decent. My head is on Killgraves chest and his warm arm is wrapped around me. I can’t see his face because of my position, so I sit up, unconsciously letting out a groan. My ribs and my hands hurt.

“You slept the whole flight! How do you feel?” He asks, not moving his arm from around me. He has an amused expression plaster across his face and I wonder if I laid on him or he moved me so that I was laying on him. Creep.

“Better. I’m hungry though,” I reply, not able to hide the pain I am feeling. My hands feel like they’ve been put through a blender set on high, my ribs also hurt, but the pain barely registers with the one in my hands.

“You should be, it’s been around 20 hours since you’ve eaten last,” he says, finally removing his arm. I take the chance to look out the window. The sun is low in the sky, rising to begin a new pain filled day. “We’ll fetch something to eat on the way to the hotel,” he says, stretching out.

I quickly look around. We were the only ones in first class. Did he compel everyone else to leave? Probably. This will be my life now, having no free will, doing whatever he tells me too. The plane shakes a lot, making me jerk.

“Relax love. Wait, is this your first time on a plane?!” He asks, realization clear on his face.

“Yes,” I respond shakily.

“It’s just turbulence, you’ll be fine,” he lightly says. Why is he in such a good mood? I relax,

_I’m fine._

Before I know it, we are walking through the busy airport of London. He has his arm wrapped around my waist even though he commanded me to stay with him before we left the plane. My arms dangle uselessly as my side, throbbing painfully with every step. Father broke my wrist once.

Suddenly, I am back with father. _I just finished giving him a blow job, and now he is raping my mom again. My sister pounds on her bedroom door, begging me to let her out. I stay kneeling where father left me, silently praying that he doesn’t hear her. He does, so he pulls out of my mom grabbing my hair and painfully dragging me down the hall. He drops me in front of my sisters door._

_ <\em>_

_“Open it,” he commands. I shake my head, he’s not getting her. He picks me up by my neck and slams me against my sisters door, my feet leaving the ground._

__

_“Please! Dad!” I gasp, grabbing his wrist with my hands. He pulls one of my hands away with his free one._

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_“Unlock this door or else I’ll...” he pauses, thinking of something painful while he chokes me. “I’ll break your wrist,” he says, bending it back painfully._

__

_“No!” I struggle, my vision blurring from lack of oxygen._

__

_“Did you just say ‘no’ to me?” He asks, to close to my face, I feel his cigar burning my cheek. I don’t miss the painful snapping sound that fills my ears and sends pain spiraling through my body. Father drops me on to the floor, and I curl in on myself, cradling my wrist and crying. He kicks my back, making me cry harder. “Bitches don’t say no, they do as they’re told,” he says, grabbing his belt and hitting me a couple times. Then, I feel the familiar sting of a cigar on my lower back, causing me to scream._

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“River, snap out of it,” coxes a calm British voice. I’m back in the airport. Killgrave is holding both of my shoulders, standing in front of me. He’s looking at me, actually at me and not through me.

__

“Sorry,” I sputter, realizing that tears are staining my face. “I just need to use the bathroom,” I finally manage to say.

__

“Of course, Tell me what that was about,” He says, leading me to the ladies restroom. 

__

“When he broke my wrist,” I shakily reply.

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“Your father broke your bloody wrist?” He asks, venom in his voice.

__

“Yes,” I say. He takes a deep breath, anger evident in his features.

__

“Don’t try to escape and come out as soon as you’re done,” he says, sounding calm compared to before. I walk into the bathroom and close the door behind me. He’s to unpredictable, going from angry to calm in a split second. Then, going into a stall, I close the toilet lid and sit on it. I let myself sob until I can’t cry anymore, then wipe my tears away with the sleeve of the overcoat I’m wearing.

__

I shakily get to my feet and exit the stall, staring at my reflection in the mirror. I look like I’ve lost weight which makes me smile, but I have a lot of nasty bruises. Around my neck is bruised, from where Jessica tried to choke me and I have a split lip and black eye. Taking her down was very hard.

__

My body starts to move towards the door, I am technically done with what I wanted to do. I put on a brave face and walk out to face the devil. He’s standing right outside the door, talking on the phone. He hangs up once he sees me.

__

“Your eyes are red, have you been crying?” He asks, walking with me towards the exit.

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“Yes,” I reply, my hands hurt so bad!!

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“I appreciate your honesty River. Now tell me why you were crying,” He presses.

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“I don’t like thinking about what he did to me and my hands hurt,” I say honestly. I just leave out the part where he dragged me to London without my consent and raped me. 

__

“You’ll be fine, the man I’m taking you too can heal anything. He’s like us,” Kilgrave says, leading me outside. Like us? So he has powers too! Kilgrave opens the door to a random white rain-drover and ushers me in. “You will silently drive us to the nearest 5 star hotel,” Kilgrave orders the driver. He starts driving. No food then, I sigh.

__

“You know, you don’t have to order people around like that,” I say quietly.

__

“Of course I do darling. You like it when I use my powers,” he states.

__

“I like it when you use your powers,” I repeat.

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“There’s my girl, now just relax we’ll be there soon,” He says, putting his arm around me. I reluctantly relax, his arm on my shoulders making me want to tense. A surge of excitement runs through me,

__

_I like it when he uses his powers._

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The car comes to a stop in front of a very fancy looking hotel entrance.

__

“Stay here and wait for us to get back,” Kilgrave commands the driver. He gets out and I slide out after him.

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“Do you have any Motrin or anything? My hands are killing me!” I exclaim, trying to keep my hands from moving.

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“I can tell you not to feel it love, but that’s all,” he says, opening the entrance for me.

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“I’m okay than,” I say, following him up to the front desk.

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“Hello my name is Cathrine! Welcome to Langham hotel, how may I help you?” The lady asks, with a smile.

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“You’d like to give us your finest room for free,” Kilgrave says, flashing a smiling back.

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“Of course! There are no bookings in the presidential suite, would you like to stay there?” She asks, her eyes glazed over. She is his slave now, just like me.

__

“That would be lovely! Send someone to the airport and get our luggage brought to the room,” he says.

__

“Here’s your key cards, enjoy your stay,” she says, sounding unsure. Killgrave grabs the cards from her shaking hand.

__

“Good, now forget we were here and don’t let anyone use the presidential suite,” he says, leading me away. It sounded like this is a routine for him. I shiver,

__

_I like it when he uses his powers._

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“After we look around, I’ll take you to my doctor,” he says, forcing me in the elevator. “I forgot to tell you, but I am sorry about your hands,” he says. Sure he is, he’s never sorry.

__

“Thanks,” I reply blankly. He sighs,

__

“I know you’re mad about it, but you’ll forgive me, won’t you?” He says playfully, knowing my answer.

__

“I’ll forgive you,” I echo. I hate him so much. He smiles and hugs me, kissing my forehead. I just stand in his embrace, my hands useless by my sides, I hate him. I break the hug and step out of the elevator as soon as it opens. I still hate it when he touches me or does anything for that matter. He looks slightly hurt, but unlocks the room, forcing me in. We are the only ones on this level.

__

“Oh yes! This is absolutely spectacular!” he says, waving his arms around. I have to agree with him, the room is beautiful. It has a full kitchen and balcony view. Along with 3 bedrooms and a sofa with a large flat screen tv in front of it. Kilgrave walks around, exploring the room like a child with ‘oohs’ and ‘awes.’

__

“Alright, lets get you fixed up,” he says, coming back over to where I stand. I nod, even though I forgave him I still remember what he made me do. “You know, I didn’t want it to be like this. I would have preferred for you to come with me willingly, but your hands would take a long time to heal and I want to spend that time with you,” he says, caressing my jaw line with his perfect hand. I let him, closing my eyes. He sighs, “You still don’t trust me!” He exclaims, taking his hand away and pushing me out the door.

__

“Why! Tell me why you don’t trust me and be honest!” He yells, forcing me into the elevator. I take a deep breath, I’ll let him have it.

__

“You really have the balls to ask me that! Hm, I wonder why I don’t trust you, lets start the list! One, you kidnapped me; two, you forced me to have sex with you; three, you forced me to punch a frikin wall for 6 hours as hard as I could, causing me brake most bones in my hand; fifth, you killed a man right in front of me and walked away like nothing happened; seventh, you took me out of the country without my consent; eighth, you starve me then force me to binge eat; ninth, you make me think I want to do all of this crap even though I don’t want to, and the list goes on forever Kilgrave,” I say, crying near the end. He looks shocked, his mouth opening and closing. I march out of the elevator and he follows looking like a lost puppy. The lobby is very nice.

__

“You don’t really believe that. You like being controlled by me and having sex with me,” he yells, purple veins popping out from his neck. I take a step back, he is scary when he’s angry. 

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“I-I like being controlled by you and- and having sex with you,” I stutter after fighting for a few long seconds.

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“You will stay quiet and not fight my commands,” He says, forcing me into the car again. I hate him. “Take us to the coffee shop down the street,” Kilgrave snaps, sounding angry. I keep my eyes down and sit up straighter. I can’t fight him. Wait, he hasn’t told me I can’t use my powers! I want to escape so badly, but I know I have to wait until he fixes my hands.

__

The car stops and Kilgrave gets out. I follow, letting him wrap his arm around my waist. I really hate this dress. We enter a crowded coffee shop, and Kilgrave looks around until he spots someone.

__

He walks over to a table with a small nervous looking man sitting at it. He has large glasses that he keeps fidgeting with and looks about as scared as I feel. Kilgrave pulls out a chair and I sit down, not bothering to fight anymore. I will leave as soon as I can.

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“He-Hello Mr. Kilgrave,” the man says nervously.

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“Fix her,” Kilgrave says impatiently, his good mood gone.

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“Y-Yes sir,” he says, holding his hands out. I put my bandaged hands in his, wincing at the contact. He starts to unwrap my left hands. “Th-this is g-going to hurt,” he says.

__

“Stay quiet River, I don’t want to hear a sound,” Kilgrave says, looking bored. The man finishes unwrapping the tape from my wrist and I wince at how much it hurts to have it free. There is bruising from my mid hand up to my mid forearm. Then he takes off the finger casts. I can’t scream, but if I could I would. All of my fingers are bruised and swollen from below the finger nail down to my mid hand where it meets the bruising from my wrist.

__

He takes my hand in both of his, then squeezes. I try to take my hand away, but he won’t let it go. Tears form in my eyes and roll down my cheeks as he presses harder, I rest my forehead agantist the cool table. Then, there is nothing. He releases my hand and I pull it away, looking up. It’s normal colored now! I curl my fingers to find I can do so without any pain. I nod my head in thanks, wanting to be able to thank him but not able to. He nods back in understanding and starts unwrapping my right hand. He repeats the process.

__

As soon as my other hand is healed I let my power expand. I notice that my hearing has gotten better now. I am able to tune out the people and sounds around me. Kilgraves mouth is moving but I don’t hear him. I grin and stand up, not looking at him. I made it so I can’t hear anything.

__

I feel the metal along the back of his chair and command it to move and snake up his arms. The rods move and wrap around his mouth and hands like I command. I let my hearing expand again. The man is looking at me while Kilgrave struggles in his bonds. He pulls a pocket knife out of his pocket and starts to cut his wrist. I tear the knife away,

_Don’t try to escape._

Killgraves words echo through my head. Shit! I can’t go anywhere. 

“Please I-I have to k-kill myself since y-your trying t-to escape,” He says, scrambling for the knife. I tie him up also using the chair, he holds his breath. I glare at Kilgrave, of course he has a back up plan. I can see him grinning under the metal, we both know that he won.

__

The poor man will keep trying to kill himself unless Kilgrave tells him to stop. I untie him and sit back down, not daring to meet his eyes. He wins this time, but next time he forgets to tell me to not try to escape, I will be gone. 

__

“Thanks love,” he says, grinning. I try to say something but nothing comes out of my mouth. I beg him with my eyes. Please let me talk. He rolls his eyes “Fine you can talk now.”

__

“Please. Tell him to stop,” I shakily demand.

__

“Why should I do anything for you? You just tried to kill me!” He says, sounding more amused than angry.

__

“Because it’s the right thing to do and you know I could never kill anyone,” I reply. The mans face is now turning bright red. Kilgrave looks unphased. “Please! I-I’m begging you!” I plead. This man will not die because of me. Something flickers across his face as I say that. Dare I say that its almost something human.

__

“Stop," He says, looking almost sympathetic. The man takes in a deep ragged breath of air. Kilgrave looks at me like he’s expecting me to say something.

__

“Thank you,” I mumble. His face lights up.

__

“You’re welcome, now don’t use your powers any more and don’t try to escape. Don’t hurt me in any way. You know, you’re truly phenomenal! Your mind is very strong. My powers work for 24 hours on everyone else, but only for 10 on you,” He says. I clench my jaw, this isn’t fair. I was so close, but I can’t let anyone else die because of me. “Tell me why you think that is and be honest of course,” he says.

__

_I like it when he controls me_

__

“I don’t know!” I exclaim. “Why do you think so?” I respond.

__

“I think it’s because you’re strong. Weeks before we met I took a series of power enhancement drugs to gain back control over the women we met in the alley. It didn’t work, but my influence went from 10 hours to 24. It’s like that enhancement never happened for you, leading me to believe that you were somehow immune to me before the drugs,” he says. Wow, he opened up quickly. He’s never told me anything about his past or his powers. 

__

“So that lady was with you and she’s immune to you? What is her name again? Janet, Jill... something with a J?”

__

“Yes and her name is Jessica Jones,” he says, standing up. I follow, knowing he will command me if I don’t. “Stay within 3 feet of me at all times,” he commands, holding out his hand.

__

“Oh and you” He says pointing to the man who healed me. “Forget this ever happened and go back home,” He finishes. Oh my gosh! He can actually do that! Make people forget everything. How many times has he done that to me? I wouldn’t remember anything.

__

“I’ll stay with you, just please don’t touch me,” I say, hating the way my voice cracks. He can make me forget everything. My mind goes back to when he raped me and suddenly I am back in the room. _My shoulders are in bruising pain and he is thrusting in and out of me._

__

“Oh for gods sake stop having attacks. You like touching me!” Says Kilgrave harshly. Then I am back in the restaurant. He is still holding out his hand. I take it and let him lead me out the door.

__

_I like touching him._

__

What was I thinking about? Oh his memory erasing ability. Well, he hasn’t told me to stay quiet.

__

“Have you done that to me? I mean erase my memory,” I clarify. We exit the restaurant and start walking down the street.

__

“No. Why?” He snaps, wrapping his arm around my waist. He’s still angry. 

__

“It just scares me. You can literally erase my memory and I would never know it,” I respond, leaning into his touch. His posture relaxes a little. 

__

“You know I would never do such a thing unless absolutely necessary,” he says softly.

__

“Yea, of course you won’t,” I respond, feeling satisfied with the answer.

__

_I know he won’t erase my memory_

__

Just then, my stomach audibly growls.

__

“Oh. You’re still hungry aren’t you?” He asks, turning us back around. I nod. “Use your words,” he commands.

__

“Yea, I’m hungry,” I say. We walk back to the restaurant and he ushers me in the car waiting for us out front.

__

“Driver, take us to the best restaurant around here,” Kilgrave says. “River, suck me off on the ride over,” he commands. 

__

“No! Don’t-” 

__

“Common, you know you want to do it,” he interrupts, giving me a dashing smile. God forbid that I’m kidnapped by an ugly hillbilly who I could never think is attractive. Instead I get a hot British guy I thought was attractive when I met him. 

__

_I want to do it_

__

“I want to suck you off,” I repeat. I move in between his legs and find that his member is already out and semi hard. I take him half way in my mouth.

__

_I want to do this, I know I do. I like it when I touch him and when he controls me. I like having sex with him._

__

I start bobbing my head up and down, swirling my tongue around him.

__

“You’re in love with me,” he says suddenly from above me in between gasps. I hum my approval around his cock.

__

_I’m in love with him._

__

My movements become slower and more erotic, I want him to enjoy this. No that’s not right. I don’t love him, I’m just in love with him. He missed something. I don’t love him. I hate him. Why do I want to suck him off? Because he commanded me to-

__

“Stop thinking, focus on this,” he says, falling apart beneath me. I focus on the cock in my mouth and all the other thoughts leave my head. Up. Down. Up. Down. “Stop,” He says from above me. “Ride me, but let me get you ready first,” he says.

__

I slip off my panties and he cups my sex with his hand. He inserts a finger into my hole and teasingly moves it around. This isn’t right. He said it would be better then last time. I try to brace myself for the pain. He’s making me have sex with him in a car for Christ’s sake! But, 

__

_I like having sex with him._

__

But I don’t want to. I try to move away, my breathing in short gasps.

__

“River you want this. Tell me you want to have sex with me,” he purrs. I settle back down.

__

“I- I want to have-have sex with you,” I whisper. I know I don’t. I know I just want to suck him off not do this. He adds another finger, rubbing my clit with his other hand. I groan, this is wrong but it feels really good right now.

__

_I want to have sex with him_

__

“Now ride me,” He says, taking his fingers out and putting them in his mouth. “You taste fantastic,” He says, kissing my neck. I line his cock up with my opening and go down on him, fully seating myself on his cock. He forces my head down and our lips meet. “Ride me,” He says again through our kiss. I use my thigh muscles to bounce myself up and down on his length. My vagina stretched uncomfortably around him and burning. Someone help me! Please.

__

I continue moving as he breaks the kiss. He pushes me off of him and across the seats then kneels in between my legs and shoves back in. I’m on my back now and my ribs hurt with every breath. I can feel them more now because my hands are healed. 

__

“You’re so tight, you think this feels amazing don’t you?” He asks.

__

“Yes!” I gasp as he goes faster. Please stop.

__

“Cum now River,” he commands. Something releases deep inside me, even through I was no where near orgasming. It’s painful for a minute because it’s being forced upon me, but soon a feeling of complete numbness and calm washes over me. My head falls back on the seat. Then he cums and more warmness fills my insides.

__

My vagina feels like it’s pulsing and I feel wetness drip down from it. My body is shuddering uncontrollably, like I’m shivering. He collapses on top of me, his breath warm against my cheek. I feel empty. 

__

“You’re so beautiful, that was amazing. You’re amazing,” he whispers in my ear. He kisses me hard and I barely stop myself from crying. He just raped me again, without a condom. Oh no! I can get pregnant! No! He breaks the kiss and sits up pulling his pants and underwear back up. I sit up and grab my underwear.

__

“No, leave them off,” he says grinning. I lean my head on his shoulder, pulling my dress back down without panties. It’s feels weird. 

__

_I like touching him_

__

“River, be honest. Was that good for you?” He asks, fiddling with my hair. I hate him. 

__

“Yes,” I say, hating myself for it.

__

“Do you like having sex with me?” He continues.

__

“No,” I say immediately without thought.

__

“Why? I made you cum,” he says, pushing me away and sounding hurt.

__

“I don’t want to have sex with you! What do I have to spell it out for you? Or write it down? I HATE YOU! I will never, of my own free will, want to have sex with you,” I yell. He needs to understand this. He looks furious and his mouth opens to say something. I interrupt “Is this where you make me punch the wall again for 6 hours? Or make me do something else that will hurt?” I continue. “You will never be anything more to me than a younger version of my father! Yea he didn’t rape me, but you did and what’s worse is that you made me like it. You say “you want it, don’t you?” But that’s a command! At least choose your words more carefully, because when you say that I know I don’t want it," I pause to take a breath.

__

“Okay stop. I get it,” he says quietly.

__

“You-You do?” I ask, did I finally reach him? Please Lord make him understand this.

__

“I get that you’re confused about your feelings for me! Denying them will only hurt you, but I can help. I should have been more specific. You asked me if I have ever told you to forget anything before and I answered honestly. Now the next time you ask me that it will be a lie. In a minute you will forget that this conversation ever happened and then you will happily join me for dinner. Tonight you will just think about me and you will love me and be in love with me. You will be thankful for what I give you and-“

__

“Please don’t do this! You don’t have to! I’ll tell you right now that I will find out about this and when I do I am going to be furious and-“ my mind suddenly goes black. What am I doing?

__

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don’t forget to leave kudos! Feel free to comment too! Also I know my grammar is bad, but I’m woring on it! Just stick with me


	8. Lets play a game (kilgraves POV)

A blank look passes over Rivers face. She forgot just as I commanded. She takes in her surroundings with big blue dazed over eyes until she looks at me. A small smile crosses over her face, she’s happy to see me. I didn’t even have her to smile.

“What’s wrong darling?” She asks. Her eyes look like glass, her voice is so much different then when she last spoke to me. I feel that pain in my stomach again and I know it’s regret. I shouldn’t have told her to forget our conversation like that. I may have a thin line between good and bad, but I know that it was bad to do that. It is wrong.

“Nothing love, just relax we’ll be there soon,” I say, pulling her into my chest. She lets me without fighting. I’m honestly a little disappointed that she doesn’t anymore. That’s one of the reasons I love her. She can fight me, but not now. I told her to love me, to be in love with me. I see now that that may have been a little harsh. I also told her to only think about me.

I look at her now, tracing small circles over my knee with her hand. I hate the way she looks. She looks like all of my other puppets, empty. I also told her to be herself, so is this truly her? No, she’s always fighting me.

“What are you thinking about River?” I ask, running a hand through her hair.

“How I love to be controlled by you and how much I love you,” she says, bringing her head up and kissing me. It sounds so wrong coming from her. I let her kiss me, I want her to love me on her own not this.

“Act how you normally act. I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have ordered you do act this way. My temper gets out of control sometimes,” I say. I need to remind myself of my goal. Get her to love me without commanding her. But I’ve given her everything. Good sex, nice cloths, living in a nice house and now a 5 star hotel. What else can I do?

“When did you order me?” She asks, sitting up quickly. Poor innocent River.

“It doesn’t matter, let it go,” I command, feeling a little guilty.

The car suddenly stops and I look out of the window. It is definitely fancy from the front. I get out and River follows, taking my out stretched hand. Oh. I told her to like touching me. I guess it doesn’t matter, such a small thing is okay for now.

“You’d love to give us your finest table,” I say to the hostess once we are inside.

“Of course! Follow me,” she says, grabbing two menus. We follow her to a nice table on a balcony and sit down. The view is fantastic and I make a note to come back at night. I look over the menu, it looks like they have a little of everything. I chance a glance at River.

She has her chin perched on her hand and is staring out at the view. We’ll have to sight see tomorrow, I’m sure she’ll love that. She still has a light black eye and bruising around her neck. How can she still look so beautiful?

Oh the pill! I reach in my jacket and take out the birth control pills I bought. I open it and hand one to River. She looks at me, obviously not wanting to take it.

“Take it. It’s for birth control,” I tell her. She nods and dry swallows it. I don’t want another Hope on my hands, I can’t have her getting pregnant until she wants it.

She’s so powerful and similar to me. I feel a small amount of guilt, why does controlling her affect me like this? She’s completely at my mercy and I can’t even tell her how to act. A waiter walks over to our table and stops,

“Hello my name is Cassie and I will be your server this afternoon! Can I get you anything to start?” She asks, pouring us some water.

“Give us your finest wine and the chefs special,” I say, handing her the menus. She blinks in confusion.

“Ok that will be right out,” she says walking away.

“You know you can ask for things right? You don’t always have to use your powers,” River says quietly. There she is, my fighter.

“Oh yes, because I’m sure they will be thrilled to give us things for free,” I sarcastically respond.

“Maybe you could pay,” she softly suggests.

“Are you serious? I can pay for anything I want to. I just don’t feel like paying tonight,” I respond. I have about 300 British pounds on me right now.

“I’ve never seen you pay for anything,” she responds. How can she be so ungrateful? I give her everything.

“Fine, I’ll pay for dinner,” I respond, raising my eyebrows. I have to be patient. Why can’t she see I’m trying to woo her? I give her good sex, nice cloths, amazing food, and great living spaces. She’s just like Jessica. She doesn’t know what she wants. “River, tell me what your plans for the future were before you met me.”

“I wanted to finish collage, then go to medical school. After that I would move somewhere nice where I could find a good paying job at a hospital. Then I would buy a house and adopt some kids to look after,” she says, without hesitation. So she did have plans.

“Answer all of my questions honestly from now on. What are your plans now?” I push.

“Survive you,” she says, looking me in the eyes. Survive me?

“What’s that supposed to mean?” I scoff.

“That means I want to survive you. I want to live through this, because when I escape I’ll make sure you pay for everything you’ve done to me and to others,” she says, sounding more serious then I’ve heard her sound before. I barely stop myself from making her do something bad to herself as punishment. None of my other toys say things like that to me and live. No, she’s not a toy. She’s a person. This is why I love her, every time she fights me she makes me want her more.

“No River, you want to live with me,” I softly suggest. She must not be allowed to escape. Those thoughts can be dangerous.

“Yea, I do,” she says, her eyes glassy again and her features soften. The waitress comes back and pours us both of a glass of rich looking red wine. Then she leaves without a word. I pick up my glass and take a long sip, savoring the taste. This is fabulous! River does the same, looking unappreciative as always.

“What’s your real name?” She suddenly asks. I give her a questioning look. Why the sudden interest? She must notice my expression. “Look, you want me to love you right? Well, I can’t if I don’t know any thing about you,” she quickly explains. I smile, she knows me so well already.

“My parents named me Kevin, but that boy died a while ago. My name is Kilgrave,” I respond a little to harshly. She nods,

“How old are you?” She continues.

“Older than you... You know, lets make this a game. I get to ask you something every time you ask me something. Do you want to play?” I ask, leaning on my elbows.

“Fine. But you have to be honest. It’s only fair,” she responds. I smirk, she’ll never know if I’m not.

“Deal. I get two first to even it out,” I say. She nods.

“What’s your favorite holiday?” I start.

“Christmas,” she responds.

“Favorite color?” I continue.

“Turquoise,” she says. “Why do you like purple so much?” She asks.

“Purple is the color of power and it looks good on me,” I respond with a smile. “Why did you change your name?” I ask. She pales a shade.

“Well... I um... It’s similar to what you did. River was the weak dependent girl who couldn’t stand up for herself. But Joe was my mentor and friend. He was so strong and he taught me right from wrong. So the name Joe would be disrespectful to him so I choose Josephine,” she finishes. I don’t miss the way her eyes glass up when she says his name. She loved him, but not in the boy friend way, in a family way. She takes a minute with her eyes closed. I’m guessing she would probably would be having an attack, but I told her earlier to not have them. “How did you get your powers?” She finally asks.

“Experiments. Yours?” I ask. Our food comes then. The waitress sets it down,

“I hope you enjoy your meal,” she says, walking away.

“Loss and pain. What were your parents like?” She asks, looking longingly at the food.

“They were the scientists who did those experiments,” I respond, serving her some food. Something passes through her eyes. it isn’t pity like I expect to see, but understanding. She knows what it’s like. “Why don’t you want to marry?” I return, taking a bite of food. We could get married...

“I don’t like the idea of having a husband,” She responds, eating a forkful of meat. Her eyes light up and she chews quickly. Then she takes another bite. “Who is Jessica Jones?” She asks. My grip tightens around my fork, I set it down.

“She was my first love. But no more asking about her, you said you wanted to learn about me,” I respond, steering her back toward our game. “Now, do you like London so far?” I ask.

“Yeah, the scenery is nice,” she says, still eating. She must be really hungry.

“Slow down a little darling! You’re going to make yourself sick,” I command, thrilled that she finally wants to eat something. She glares at me, but slows down.

“Why do you care about me?” She asks, looking me in the eyes. Is she serious?

“I told you, it’s because I have feelings for you and I want you to be happy. I know it may be hard for you to return that love, but in time you will. There’s something connecting us and it’s not like it was with Jessica. It’s new and I like it. Now, would you leave me if you could?” I ask.

“Yes,” she instantly replies. “Are you going force me to love you and stay with you?” She asks, gritting her teeth.

“Stay with me yes, but love me... Not if I can help it. I want your love to be genuine. What can I do to earn your affection?” I ask, before taking a long sip of wine. She hesitates, fighting her urge to answer my question honestly. Please don’t say nothing.

“Stop using your powers on me and don’t make me have sex with you,” she says. “What is it about me that you like so much?” She asks quickly after, her frustration clear in her tone.

“I like that you have powers just like I do. I like your eyes and your smile. I like your body and your defiance. No more questions from you, what do you like about me?” I reply.

“Really,” She says, sounding like a child. I could tell she wanted to ask something, but I ignored it.

“Yes,” I growl, irritated that she would say such a thing.

“Well...I guess you’re attractive,” she says, blushing a little. I smile.

“What else?” I press.

“You make me feel good about my self,” she says quietly.

“How so?” I continue.

“You say I’m beautiful and only one other person in my life has made me feel like I’m worth something,” she says, looking down. She really needs me. She needs me to make me feel good.

“River, listen to me, you are worth more than anyone,” I say, holding my hand out on the table. She takes it and lets me caress her knuckles with my thumb. I smile, she did that on her own. She can learn to love me. She just needs some guidance.

“Thank you,” she says quietly.

“You’re welcome darling, I like making you feel good,” I respond, squeezing her hand then releasing it so she can eat.

The rest of our meal is eaten in silence. She finishes pretty quickly, but I take my time enjoying the fantastic meal in front of me. She sips at her wine, looking thoughtful. At least she doesn’t have a drinking problem like Jessica. I finish my meal and the waitress comes back.

“Can I get you a desert menu to look at?” She asks, taking our plates away.

“No. Bring us the check,” I command. I promised River I would pay, so I will. 

“Right away sir,” she says, walking away. 

“Here you are,” says the waitress, handing us a black book containing the check. The meal costs around 35 pounds, so I give her 40. 

“Have a nice afternoon,” she says, scurrying off. I stand up and button my suit, then offer a hand to River. She looks at it for a second before taking it. She’s still fighting, it’s unbelievable. She winces as she stands up. “What is it?” I ask, knowing she has to answer honestly.

“My ribs are sore,” she responds. I remember the large bruise that I saw over them . I’ll make her feel better once we get to the hotel.

“You’ll be alright, we’re just going back to the hotel,” I say, leading her out to the car.

“Yea,” she agrees, getting in and moving to the opposite seat. I get in after her.

“Take us back to the hotel,” I command the driver. He pulls out of the parking space and starts driving. We’re going to have so much fun tonight. I’m going to show her what real sex is like. We will be true lovers tonight. I’ll make her enjoy it. But she said she doesn’t want to have sex with me. “River, do you want to have sex with me later?” I ask.

“No,” she responds quickly. Why doesn’t she if she likes it? She admitted it earlier. 

”Did you like the last time we had sex?” I ask.

“Kind of,” she says after a minute. Why won’t she just let herself enjoy it? 

“You want to have sex with me,” I say, guiding her back to me. People like what they enjoy, she likes it.

“Yea,” she says, her eyes glazing over.

“I’ll take care of you once we get to the hotel,” I promise. She shivers, probably from excitement. She wants this.

The rest of the car ride is silent. River looks out the window the whole time, probably wanting to see more of the city. We’ll go shopping and sight seeing tomorrow.

The car pulls up to the hotel and I get out, offering my hand down to River like always. She takes it and I lead her up to the room. She’s completely tense the whole time, not even relaxing once we enter the luxury bedroom.

“Just relax darling, you’re going to love this and stay quiet,” I say, sliding the coat off her arms. She lets me without a fight. Then, I pull her into a deep kiss. She lets me control it, but doesn’t kiss back. “You want to kiss me,” I growl. She suddenly starts kissing back with as much passion as me. My hand travels over her arse and I give it a playful squeeze. “You want to undress me,” I say, breathing heavy from the kiss and going back in for more.

She roughly pulls my jacket back and down my arms, then completely off. I smirk at her rough movements, she has obviously never done this before. Then, she does the same with my waistcoat and starts unbuttoning my shirt. She pulls it off in no time, then wraps her arms around my neck. My hands move under her dress and I’m reminded that I told her not to put her panties back on. I grab the bottom and lift it over her head, only stopping the kiss when the dress passes over her face. Her hands are back on me, undoing my belt and pants. I grin, she definitely wants it.

I unclip her bra and let it fall to the ground with the rest of the clothing. I work my hands up and down her back, tracing the scars that are there. She’s so beautiful.

“Your so gorgeous darling, I love your body. You’re not embarrassed,” I say as I feel her face heat up under my touch. I gently start to move us towards the bed which seems like a mile away when our lips never part. The backs Rivers knees finally bump against the frame. I move my hands under them and pull her up, wrapping her legs around my torso. Her grip around the back of my neck tightens to support her weight. She’s still feels too light.

I kneel on the bed and inch forward a little before falling forward, catching myself before I put all my weight on River. She unwraps her legs from around me, but is unable to close them because I’m kneeling in between. I finally break the kiss and move to her neck nipping and sucking so she’ll have dark hickys in the morning. I move to her nipples taking each in my mouth and sucking them to hardness. She makes weird sound above me. She’s holding back.

“Don’t hold back, I want to hear all the sounds you make,” I command, kissing her lips again. I move my hands down her body and easily find her entrance, grinning when feel my dry semen on the insides of her thighs. She’s dry. I don’t want to hurt her with my cock. 

“Get wet for me darling,” I command. I’m surprised that my new powers can actually make the human body do what I command it to. It’s amazing! For instance, I just commanded River to get wet and now she is. When I commanded Jessica too I had to work her up to it. Same with sleeping. When I tell River to sleep she goes to sleep immediately. Jessica would lay down, close her eyes, and fall asleep in minutes.

A loud moan disrupts my thoughts. Her pupils are dilated and she looks surprised. I realize that I must of finally found her g spot. I easily add another finger and gently press on it, causing River to moan again. The sound hits my half hard length, making it fully harden. She’s already stretched from before lunch so I easily add a third finger, making her squirm and preparing her properly.

“Stay still,” I command. Her body goes limp beneath me and I take my fingers out, cleaning her juices off them with my tongue. A look of curiosity passes over her face. She wants to ask something. “You may ask one question,” I say, kissing her neck. She hesitates.

“You really love me don’t you?” She asks quietly.

“Yes darling, we’ve been through this,” I respond, slowly entering her. She whimpers and throws her head back. Once I am fully engulfed in her warmth I give her a minute to adjust to my length.  “Relax River, it will feel better if you do,” I recommend. I feel her inner walls relax around me immediately, her whole body somehow unwinds even more on the bed. “Good girl,” I praise, slowly starting to move in and out of her. There’s a million emotions playing across her face right now and I find that I can’t really distinguish all of them. 

She groans and presses her eyes shut. She tries to say something but it just sounds like a weird croak. I ignore it and kiss her. She kisses back and I move my hips faster causing her to whimper in my mouth. She’s not enjoying this, but she said she liked having sex with me earlier. She’s just confused. 

“You know you like this, it makes you feel good,” I encourage. She withers beneath me and moans when I hit her g spot again on purpose. It feels so good. She’s so hot and tight around my cock, I find myself moaning as her walls squeeze my cock perfectly. I feel my release building inside me. I want to go faster, but I want her to get used to sex. That was a plus with Jessica, she liked sex rough and fast, like I do. 

“Cum River!” I command. I feel her release and that makes me cum. I collapse on top of her, my cock still buried inside her. Her whole body is shuddering and she looks exhausted. 

I grin at her innocence, she has no sex stamina at all. She pretty much passed out after last time. I gently pull out and kiss her. She tiredly kisses back. It’s working, she’s beginning to like me. I get off of her and lay down next to her, surprised that she stays in the same position. She turns her head towards me and her tired, glazed over eyes meet mine.

Pain, she looks like she’s in pain. The way she’s looking at me is pathetic. She’s begging for something. Oh, I told her not to move.

“You can move now,” I say gently. She curls on her side with her back facing me and starts to sob. I can see the divots in her spine as she heaves. 

“Hey, it’s okay,” I say, stroking her shuddering back. The poor girl is obviously spent. “Let me comfort you River,” I say, wanting to make her feel better. She deserves to be happy. 

She turns around and nestles her head in the crook of my neck, still crying. “Just let it out darling,” I say, continuing to rub her back. What did she say about crying? It helps her release her emotions or something like that? Better this then exercise. She’s still way to skinny for my liking.

Her shuddering lessens and her breathing evens out over a while. She cried herself to sleep. I’ll let her sleep since she’s exhausted. I gently slide out from under her and start to get dressed. She deserves a reward for being so good and I have the perfect thing in mind.


	9. Controlled(River’s POV)

“River, wake up,” Kilgrave commands softly, forcing me out of my sleep. I groan and turn on my back. Everything hurts. I feel like how I used to feel after father beat me. My whole body aches. I try to say something, but I can’t form words. He’s sitting on the bed, smiling down at me. Just let me sleep. My stomach is in twisting in pain.

“Hey darling, how’d you sleep?” He asks, stroking my shoulder.

_I like it when he touches me_

I try to respond but I can’t. He told me to stay quiet. He notices and rolls his eyes.

“You can talk now,” he says, sounding annoyed.

_Answer truthfully_

“Good,” I respond, my voice heavy with weariness. Just give me a couple more hours. Shoot, I cried to him. I actually cried. He raped me again! He violated me.

“Good, now go clean up and get dressed in a dress. I have a present for you,” he commands. I sigh and sit up, wincing at my sore ribs, hole, and stomach. He raped me twice today. Twice I let myself be controlled by him. It felt different the second time. He was gentle, kind, and actually felt good, even if I didn’t want it. I wish it can be like that every time, I may not mind sex with him if there’s more pleasure then pain, even if I don’t want it.

I roll out of bed and walk into the bathroom. I can feel his gaze on my naked body, but

_I’m not embarrassed._

I start the shower and put my hair up in a high bun to avoid getting it wet. I only need to wash him off my body. My stomach hurts a lot, I really hope he didn’t seriously hurt me. I clean his dried semen off the insides of my thighs and as throughly as I can and try to make sure my insides are clean. I’m able to see a little blood running down my legs and down the drain of the shower. Something clicks in my head. My stomach pain and the blood, I must have started my period.

In the moment it’s almost a great revaluation. I’m not pregnant with some Hell spawn and surely he won’t want to rape me when I’m bloody. Shit, I’ll have to ask him for tampons. I cringe at the thought, I actually have to ask him for this. I stay under the warm water for a minute longer before turning it off.

I wrap myself in a towel and peer out into the hotel room. He’s changing into a different suit. How many does he go through a day? I clear my throat to get his attention. I try to ask for some, but nothing comes out.

_No more questions_

“I need tampons,” I quietly state, my face burning with humiliation. I’m glad that the room is dark, maybe he can’t see my blush.

“Really darling, you decide to start now?” He scowls.

“Well I’m sorry! It’s not like I can control it!” I exclaim. Wow, he’s such a prick.

“Under the sink,” he grumbles. What? How could he know that I started it? Hotels don’t have this stuff regularly.

“Thanks,” I say, awkwardly closing the door and looking under the sink. Sure enough, a brand new pack is there. That’s weird.

I quickly put one in and then get dressed in panties and a bra so he won’t get mad. Then, I look in the closet to see more dresses. Dear Lord, what is wrong with this man?! Is it illegal for me to wear pants or something?! I sigh, knowing I have to get dressed in a dress because he commanded me to and not because I want to.

I find the least obnoxious skin showing dress I can and slip it on. Next, I look in the mirror. I look thinner and tired with dark hickeys dotting my collar bones and chest. The dress is mid thigh length and sleeveless. It was either floor length or this, I sigh at my options. Can I really choose anything? The dress dips down in a V shape at the front and the top looks like is wrapped around my torso until it hits a thin white belt that wraps around my hips. It’s adds a nice contrast to the dark purple material the dress is made of. Unfortunately, the color makes the bags under my eyes more prominent. It’s probably from stress and exhaustion, I can’t focus either. Everything seems to be blending together, I feel empty.

I’m disrupted from my thoughts when I hear the bathroom door open. I stay still as he walks in.

_I want to kiss him like I love him, I want to undress him._

He walks up behind me and smirks.

“You look fabulous darling, but you forgot to brush your hair. Here, let me do it for you,” He says, picking up a comb off the counter. I stay still,

_I want to kiss him, I want to undress him, I have to let him brush my hair._

He starts at the top and runs the comb through my hair, gently taking out tangled areas. He’s done this before. The thought hits me. Who has he done this to? Jessica? This is so wrong. He’s sick. He finishes and kisses the top of my head, then he spins me around so were chest to chest and kisses me on the lips. I kiss eagerly back,

_I want to kiss him like I love him. I want to undress him._

My hands go to the his shirt and I start unbuttoning it. He pushes me away, causing my back to hit the sink.

“Easy darling. You don’t want to undress me anymore,” he says, smirking. My need completely goes away. No, that wasn’t me.

“I don’t want to undress you anymore,” I repeat. Everything feels so far away. What is happening? 

“Come on, you have a present to open my dear,” He says, holding my hand and pulling me out of the bathroom.

_I like it when he controls me._

He leads me out onto a deck then goes back inside. I shiver from the cold. What is the present? I hope it’s a coat. He comes back out carrying a small, purple velvet box with a black bow on it.

“You’ll love this darling! I picked it out just for you,” He says, handing me the box with a wide smile on his face. It must be jewelry judging from the size and box. I unwrap the bow and open the box, holding back a gasp. It’s a silver chained necklace with a heart shaped pendant on it. The pendant was a light purple in the middle and lighter on the sides.

_I love it._

“What do you think darling?” He asks, looking like he actually cares about what I think.

_Answer honestly._

“It’s amazing, wh-“ I stutter.

 _No more questions_.

“Wh-“ I try again. I sigh and look down, examining the neckless closely.

“What is it now?” He asks sounding annoyed again.

_Answer honestly_

“I can’t ask you anything,” I state. I hate him so much. He sighs and practically rolls his eyes,

“You may ask questions and speak freely now,” he says. This is his fault, why is he mad at me? 

“Why did you get me a necklace?” I ask.

“Because I wanted to. You like it when I get you things,” he says casually. I feel his fingers strike across my jaw line and move a stray piece of hair from out of my face. I don’t think, my body automatically flinches back like he shocked me. I hate it when he touches me, even though

_I like touching him._

He takes a deep and closes his eyes.

“Why... why are you still afraid of me?” He asks in a low voice, shaking slightly. Oh shit, he’s angry isn’t he?

_Answer honestly_

“Because you can control me and I hate it when people touch me!” I respond.

“I’ve given you everything and you’re still scared of me! I’m trying here! I’m trying to take care of you and give you things. What else do you want?!” He yells, flailing his arms all about.

“I want you to leave me alone! I hate you and...”

_I like when he controls me._

“Arg! I can’t even say what I want to because you made me think different. It’s wrong. No one should be able to control a person like you do. Free will is what makes us human and you rip it away and throw it under a bus!” I yell. I feel the metal in the building and in the cars below, I could kill him.

_Don’t use your powers._

He stopped me again and he didn’t even have to say anything. His commands stopped me.

“Shut up and get inside,” he says lowly, gritting his teeth. I find my mouth glued shut and my body moving to get inside. He’s going to kill me. Or make me kill myself like he did to that man. “Go to the corner and only think about how much you want to suck me off. You need my cock in your mouth and going down your throat and don’t move,” he commands.

_I want to suck him off, I need his cock in my mouth and going down my throat._ _I want to suck him off, I need his cock in my mouth and going down my throat._

My mouth waters and I remember when he made me do it before. I enjoyed it, I wanted it.

_I want it. I need it._

Please make him come back.

_I need his cock._

_I need him._

Two hours later....

I’m dying.

_I need his cock._

My breath is shallow, my mouth watering. I’ve spent so long waiting.

_I want him. I need his cock._

Please please let him come back soon. I feel tears of desperation roll down my face.

_I want to suck him off, I need his cock in my mouth and going down my throat._

I should have been good! He wouldn’t have done this to me if I was good for him.

_I need his cock in my mouth_

One more hour later....

I’m beyond exhausted and trembling. My entire body is shaking like I’m cold or having a seizer. My breath is coming out in weak rasps and I have no more tears left due to dehydration.

_I need him_

It feels like days have gone by. It’s been days. How can he just leave me here like this? When he comes, I’m going to suck him off harshly so it will hurt.

_I need him._

I hate him.

_I want to suck him off, I need his cock in my mouth and going down my throat._

I suddenly hear the elevator chime open and the sound of footsteps nearing the room. Please be him. Please, please, please.

I hear the hotel door opening and try to turn around only to find my body cemented in place like a statue. I listen and find his regular heart beat, it’s him.

_Don’t move._

“Turn around,” He commands. My body turns towards him and I realize how much

_I want to suck him off and how much I need his cock in my mouth and going down my throat._

My vision blurs with desire, let me suck you off so this can stop.

He gives a low whistle, “Darling, honestly tell me why you made me punish you,” he commands.

“B-because I yelled at you,” I quietly state. I feel my pulse in my ears, please let me move.

“And?” He says, crossing his arms like a brat. What else?!

“Um... because I’m scared of you?” I say, praying it’s right.

“You know I don’t want to hurt you and I know you don’t want to hurt me,” he says, looking as serious as ever.

“Please,” I croak, shaking with desire.

“Tell me what you want,” he says, smirking.

“I want to suck you off, I need your cock in my mouth and going down my throat. Please let me!” I beg like a whore. I physically need it.

“I said that?” He says, looking a little concerned.

“Yes, please let me suck you off. I need your clock in my mouth and going down my throat,” I say, tears leaking from my eyes again. _I want it so badly._

“Come on then,” he says, unzipping his zipper. I sprint over and get on my knees in-front of him. I have his cock in my mouth in only a few seconds after the command was spoken.

_I want this, I need this._

I take him all the way down, causing myself to gag and almost vomit. A feeling of relief and fulfillment washes over me along with an urge to puke.

_I need it down my throat._

Killgrave groans from above me and he is fully hard within around 5 seconds of being in my mouth. I’ve been waiting so long for this. I gag again,

_I need his cock down my throat._

Don’t throw up.

“River,” he groans, putting his hands on my shoulders. His cock grows more and I know that he is close. I still need him. He runs his hands through my hair, pulling it out of my face for me and efficiently having a place to control my head movements.

He guides my head up and down on his cock, using my hair to control the movements. He forces himself down my throat making me gag again and cums. I instinctively swallow and continue gently sucking him off.

He releases my hair and gently pushes me back on the floor. I fall, landing hard on my elbows. 

_I want to suck him off, I need his cock in my mouth and going down my throat._

I stay where he put me on the ground, knowing if I had to suck him off again my stomach would lose what little contents it had. I let out a whimper as I realize that /p>

_I need him._

I look up at him to find him smirking down on my pathetic state.

“It’s alright darling, you don’t want to suck me off anymore or... what was that other part?” He rhetorically asks. “Oh yea, you don’t need my cock in your mouth and going down your throat,” he finishes. Everything sharpens. My vision and my thoughts. What did I just do?! I feel my stomach twist, here it comes.

I stand on weak legs and sprint to the bathroom, completely ignoring my captor for the moment. I make it to the toilet just in time to dispel my stomach’s contents. He is by my side in a second, pulling my hair back again. It makes me vomit a second time. I dry heave a couple of times until I finally feel done. My throat is incredibly dry and I realize that I have to pee really badly. I couldn’t think about it before this so it wasn’t an issue.

Tears of humiliation roll down my cheeks,

I wanted to suck him off, I needed his cock in my mouth and going down my throat.

I shouldn’t have yelled at him like I did, he wouldn’t have done this. It’s my fault, I have to be careful with him. I need to treat him like father.

“Are you all right River?” He asks gently. Now he cares. I should yell at him again.

_Answer honestly_

“I’m tired,” I croak, the horrible taste of bile in my mouth. True... ish. I stand up and flush the toilet.

“We should go to bed then, tomorrow we’re sight seeing,” he says, stepping back and letting me wash my hands. I’m not able to meet his eyes. I feel so helpless. How is he okay with what he just did to me? With what he just made me do? I need to workout. Maybe I can make a deal.  
  
“If I start eating more will you let me workout?” I suddenly ask, still keeping my eyes casually low. He sighs,

“Really? You want to get into this now?” He snarks.

_Answer honestly_

“No,” I respond, I’m too tired to argue anymore.

“Good, we’ll talk about it tomorrow. For now just get ready for bed,” He says, kissing my forehead and leaving the bathroom.

As soon as he’s gone I relieve myself and switch my tampon. Then, I take off the dress stained with my tears and change into one of the stupid lacy tops he got me and some shorts. Next, I exit the bathroom, not even looking for him and get under the covers.

A few minutes later I feel his weight settle besides me and an arm wrap around my stomach pulling me closer to him.

“Don’t try to escape tonight and sleep until I tell you to wake up,” he whispers in my ear, sending a shiver down my spine. The next thing I know, I fall asleep.


	10. Control (Killgrave’s POV)

What am I doing? I close my eyes and try to get some sleep. River is sleeping heavily next to me and I listen to her even breathing. She’s so beautiful. I pull her limp body closer to me and inhale the sweet scent of her hair.

I shouldn’t have left her like I did for so long. I was not prepared to find her in that state when I went back into the room. She was shaking and the front of her dress was wet with tears. Exactly how much more powerful am I than before? She looked like a starving woman who was looking at a grand feast, but was not able to eat it. The newest dose of the power enhancement drugs must have effected my temper. I’ll have to talk to dear old dad about that.

I desperately try to sleep but find that I am not tired. She makes a soft sound then rolls over and snuggles into my bare chest. I smirk, she likes to cuddle. I run my hand up and down her back, she still needs to gain weight. She suddenly shivers and nestles in closer, stealing my body heat as I steal hers. What is she dreaming about?

“You’re safe here River, have good dreams,” I whisper in her ear. Why do I love her so much? Because I want her but she doesn’t want me. I sigh and look down on the sleeping woman against my chest. She has so many secrets, but I’m waiting for her to tell me. I’m being patient. I’m being strong for her.

I finally start to feel the effects the day had on me. My eye lids feel heavy and I fall asleep, thinking of her.

I wake up feeling warm. River is still pressed to my body and tucked safely under my arm. I kiss the top of her head and untangle my limbs from hers before rolling out of bed. Next, I go into the bathroom and take a long shower. She won’t wake up until I tell her too or the command wears off. Maybe I’m commanding her too much. Jessica didn’t like it when I controlled her, not that I could most recently. She is probably going to try and find me again to finish what she started. I wonder how River managed to beat her? I’ll have to ask later. 

I turn off the water and step out, drying my hair and body. Then, I dress in a suit and leave the bedroom. Dialing the number for room service, I wait for someone to answer.

“Good morning, how....”

“Bring us fresh breakfast for two and make it fast,” I command, before hanging up. I plop down on the couch and turn on the television to watch football. After about 10 minutes I hear a knock on the door. It’s about time.

“Come in,” I yell. The door opens to reveal a young man pushing a cart with our breakfast on it. “Go and set it up on the table,” I command, getting off the couch.

I stroll back into the bedroom and sit on the edge of the bed, just watching River sleep for a few minutes. She looks so innocent, her face unguarded, so different from when she’s awake. Maybe I should give her some free time, I mean she asked for it. How can I trust her no to do anything stupid? I can’t. I know that she’s waiting for me to slip, just like Jessica did. But, when I wake her up she won’t have any commands to follow because it’s been more than 10 hours. I have a clean slate.

I continue staring at her for a few minutes, I’ll try not commanding her as much today and see how that goes. 

“Wake up darling,” I say, stroking her cheek. Her eyes flicker open and she groans, obviously wanting to sleep more. I smirk at her cuteness in the mornings. Her whole body suddenly tenses and jerks away from my hand as she realizes I’m touching her. “Relax,” I command her. She relaxes, glaring daggers at me. How do I make her react to me this way? Probably from the punishment last night. I didn’t mean to leave her like that for so long.

“Breakfast is ready, you should come out once you’ve cleaned up,” I say, letting her sit up. I didn’t command her on purpose, I’ll let her choose. So without another word, I leave the room.

I stay by the door for a minute with my ear pressed up to it. Eventually, I hear her shuffling around and smile, she’s choosing to eat with me. I sit at the table and pick up the newspaper they brought with breakfast, which is nicely spread across the table.

A few minutes later I hear the bedroom door creak open and close. I see her sit across from me and put down my news paper. She’s wearing a dress that shows off the now light hickeys across her collar bones, neck, and chest. I smile, she’s so gorgeous.

“Go ahead and eat darling. You must be famished after last night,” I say, remembering her vomiting.

“Fine,” she says harshly, loading food on her plate. She’s angry, but at least she’s eating. “I want new cloths,” she suddenly says. 

“Then we’ll go shopping today,” I respond cooly. 

“No! I don’t want anymore dresses. If you’re going to force me to stay with you, I want to be comfortable,” she says. I smirk, she’s pushing it today.

“Fine, answer me honestly from now on. Will that make you happy?” I ask. A little command won’t hurt.

“It will make me happier,” she responds with a snark. She takes a slow bite of food then tops it with another quicker one. She probably threw up anything she had in her stomach last night.

“And what kind of cloths would you like?” I ask, taking a sip of hot tea. It tastes more bitter than usual, but that’s expected because it’s hotel tea.

“Jeans, shirts, and sports bras,” she replies. I give her a stern look. “Look, if-if you want me to be happier with you, then you have to let me make some decisions about my life,” She hurries, sounding scared. She’s being honest. That’s the way I can make her happy.

“I don’t have to do anything! I guess I do want you to be happy with me so it’s a fair trade, for now,” I reply, rolling my eyes. Oh, I should probably give her some rules before we go out. “River, I know you won’t like this, but I need some security that you’ll stay with me,” I start.

“You’re going to control me aren’t you?” She asks quietly, looking down. I hate how hurt she looks. If only I could trust her.

“No... Well, not fully. We just need a few ground rules. I wish I didn’t have to do this, but you have a record. You can not harm me in anyway, you can’t use your powers or draw attention to us, you can not try to escape, and when in public, you can only be 4 feet away from me at most.” She gives me a dark look. “Say what’s on your mind,” I command her, taking another sip of tea.

“You are such a hypocrite! You say you love me than you control me. That’s what you love. You love to control others. You love your power, the sound of your own insufferable voice. Without that, I could learn to like you. I mean you’re freaking gorgeous and I still don’t understand how you could love someone like me, but you’re a control freak! I only ask that you not have sex with me or control me. Two simple requests! Why can’t you understand that? Lord! Now you commanded me to tell you whatever I’m thinking. Don’t you think that’s a little extreme! No other person should be able to hear every thought in someone’s else’s head..” 

“Okay. Stop. I don’t want to control you, but I cannot not use my powers. We need to build trust before I let you roam free with me. What guarantee do I have that you won’t try to hurt me if I don’t tell you not to?” I ask, knowing that she will answer honestly. I yawn,suddenly feeling tired.

“None,” she says quietly.

“Exactly. And would you hurt me or escape if you had the chance?”

“Yes,” she responds. I sigh. I’m trying so hard.

“Oh, you’re still sour about the punishment aren’t you? Look, I really didn’t mean it. I was just angry,” I explain, tiredly.

“You were just angry. You were JUST angry!? I was dying. For hours it felt like I was dying. I couldn’t think about anything besides how much I needed your stupid dick! I couldn’t move, I could barely breathe! I couldn’t stop crying. I was scared that you would leave me to die. I was so alone. Then, when you came in... Oh when you came in, I wanted it so much. My world was desire. Do you want to know the worst part? It wasn’t the blow job. The worst part was that I didn’t want any of it. You forced me to want it, to need it. And why are you being so damn calm about this?! I said stuff like this last night, then you almost killed me. Now your just sitting there? What the hell is going on?” She yells. It must be her hormones.

“You’re right,” I respond cooly. If this is going to work, then I need to treat her like I treated Jessica. I need to be nice, to be understanding.

“Wha... What?” She stammers, obviously shocked.

“You’re right. I never know, I never know if someone is doing what I tell them to or what they want to,” I say. What’s wrong with me? Why am I suddenly being so open? I feel my eyes staring to close. Drugs. Someone drugged me. “Sorry about this, but kill anyone who attempts to take me,” I say, before fading out of reality and into unconsciousness.

When I wake, my head is pounding. I pick my head up off the table and look around. I’m still in the hotel and it looks like it’s mid afternoon outside. Where is River?

“River,” I drowsily bellow. That’s when I see the bodies. There are 4 all around the room, blood everywhere. Then, I see River. She’s on her back, her breathing shallow. She’s been shot and beat up pretty badly. I get up and walk towards her, my vision blurry. Her dress is soaked in blood, more leaking from a whole in her thigh.

“I- I killed them,” she wheezes.

“Good job darling, just sleep,” I command. Her eyes close. I need to call David, he will heal her again. I pull my phone out of my jacket pocket and dial his number.

“Y-yes?” He answers on the second ring.

“Get your arse to the hotel right now!” I say, then hang up. I rub my temples, my headache now a dull throb. I gently scoop up River and put her on the bed. Her wound is still heavily bleeding. I peal the dress off of her body to find she’s covered in bruises. Her breathing pattern changes and she opens her eyes again.

“Get away,” she weakly croaks, trying and failing to sit up. I wince at the amount of pain she has in her voice, even when she’s in his state, she still resents me.

“Relax, you’re safe here. You trust me,” I cox, watching the tension dissipate from her beaten body.

“I-I killed them,” she whispers, her face morphing into an expression of horror.

“It doesn’t matter darling, it only matters that you’re okay. I’ve called the healer from last time, he’ll make sure that you’ll heal properly,” I say, sitting next to her on the bed.

“It hurts. Need to stop the bleeding,” she gasps.

“How?” I question.

“Get a towel and apply pressure,” she says. I run into the bathroom and get a towel. Coming back, I fold the towel in half long ways. Then, as gently as I can I start to wrap it. “No. Bullets still in,” she says.

“Then take it out,” I command.

“Please let me use my powers,” she begs, looking like she’ll pass out soon.

“Fine,” I grunt back. She brings her hand up and over her wound. She makes pained sounds until I see a blood soaked bullet fly into her hand. Then, she passes out. I sigh and wrap her leg the best I can. I hear a knock at the door and go to answer it. David is standing outside shaking like a leaf. “She was shot in the leg, go heal her,” I command. He moves past me and goes into the bedroom.

“She- She’s sleeping,” he states, unwrapping her leg.

“Yes. So?” I ask, sitting in an arm chair next to the bed. He places a shaky hand on her forehead.

“Don’t hurt her anymore,” he says.

“I have never hurt her,” I reply. I love her.

“She has phycological damage too. You-you hurt her mind,” He replies, placing a hand over her wound. She groans and the wound slowly starts to close. “This will take a few minutes, it’s really deep,” he says, sitting with her on the bed.  
  
“You imbecile. I would never hurt her,” I scowl.

“L-Listen Kevin. We-we’ve been friends since you f-found me at-at the facility. You-You use your p-power to h-hurt people and-and in her mind she is hurt,” he says. I take a deep breath, unable to kill him. He is my only ‘friend’, if that’s what he calls it.

“Fine, fix that too then,” I grumble.

“I-I can’t, on-only you can,” He says, removing his hand. Underneath there’s only smooth skin, no trace of what happened. I sigh and pinch the bridge of my nose. “Wh-where did you f-find her?” He asks hesitantly, placing a hand on her forehead. He’s the only other man that I’ll ever let touch her.

“New York. She used her powers to save people,” I respond, remembering the way I felt when I first saw her.

“You-you know she’s s-sick right?” He asks.

“Sick? And for gods sake stop stuttering,” I command, tired of hearing it. He glares at me.

“Yes, she sees herself bigger than she is,” he says slowly. That explains a lot.

“Can you fix that?” I snark.

“Yes. I was surprised to get your call though. When did you get to London?” He asks. Oh, I told him to forget our first meeting. 

“Yesterday,” I groan. It’s only been two days. Two days! I move River under the covers and lead David out of the room.

“Who were these guys?” He questions, kicking one of the bodies.

“I don’t know, but I’m going to find out,” I reply, searching one of their jackets for anything useful. I find his wallet and start searching through it. I don’t find anything on any of them. Who are they and how do they know about me? Time to talk to dad again. 


	11. Empty (Rivers POV)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry y’all, this is a super long chapter and Killgrave has excessive mood swings and opinion changes. I just started writing and it turned out like this. Hope y’all enjoy..

I tiredly roll over and open my eyes. I’m met with the sight of the large vanity over the bed. Wait, I was shot. I feel my thigh to find it healed and realize that I’m only wearing my bra and underwear. He undressed me. I sit up to find it’s dark outside. Where’s Killgrave?

Slowly rolling out of bed, I wrap myself in the sheet and go into the living room. I nearly scream as I see the 4 bodies around the room. I killed them. The scream is caught in my throat. 

_Don’t draw attention_

No! I’m still under his control! Sliding down against the wall, I rest my forehead against my knees. I killed them. I did this. I took human lives. I feel tears gather and fall from my eyes.

“Nice job bitch, now you’re just like me,” father whispers in my ear.

“No! You’re dead,” I snivel, knowing that he cannot be here.

“And who do I have to thank for that? Huh bitch?” He sneers, leaning against the wall, glaring down me.

“It was an accident,” I reply, raking my hands through my hair. I didn’t mean to hurt them.

“It doesn’t matter! How many lives does this make now? Five. You’ve killed 5 people,” he says.

“He made me,” I reply. He made me. It wasn’t me. It was Killgrave. I wipe my face, stand up, and go back into the bedroom.

When did he command me last? It was breakfast, that was around 10. The digital alarm clock on the counter reads 7:43pm. I have 17 more minutes until I’m free, but that’s only if his commands last for 10 hours like he said. I have to hurry if I want to leave before he gets back.

I need to leave. He made me kill, took my virginity, forced me to come to London, and forced me to give him a blowjob. I change my tampon and get a dress to wear since it’s the only option I have. Where will I go? I don’t know anyone in London. I need money too. Is it even the same currency?! I glance at the clock again, I have 12 minutes to go.

I stop dead in my tracks when I see myself in the mirror. I look like a skeleton with skin! What the hell? When did I get so skinny?! I need to eat. My stomach growls, agreeing with me. I go to the kitchen, trying to ignore the bodies and eat some complementary snacks I find from the hotel.

I start searching his suit case in hopes of finding money or something valuable to sell for money. I only find suits and a few watches. I take the most expensive looking watch and put it on my wrist for safe keeping. They probably have pawn shops or something like it over here. I check the time, only 10 minutes.

Where is he? Killgrave would not leave me alone unless something major happened. I haven’t been able to get any space since we’ve got here. He’s been breathing down my neck since yesterday, when we arrived. How long have I been with him? I strain to remember.

The last few days are a little fuzzy in my memory, but maybe a week? I’ve only known this man for a couple of days and I’m already going crazy. Father cannot be here, he died. I watched him die.

_“Sorry,” Joe says as he wraps my wrist and I wince._

_“I can’t fight him,” I cry. He’s going to kill me. Joe pulls me into a hug and rubs my back soothingly. He’s the only one who ever cared about me besides G._

_“I know, which is why I’m looking into becoming a foster parent,” he says. I jerk back and stare at him._

_“You-You would foster me?” I stammer._

_“Of course River, I’d take Georgia too,” he says. I start crying again,_

_“Thank you,” I whisper._

_“Well, well, well, what do we have here?” I cringe at the voice of my father. “No one’s allowed to touch her but me,” he says, entering the locker-room. What is he doing here?! Joe’s expression goes blank and he stands up._

__

_“My name is Joe Brown and I’m River’s swim coach,” he says, extending his hand. How is he so cool about this?_

__

_“John, I’m River’s father,” He says, returning the shake._

_“We were just talking about her injury, it’s a shame that she fell down the stairs,” Joe says._

_“Yea, the kid is pretty clumsy,” he says, coming towards me. I shudder._

_“How long do you think she’ll be out for? She’s a great swimmer you know,” Joe says._

_“She’ll be fine in a couple days, she’s a quick healer. Isn’t that right sweetie?” He says, pulling me to my feet. His arm slides around my waist and we face Joe again. He knows. He knows I told Joe about the abuse. No._

_“Yes sir,” I reply, lowering my gaze. BAM! A loud blast fills the room, making my ears ring. I look to the side to see father holding a gun, it’s pointed towards... No! It’s pointed towards Joe. I turn to see Joe laying on the ground, his face a bloody mess where he was shot._

_“No!!!” I scream, running over to him. I cradle his mutilated face on my knees, tears screaming down my face._

_“His death is on you bitch! You couldn’t keep quiet, could you?” He yells, kicking me in the back. I suddenly see everything in red. I feel everything around me, the lockers and the gun we’re like extensions of me. I stand up and throw father across the room by his belt. He did this. He slams into the lockers, which I want to fall on top of him. They fall from the wall, pinning him to the ground._

_“You killed him!” I scream, pure rage and hate flowing through my veins. I pick up the gun from the floor and even though I have no idea how to hold it, I mimic the way he held it. My finger rests on the trigger and I shoot. The kickback makes me take a step back, but I keep shooting until there are no bullets left. I don’t look at him, but turn around and look at Joe. He’s dead._

Suddenly, I’m back in the hotel room. I continue to cry until I can’t anymore. I can’t keep having attacks like that, they’re to real. I pick myself up off the floor and march to the door. Putting my hand on the doorknob, I twist. I can leave. I pull the door all the way open and step out of the room. For the first time in days, I feel completely free. My thoughts are my own, no ones controlling me.

I close the door and suddenly hear the elevator chime. He’s here. I sprint to the end of the hall and open the door to the stair well, starting my decent. After a while, I finally hit the bottom and take the exit into the parking garage. I’m free. I run out into the open and shiver. I should have grabbed a coat... to late now. I start walking down the empty street I the opposite direction of the hotel.

“River!? Stop. What the bloody hell do you think your doing?” Killgrave yells from behind me. I stand frozen in my tracks, no! I was so close. It’s not fair! “Come here,” he commands, his words surrounding me and pulling me back into the deep purple fog. He’s more powerful. Somehow he’s more powerful. He is standing next to the car we came in at the hotel entrance. No! My body starts moving towards him, I’m trapped now. “River, where were you going?” He asks, tapping his foot impatiently. I don’t answer. “Tell me where you were going,” he commands this time. Im struggling to keep my head above the fog.

“Away from you,” I snarl. His face shifts for a moment and he looks.. hurt? No, that’s impossible. He has no empathy and doesn’t know how to love.

“Tell me why,” he says, looking angry now. His gaze darkens, he’s definitely mad. Maybe he’ll kill me. It’s better than staying with him forever. I’ll provoke him.

“Are you deaf you stupid piece of shit? I’ve told you already! You raped me, made me kill people, made me hurt myself, and control my thoughts. Now I’m seeing my dead father! I can’t do this anymore! Your killing me,” I yell, tears running down my face. There it is, I’m crying in front of my kidnapper and rapist. He looks angry as hell though. This is it, this is where I’ll die.

“You never appreciate anything I do for you! I’m doing this for us. I’m trying to be nice and understanding and all that other shite women need,” He replies.

“Well you need to try harder, because I’m not seeing any difference,” I yell right back. Just kill me already.

“Follow me,” he roars, going into the hotel. I follow him in, having no choice but to obey. We take the elevator down to the bottom floor and get off. I smell my favorite smell as the door opens, chlorine. We go into a different room with a regular sized pool in it.

“Wha-“

“Shut up and take off the dress,” he snaps. I slip the dress off, leaving me in my bra and panties. “Give me the dress and get into the pool,” he says. I give him the dress and get in, the water coming to my belly button. Drowning will be a tough way to leave the world. “Tell me what your fastest race time is,” he commands. I gulp.

“26.50 is my 50 freestyle P.R,” I reply. I haven’t swam in weeks, there’s no way I could make it now. He pulls out his phone. “Do it, go now,” he commands. Without goggles and a swim cap I won’t be able to beat it.

I duck under, welcoming the coolness of the water and push off of the wall in streamline. I can do this. I get to the surface and start to sprint, counting my strokes since I don’t have goggles to see the wall. 15.. 16... Flip. I do a decent flip turn at the wall and start sprinting the home stretch. I imagine people in the lane next to me and push myself, the next thing I know, my hand slams into the side. It marks my finish and makes me wince. I stand up, my chest heaving. I’m out of shape.

“29.8,” He says from behind me, looking unimpressed. He’s sitting in a chair now. “Go again,” he commands. I manage to take a deep breath before my body does as its told and goes for another sprint piece. My breathing is much worse this time, but my flip turn is better. That should drop some time. My hand gently comes into the wall this time and I sit back, lacing my hands above my head to open my lungs.

“28.9,” He says. “Let’s make this a game,” he continues, as cold as ever. “Come in now,” he yells. The hotel clerk walks on the deck, looking terrified. “Now, every time you go over 28 seconds, he will cut off a finger,” Kilgrave says. I feel my jaw drop and tie my hair back quickly before he makes me go again. I try to even out my breathing. “Go,” He commands.

My head goes under and the cycle repeats, this time I put my heart into it. This man will not die because of me. I push myself harder than I thought was possible. My hand touches the wall.

“27.3,” He says. He hands his phone to another man I just notice. “River, you will obey this man when he tells you to go. I’ll be back shortly,” he says, walking away. How long will I have to do this? “Oh and if he dies then another one will come in,” Kilgrave says, before closing the door and leaving us alone.

“Go,” The man says, sounding terrified. I start swimming again. I can slow a little from last time but not much. I have to conserve energy, Lord only knows how long I’ll have to do this. My hand hits the wall.

“28.1,” He says quietly. The man groans as he cuts off a finger, I fight the urge to vomit. He did that because of me. “Go,” I start again, this time really pushing myself as I did before.

“27.4” I try to catch my breath. “Go,” I start again.

“27.8,” I suck in lung fulls of air. “Go,” I go again.

“27.9,” I keep my eyes closed. “Go,”

By the tenth one the man is still only down to one finger. By the twentieth he has seven fingers left and I’m wheezing. I lose count after that, my only goal to breath and not let this man or anyone else after him not have fingers for the rest of their life. My hand hits the wall for what seems like the 100th time.

“27.9,” the man says. I’m wheezing, seeing black spots dance in front of my eyes. “Go,” I go again.

My body is in a ball of pain, my only goal now is to stay conscience and not let the man lose anymore fingers. He hasn’t taken another one since my 16th lap. It’s been so long now. Smack! My hand hits the wall.

“27.8,” says a voice from somewhere around me. I’m going to pass out soon if I keep this up. Where’s Killgrave? “Go,” Another round of torture.

“27.9,” I made it. My breaths are shallow and my muscles shaking from exhaustion. I start to cough, my throat needing some real water that’s not laced with chlorine. I hear the sound of a door opening but am to tired to look back. “Go,”

“28.0,” barely. Point 1 more seconds and he would have lost another finger. My shallow breaths are now audible wheezes. Please let me stop. I try to beg but find I am unable to form words. “Go,”

I don’t know where I am. I only know swimming and the voice. “27.9,” it says, something deep within me tells me that that’s okay. “Go,” I go again.

“28.0” It says. I’m going to die, I’ll die saving him. I’m so tired. “G-“

“Stop,” says another voice. My body stops, my breathing ragged and audible. I’m going to die. “Get out,” commands the voice. With my eyes still closed, I manage to somehow roll out of the pool and on my back. “Get up,” it says. Why am I listening to it? Is it God? Will I go to heaven or hell now? My exhausted body has to try a few times before it props itself up on.. what are they called again? Oh, feet.

I hear low voices. Is that God and the devil arguing over my fate. I continue to wheeze, taking deeper breaths now. Something warm, dry, and fluffy wraps around me. Is that the wing of an angel? I snuggle into it and suddenly I’m swooped off of my feet. I’m being carried. Then, I fade out of reality and hopefully into heaven.

I’m really warm when I wake up. I’m wrapped in something soft. I open my eyes and wince as they sting badly from the chlorine. I jerk upwards and wince again at the pain in every muscle of my body. Sore doesn’t even begin to describe it. I realize I’m not in the bedroom I stayed in before, but a different one in the suite. I flop back down, but suddenly realize that I have to pee.

I gingerly get up and stumble to the bathroom, my legs feeling like jello under me. I take the chance to shower while I can after I pee. It’s very quick, in case he decides to come in. I’m surprised that he didn’t bathe me while I was asleep, which he has done before. He’s such an evil creep. The water feels amazing on my skin, but I force myself to get out before he comes in.

I look in the closet, expecting to see dresses, but am greeted with a mixture of jeans, leggings, and dresses. What’s going on? Then, I look in the dresser to find sports bras and regular (not lace) underwear. What is happing? This has to be a dream. Did I die? If I did then I’m definitely in Hell if he’s still here. After putting in a tampon, I change into a sports bra and underwear. Then, I put on a pair of leggings, a plain white short sleeve T-shirt, and a hoodie, which all fit me perfectly. I glance at myself in the mirror and sigh. When did I become this skinny?

My stomach suddenly growls, reminding me that I am starving. I probably burnt a lot of calories when I was swimming. Wait, how did I get back to the room? My memories are fuzzy. I slowly peek out of the door to see three buff body guards standing outside. Okay. I come out of the room, shutting the door behind me. Where’s-

“Good morning darling. Or should I say afternoon,” He greets me. Something all to familiar curses through my veins. Fear. I’m afraid of him. He was sitting in the couch before I came in, but stands to great me. I can’t let him see that his latest punishment got to me, even tough I’m still physically and mentally feeling it.

“How long was I asleep?” I question, to afraid of him to push him.

“About a day,” he replies, putting his hands behind his back. Weird.

“Um... thanks for the clothes. I really appreciate it,” I say. What’s wrong with me? Now I’m thanking my rapist and kidnapper for some stupid clothes. What has my world been reduced to?

“You’re welcome, anything for you,” He says, smiling like a child on Christmas. I hate him.

“I’m starving, do you have anything to eat?” I hesitantly ask.

“Currently no, but we can order something if you’d like,” he says. He’s acting so weird. Wait, he’s not controlling me. Why is he not controlling me?

“Could I have cheese pizza?” I ask. My stomach growls again, agreeing with me.

“Sure, pizza sounds great,” he says, casually shrugging. What the hell? Is this a dream? He picks up the phone and goes into a different room, leaving me alone with the bodies of muscle. I finally look around and notice the dead bodies are gone. I close my eyes, I killed them. He comes out a minute later, still smiling. "Take a seat darling,” he beams. I sit cross legged on the carpet where I was standing, trying not to wince from my sore muscles. There he is controlling me again.

“Sorry, I slip sometimes. I meant to say that you can sit on the couch, but only if you want to,” he quickly covers, sitting back down on the couch. I stand up, using the wall for support. Giving him a questioning glance, I walk over and sit on the couch, as far away from him as possible. He’ll just command me to sit with him if I don’t sit by myself.

We sit in silence for some time, just watching and listening to the TV. We’re watching soccer, which is incredibly boring. I don’t complain though, I’m to scared of him to say anything.

“Do you want to watch anything particular?” He suddenly asks.

“This is fine,” I quietly reply. Before he has a chance to respond, there’s a knock on the door. “Stay here,” he commands, getting up. I use my hearing to tune in on what’s happening.

“Hi, I have your pizza sir,” says a nervous voice from the door. I can hear his rapid heart beat.

“It’s on the House, no payment required,” Kilgrave says, grabbing the pizza.

“It’s on the House, no payment required,” the guy repeats.

“Have a nice day,” Kilgrave says.

“Have a nice day,” he repeats. I hear the door shut, then Killgrave comes back into my vision. His heart beats a little faster. He’s excited, he’s probably going to rape me. I shiver.

“Pizza’s here. What is it darling?” He asks, looking at me like he’s concerned.

“Nothing, I’m just hungry,” I lie. Last time I told him I was scared of him, he raped me.

“Okay. You can move now,” he says, setting the pizza box on the table in front of the couch. He set it so that I will have to scoot over closer to him if I want a piece. I don’t really care at this point because I’m so hungry.

I willingly slide closer to him and grab a piece of warm pizza. I quickly bite into it and practically moan at its goodness. This is amazing. I quickly finish one piece and go for another.

“I’m glad you’re appetite is back,” He says cheerfully.

“I want to gain weight,” I reply, starting on my second piece. I need to stay strong. He picks up his first piece and starts to eat it, looking thoughtful. 

“Do you want to watch a movie?” He casually asks. This is so weird.

“Why are you acting like this?” I blurt out, finally looking him in the eyes.

“You said you could learn to me if I don’t control you. Call it a strategy,” he says.

“It’s a strategy,” I repeat, being dragged down by his words again. How is he more powerful than before? He sighs, looking frustrated. 

“You’re stronger,” I quietly state, polishing off my second piece.

“I took a new batch of power enhancers yesterday,” he casually says.

“Why? You were powerful enough before,” I say. “It feels like I can’t fight anymore,” I state quietly.

“Not enough to stop you from running. My control should last for 14 hours now,” he replies, sounding happy.

“Great,” I sarcastically snort, grabbing another piece. My appetite is finally slowing down.

“I’m still trying, even tough I could easily control you. I want you to be yourself,” he quickly replies.

“What, so you can hurt me again?” I growl. His eyes soften.

“I’m sorry,” he says, sounding like he actually means it. I feel my jaw drop a little.

“Your sorry?! Did I miss something? Yesterday you didn’t care about me, now you’re apologizing?” I yell. I’m so confused. He sighs again.

“You remember our conversation from last night,” he says.

_“Get up,” the voice says. Why am I listening to it? Is it God? Will I go to heaven or hell now? My exhausted body has to try a few times before it props itself up on.. what are they called again? Oh, feet._

_I hear low voices. Is that God and the devil arguing over my fate. I continue to wheeze, taking deeper breaths now. Something warm, dry, and fluffy wraps around me. Is that the wing of an angel? I snuggle into it and suddenly I’m swooped off of my feet. I’m being carried. “Don’t pass out,” the voice says._

_“I’m sorry,” I wheeze. “I’m sorry,” it’s all I could say in between short ragged breaths._

_“It’s okay darling, all is forgiven,” it says._

_“Who are you?” I ask. I can’t remember, I’m to tired._

_“Who do you want me to be?” It asks, sounding amused. I’m set down on something soft._

_“Joe,” I murmur. I need Joe. There’s silence for a while._

_“Why do you hate Kilgrave?” Joe asks, sounding hurt._

_“He hurts me Joe. He’s like father. He controls me and manipulates me. I’m scared of him. I need space Joe, I miss you so much,” I say, unable to open my eyes. I’m so tired.._

_“Honestly tell me if you can ever learn to love him,” Joe says._

_“Maybe, but not like this. He’s going to kill me eventually Joe. I felt like I was going to die a few minutes ago and I wish that I would have. I’m a slave now, I’m not allowed to have ideas or think for myself and I’m so scared all the time. I’m a shell for him to fill with orders and rape,” I reply. I’m so tired. Suddenly, I’m being carried again. I get set down a minute later._

_“You can sleep now. You will have no memory of our conversation when you wake up,” Joe says, his voice sounding hurt and far away._

_“Wait! Can you stay with me?” I sluggishly ask, holding out my hand and wincing at my muscle movement. There’s no response, only a soft warm hand sliding into mine. “Thank you,” I mutter, before giving into the darkness._

“You- you erased my memory!” I yell, not being able to say anything else. It felt real, like Joe was there. Somewhere in my exhausted pasts mind I knew it wasn’t real. I feel tears gathering in my eyes. I miss him. I never got to say goodbye.

“Who is Joe?” Killgrave calmly asks.

“That terrible man may have been my father, but Joe was my dad,” I reply, pulling my knees into my chest. I close my eyes and try to stop myself from crying by taking deep breaths. I suddenly feel his hand stroking my back and jerk away and off the couch. “Don’t touch me!” I yell.

“Are you alright darling?” He questions.

“I need a minute,” I say, sitting on the ground against the wall.

“He died, didn’t he?” Killgrave asks quietly.

“Yes. I never got to say goodbye. It felt real last night, like I was actually talking to him,” I respond, surprised with how open I’m being.

“Do you need me to-“

“No. Just shut up for a minute,” I say. He frowns, but thankfully doesn’t say anything else. I just commanded him. We stay in silence for a few minutes. I finally get up, my head feeling clearer. “I’m not going to say what you did was okay, but thank you for letting me hear his voice again,” I quietly say. He cocks his head to the side, like a puppy begging for something.

“No problem,” he finally manages.

“Can I walk around the city or something? I really need to clear my head,” I continue.

“You can’t, but we can,” he says, standing up.

“Fine, but I’m not holding your hand,” I say. I can hear the fear in my own voice and I know he can too. He shrugs,

“Are you wearing that?”

“Yes,”

“Then let’s go,” he says, putting his hands in his pockets. He’s acting so weird. We walk out of the suite and into the elevator. It’s to quiet and I sense the tension in the air.

“How old are you?” I ask, needing to break the silence.

“I told you, older than you,” he says smiling.

“Is it hard not controlling me?” I ask. How far will he go?

“Not really. I only have to painstakingly choose everyone of my words,” He smirks.

“Did you just attempt sarcasm?” I ask, laughing a little.

“Yes, did it work?” He asks, stepping closer to me.

“Not that much,” I say, stepping back. He rolls his eyes and steps back again. The elevator chimes open. We walk through the lobby and into the streets of the city. It’s evening now, the sun had barely set and the sky is still a pretty shade of blue. I want to run so badly, but I know that he will command me to come back.

“Do you like this?” He suddenly asks from beside me.

“Yea,” I reply. It’s probably the best thing that’s happened since I’ve met him. He’s not trying to force his dick in me orcontrol me. 

“What else do you like to do?” He asks, like this is a first date.

“Um... I guess I like to watch TV, read, play piano, there’s a bunch of stuff,” I reply. “What about you?” I cautiously finish.

“Hmm. I like good food, opera, theatre, great sex,” He pauses and smiles at me. I shiver again. “Traveling, there’s a lot really,” he finishes. There’s silence after that. I don’t really want to get to know him or I might actually start to like him. After all, he looks like a super model. Everything is so screwed up.

“Can you feel all the metal around us?” He suddenly asks.

“If I wanted to,” I reply. Wait, he hasn’t told me not to use my powers. I can leave!

“I wouldn’t do that if I were you,” he casually says. How does he know?

“Why?” I question. He’s at my mercy now, as long as he doesn’t control me.

“Well, I think little Georgia may not make it through the night if you were to leave me.”

I stop, my body freezing in place. I feel sick. How does he know about her? I close my eyes and try to stop myself from vomiting. He knows where she is. I feel goosebumps starting to cover my body and something familiar flares through me: rage. Not anger like last time, but pure untethered rage. I HATE him. I look him in the eyes and he takes a hesitant step back. If looks could kill, he would be dead.

“Calm down,” he commands, his voice wavering a little. Only slightly, but my hearing catches it. I feel myself lose some anger. That twisted son of a bitch. 

“You son of a bitch! She’s 15 years old! You or any of your goons touch a single hair on her head and I will kill you all and that’s a promise because I’m a killer now thanks to you,” I snarl. He knows where she is. He can hurt her. I lace my hands behind my head and try to keep my breathing even. I go into a dark alley way and lean against the wall. In, out. In, out. 

_Calm down_

“Jeez, I wasn’t planning on hurting her! I just can’t have you running away from me, it’s a precaution,” he says, following me into the alley. He sounds concerned. I’m to panicked to care. He knows where she is. He could take her at any time. He could rape her and control her. 

I can’t screw up now. I have to stay with him forever and he won’t even have to command me to. I’m trapped in a cage with a hungry lion, holding a key to my freedom but unable to free myself. A strangled sound escapes from me and I feel hot tears roll down my face. “Hey, it’s okay darling,” He comforts.

“Open her door slut!” Father yells.

“No. Hurt me, not her!” I beg. He slips off his belt and folds it in half. Slap! I start to cry as the blows continue.

“Stop! It’s not alright! None of this is alright! She’s my sister, she’s the only person left in the world that I actually care for! The others were torn from me and now you’re blackmailing me into staying with you by using my using her. Can you not see how messed up that is?” She’s to innocent for this. She’s so young.

“Breath River. I promise you that I will not harm her,” he says.

“Just like you say you don’t hurt me?!” I yell, forcing myself to breath.

_It’s okay._

No! It’s not alright. I let my power expand feeling everything around me. Trash and lining the alley begin to shake. I could kill him, but then one of his men will kill G.

“River. Darling, you have to calm down,” he commands, sounding angry. I feel myself come down from my rage high. The trash cans stop shaking.

“Let’s go,” I say quietly, leaving the alley and starting back towards the hotel.

“Really darling? We just started walking,” he whines. I don’t give him a response, I just keep walking. He comes to my side and we walk back in silence.

As soon as I get into the suite, I storm into my room and lock the door behind me. Then, I plop down on my freshly made bed and start to cry again. I’m trapped. Maybe I should let him control me to keep G safe. I’d be miserable, but she would be safe. I close my eyes and continue to sob, not being able to do anything else. After a while, my full stomach and exhaustion from crying puts me to sleep.

I jerk awake as soon as I hear the door to my room open. I groan and glare back at Killgrave who looks utterly surprised. I smirk at his expression, which I really haven’t seen on him before.

“What?” I ask, my voice heavy with sleep.he still has Georgia. 

“You’re a light sleeper,” he says, smirking. I wait for myself to repeat it but don’t hear anything. Weird. “It’s a fact. You already know that you are so I’m not controlling you,” he says quickly, reading my confusion. How does he know me that well already?

“Go away,” I groan, rolling over on my back and wincing at my soreness. Unfortunately, he catches it.

“Are you hurt?” He asks worriedly, stepping into the room.

“I’m fine, just sore thanks to you. Now leave,” I reply. He sighs and looks down. Then, without a word, he leaves my room and shuts the door. I close my eyes and sit up, still feeling really sore. I decide to take a shower before going out to face him again. I realize I only have 1 more day of my period left, soon he’ll go back to raping me. I shiver, stepping into the warm water.

I stay in the shower until my skin is wrinkled. I hate him. I don’t want to go out there and face him again. He is evil. He is the spawn of Satan himself. I reluctantly get out and change into a new set of clothing. Jeans and a white tank top this time. My stomach growling reminds me that I am hungry. I need to start eating regularly if I want to gain weight.

I take another minute to myself before I leave. I can do this. If he doesn’t control me, I can do this. I open the door and slip out, closing it behind me. There’s a body guard outside me door and I roll my eyes and look for Kilgrave.

“Kilgrave?” I call.

“He left. You are not to leave or we will kill ourselves,” a body guard says, coming up to me.

“Where did he go?” I question.

“We are not allowed to answer any of your questions or we will have to kill ourselves,” he repeats, his eyes glassy. I sigh. What am I supposed to do?

I settle on playing the piano. I haven’t played in a while and really miss it. I start by playing Fur Elise to warm up then go into Turkish March. I am thankful that my hands remembered the notes since I didn’t have any music to play from.

Where did Killgrave go? Probably to terrorize innocent people. That seems to be his specialty. I start playing River Flows in You next. For not playing for a while, it sounds great. I play a couple more songs then get up and turn around. I am startled with the sight of Killgrave sitting on the choice looking at me with a smug grin. How did he get by me?

“Where the hell did you come from?!” I yell, startled that he got past my super hearing. How did he do that?!

“I didn’t know you played piano,” he responds, sounding hurt.

“Well I didn’t know that you can be so damn quiet,” I respond.

“I think that you play beautifully River. You are truly amazing. Is there anything you can’t do?” He responds. I feel my face heat up from his praise. I usually try to avoid attention in everything except swimming, where I use my anger to push me.

_I am truly amazing_

“I can’t sing,” I smirk, walking past him and sitting on the couch. “Where were you?” I continue.

“Going for a walk. I needed to calm down,” he responds, sitting next to me.

“Oh, so you can go on a walk alone, but I can’t?” I question, flipping through the channels.

“You could if I gave you some orders before,” he says, smirking. I hate how he holds it over my head like that. I’m beaten and we both know it. I bite my tongue and lower my eyes. He sighs. “Look, I didn’t come here to fight with you. I actually came to apologize. I’m sorry that in the past I may have gone a bit to far with using my powers on you. I realize this may be what you need to get over our past,” he says, sounding.... remorseful? It was a weird tone on him.

“You think that a lousy apology will make me forget what you did to me, what you made me do?” I growl. His brows furrow.

“You know, I’ve never apologized to anyone before you. You should be more grateful,” he says.

_I should be more grateful. He’s never apologized to anyone before me._

“Thank you for your apology,” comes my voice. It’s not mine, it’s his. He suddenly grabs my hand and something in my mind clicks. He’s actually trying to not control me and he’s acting like a decent guy now. All to get me to love him. He’s doing this for me. He’s being better for me. Shit, he actually thinks that I can love him. He’s being nice. This could be so much worse. He could be raping me and forcing me to do things I don’t want to do. He says something. “What did you say?” I question, snapping out of my thoughts and pulling my hand away.

“I said that I picked up some food on the way back,” he says, getting up and going to the kitchen. I feel a swell of emotion towards him and I can’t decide if it’s good or bad. I just know that something within me has shifted.

_I should be more grateful._

“Thank you,” I hear myself say. “What the hell did you do to me?!” I exclaim, working through my emotions. It started when he touched me. He’s controlling my emotions. No! He said he wouldn’t control me.

“Nothing, I just showed you what I see,” He says, getting plastic boxes of food out of the bag.

“You said you wouldn’t control me,” I stammer.

“I said I’d try not to,” He responds smugly, setting the containers on the table.

“Well stop! I feel different now!” I yell, my head starting to hurt.

“I’m sorry darling, you just needed a little shove in the right direction. Now are you going to eat, or do I have to make you?” He says, sounding more like a parent than a friend. I glare at him, but walk over to the table and sit down. I should give up.

“Tell me the truth from now on, is me not controlling you making you happy?” He asks.

“Happier,” I hear myself respond.

“But is it making you like me?”

“No,” I respond, nothing can do that.

“Why?” He asks, sounding angry.

“Because you hold your control over my head. I’m thankful that your not making me do things, but you can’t blackmail me and threaten me, then expect me to like you,” I respond.

“You like me,” he calmly says. Why didn’t he get angry at that?

“I like you,” I repeat, my thoughts being shoved down again. He’s in control now.

“I like you too,” he smirks, sitting across from me. He is pure evil. “What are you thinking about?”

“How conceded and evil you are,” I spit back.

“Oh, don’t be sour darling. The whole not controlling thing is obviously not working out for us,” he says.

“So what, you’re going to start controlling me again? Make me a prisoner in my own mind!” I yell.

“Come on... You know it wasn’t all that bad,” he playfully says.

_It wasn’t all that bad. I like him._

I stay quiet and start to pick at my food. He brought Chinese food, which isn’t my favorite, but still edible. I need to gain weight if I want to give him a good fight.

“Now that you have to answer honestly, I need to ask you if you enjoyed the last time we had sex?” He casually asks.

_Tell the truth_

“It was better than the other times,” I quietly respond. Why is everything about sex with him?!

“I asked if you enjoyed it,” he repeats.

“Yes,” I hear myself respond. I close my eyes and hold back tears. He’s going to do it again. “But, I don’t want to do it again,” I quickly say, my voice sounding panicked. Please don’t rape me and make me enjoy it.

“Why darling?” He asks, tilting his head like a puppy begging for food.

“Because I don’t want to have sex with you,” I respond. There’s the truth.

“But why?” He exclaims.

“Because I don’t love you! It’s something special that should be saved until marriage, but you took my virginity without even thinking about it!” I yell. The table starts to shake, I force myself to calm down before he makes me. I told the truth. His gaze darkness into something scary. The monster is coming out to play.

“Is it finished?” He asks, staring me down. Unfortunately I know exactly what he is talking about, my period.

“Y-yes. Look I-I’m sorry,” I stutter. “Please don’t-“

“Stop talking. Go into my room, strip, start a shower, go in, and wait for me,” he commands, his tone as cold as ice. I shakily stand up and walk into his room.

_Strip._

I slowly peal off my clothing, a small pile forming at my feet. I also take out my tampon so he won’t hurt me to badly. It’s almost entirely clean.

_Start a shower, then go in._

I turn on the water to a reasonable temperature, then I get in.

_Wait for him._

I shiver, regardless of the warm water beating down on my back. He’s going to rape me. I try not to cry. He’s done it before, all I can do it accept it and let it happen. I stand there until the water starts to run cold.

_Wait for him_

Is he even coming? Better a cold shower then rape. I continue to wait on him, will he leave me here? My teeth start chattering without my command. I’m freezing! It’s better then swimming that’s for sure. Maybe he’s modifying his punishments so they don’t physically hurt me. I slide down the wall in front of the cold spray and sit down on the freezing tile.

My hearing suddenly picks up the sound of his bedroom door opening. Oh no. I hear he bathroom door opening and closing, then him taking his clothes off.

The shower door opens and he steps in. He’s naked and standing out of the reach of the water. I stand up on numb legs, using the wall for support. We just stare at each other for a minute. No words are said. He advances towards me but jerks his hand back as the water hits it.

“Bloody hell, the water is freezing!” He exclaims. “Common, we need to get you warmed up,” he scoffs, sounding annoyed. I stumble out after him, my teeth still chattering.

_Stop talking_

I am unable to speak to him. He throws me a towel and thankfully wraps one around his own waist even though he’s still dry. I wrap the row around my torso and it covers everything like a dress. I rub up and down my arms to get some blood flowing through them. He begins to walk over to me, but I stumble backwards, away from him.

“Stay still darling, you trust me,” He says, coming closer. My feet are glued to the ground and my arms are stuck by my sides.

“I t-t-trust y-you,” I repeat, shivering violently. I can fee my mind slipping away. His words are so much more powerful than before. He pulls me into a hug and I let him, to numb to care.

“I’m sorry I left you in there that long, I had to calm down before I did something that I would regret. What you said to me hurt me and you will apologize now,” he says.

“I-I’m s-s-sorry,” I mumble in between chattering teeth.

“It’s okay, I forgive you. You can move now and you want to kiss me to make up for being rude earlier,” he says. I shove him back against the wall and roughly kiss him, letting my hate for him show through the kiss. He switches our position, his lengthy frame still stronger than my own. He moves his warm hands up and down my arms and I melt into his touch. My emotions are everywhere. I need him. No! He’s using his powers. I push him away and gesture to my mouth. I suddenly realize that we are both naked, when did that happen?

“What?!” He asks.

“Pl-Please do-don’t c-control my em-emotions,” I struggle. I’m still cold.

“Fine, but you want this and are going to enjoy it and-“ I cut him off by kissing him. The more he says the worse off I am. Maybe I can enjoy this. No,

_I am going to enjoy this. I like him._

He seems shocked for a minute, then kisses me back.

_I want this._

He forces me to the bed on my back. He breaks the kiss.

“Stay still darling, we’re going to try something new,” he says, getting off of me. He rummages through his suit case and comes back to the bed holding three of his purple ties. Oh no, I don’t like this.

_Stay still, stop talking._

He gently ties my wrists to the head board, not tight enough to hurt me, but tight enough that I can’t break free. Then he crawls over me and kisses me again. He lifts my head up and ties the last tie around me eyes so that I’m blind. I feel a swell of panic. I can’t see what he’s going to do. My breathing accelerates.

“Relax darling, you completely trust me,” he whispers in my ear. I feel my body relax,

_I completely trust him. I like him._

I suddenly feel a hot, wet thing move up my neck and the side of my face. He’s licking me. I cringe, this is so gross.

“You like this,” he says.

“I like this,” I repeat. I relax again,

I _like this, I completely trust him, I am going to enjoy this._

He licks a line down my chest and over my nipples. My body involuntarily jerks as he gently bites down. My breath hitches.

_I like this._

He moves down my body stopping at the bottom of my stomach. He feel him kiss the scares that are embedded on my skin and it sends a shiver through my veins. He cares about me. For some reason, he loves me.

I immediately stop thinking that as he presses a long finger into my entrance.

_I like this, I’m going to enjoy this._

He adds another finger, starting to work me open. Please don’t do this. Feeling him pull his fingers out, he crawls up my body and stratals my chest.

“Open your mouth,” he commands. My jaw drops.

“Suck me,” He says, I feel the top of his cock press into my mouth. I close my lips around his length and he starts to move in and out of my mouth.

_Stay still._

I try my best to get him to cum. It’s better in my mouth then inside my body. He’s hard within 30 seconds and he pulls out, leaving me gasping for air. He moves back down my body.

_I completely trust him._

Next, he gently pushes his length inside me. I prepare for the pain, but noting comes. It doesn’t hurt. It doesn’t hurt!

_I’m enjoying this._

I feel goosebumps making their way across my cool skin.

_I want this. I like him._

He suddenly rubs against something inside me that makes me moan. He grips my forearms, still tied above my head, and starts moving faster, hitting the spot every other thrust. I feel my release building up and causing me to moan.

“Are you close?” He asks from somewhere above me, out of breath.

_Answer Truthfully_

“Yes,” I gasp.

“Good girl. Wait until I tell you to,” He commands, moving faster. In this moment, my mind collapses. I’m nothing, just like when father would beat me, I turn on my captive mood. “Cum now!” On his command we release together and as usual, he collapses on top of me. He takes off my blindfold and stares at me.


	12. Love (Killgrave’s POV)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this chapter took so long, I’ve had a lot of shit happen in my life recently and I’m having trouble working through it. Anyways, there is rape in this chapter, so be warned.

Something is wrong. There’s something different in her eyes, something off. I ignore it and focus on evening out my breathing. She is spectacular. I gently pull out and lie next to her, watching the slow rise and fall of her chest. She’s gorgeous.

“You’re amazing darling. Tell me you love me,” I command her.

“I love you,” she repeats. Her voice is different.

“Again. Make me believe it,” I say, stroking her jaw line.

“I love you,” she says, her voice laced with affection. She loves me. I untie her wrists only to have her arms wrap around my neck and her face nestle into my chest.

“What are you doing?” I ask, slightly shocked. First the kiss, now this...

“Stay,” she says softly. Her voice is calm and empty.

“Why?” I respond.

“I need this,” she responds. I know exactly what she means. She’s missing meaningful human connection, which I was also deprived of as a child. I know how she feels. I hesitantly wrap my arms around her.

“Alright darling,” I respond. No words are said between us for the longest time. We weren’t asleep, but fully awake. I find that I don’t mind this so much. My fingers are stroking up and down her spine and scares. She’s gained a little weight back, but still needs to eat more. “We’re going to hear a symphony tonight. You’ll love it River. I can’t put in to words how amazing it sounds,” I say, breaking the silence between us.

 “I’ll love it,” she agrees.

“Good, get cleaned up and dress in a nice dress. Meet me outside when you are finished. Oh and wear a thong,” I command, kissing her head and rolling out from under her. We’re going to have fun tonight, I’m planning on getting her drunk to see what she’s really like. She sighs and goes into the bathroom, not closing the main door. Somethings really weird with her. Maybe she is finally starting to like me. That has to be it. She’s excepting her role as my lover. 

I pick out a purple spotted dress shirt and button it up before putting on a navy waist coat. Then, I put on a navy tie and button the waist coat over it. Rummaging through the closet, I pick out a navy suit jacket and pants to match my waist coat and tie. Perfect.

 River comes out of the bathroom and my breath hitches. She’s in a floor length, sleeveless navy dress with a slit cut up the leg.

 “You look absolutely stunning sweatheart! Only one thing is missing,” I go into the bathroom and grab the necklace I got for her earlier. “Let me put this on you,” I say, circling the chain around her neck and clasping it in the back. I rub my hands down her slim body and kiss the side of her face. “Come along now. Where would you like to go?” I ask, grabbing her hand and leading her out the door. “Oh and don’t use your powers. You must stay within 3 feet of me at all times and only talk when you’re answering my questions,” I finish, leading her out the main door and into the hallway. I push the down button for the elevator:

 “I want to go home,” she suddenly says. I sigh, feeling a tad sympathetic. This is her first time out of the country. She’s probably home sick.  

“Why do you want to go back when you can stay with me here? You know love it here,” I say.

“I know,” she repeats. “But, I miss my sister,” she finishes. Oh, I forgot about the sister thing. If they’re really close, then she could already know that River is gone.

“How often do you see her?” I frown.

“We usually meet every Friday,” she answers. The elevator chimes open and we climb in. Shit, today is Sunday.

“Call her. Convince her that you’re fine and won’t be able to meet anymore because you got kicked out of school and were forced to move away. Do not tell her about me or my powers,” I command, handing her my phone. She looks shocked, but dials in a number and holds it up to her ear. “Put it on speaker phone,” I command. She turns it on and after a few rings someone picks up.

 “What the hell J? I’ve been worried sick! I was about to call the frikin police. That call last week was so unlike you. Where have you been?” Yells a young female voice through the phone. I can see the resemblance through the voice alone, although they don’t sound the same, they have the same attitude. River looks like she’s about to cry.

 “I’m fine G. I won’t be able to meet up anymore because I was kicked out of school,” River says evenly.

 “What!? How?! You were getting straight A’s,” she responds, obviously not believe it it. River looks at me and I nod back. She furrows her brows, probably coming up with a lie. 

 “They revoked my scholarship because they wanted to give it to someone else,” she quickly covers.

“Can they even do that?” The younger girl asks. Shit, this won’t be easy. River has a small victorious smirk plastered across her face, her eyes are glassy, like she’s about to cry.

 “Apparently! I can’t believe it either. Anyways, I’m rooming with this girl over in Hell’s Kitchen,” She says. What is she playing at? I narrow my eyes. 

“Is she nice? What’s her name?” Her sister asks.

“She’s great and her name is Jessica Jones,” River says, looking me in the eye. That little brilliant bitch! I lean in so my lips are at her ear. She’s so much smarter than all the other toys I’ve had in the past.

 “Hang up as soon as you can and don’t mention Jessica again,” I whisper.

 “I have to go G, remember to stay in the shadows. I’m in the light,” River says. What is that about? There’s a moment of silence.

 “Okay, I will. Stay alive J, I need you,” she says quietly, with hesitation.

 “Will do, bye G,” River says, then she hangs up.

 “Good, now forget about her,” I command, taking my phone back. She needs to be thinking about me, not her sister. Her expression turns even more blank and the elevator door chimes open. “We’re going to the symphony. London has one of the nicest theaters I’ve ever been to,” I tell her. Grabbing her hand again, I open the door to a sports car that just pulled up.

 “You’d be happy to drive us wherever I tell you to take us,” I command the driver.

 “Yes, I would,” the man behind the wheel agrees.

 “Get in the car River,” I command. She gets in the car and scoots to the opposite seat. I slide in after her. “Take us to the Royal Festival Hall,” I command the driver. “River, you are in love me. You will act like we are a couple and do whatever I tell you without hesitation. You will be happy and have fun tonight, am I clear?” I tell her. Last time I did this I doubted myself to much. I have these powers, so why shouldn’t I use them? I need to make sure that she will have fun and enjoy it so she'll eventually want to stay with me on her own. 

 “Yes. I’m in love with you and will act like we are a couple. I will do whatever you tell me without hesitation and be happy and have fun tonight,” she repeats.

 “Good girl,” I praise her. I take her hand and she doesn’t fight me, but grips back. The driver stops the car in-front of the theatre. “Driver, you are free to leave. You don’t remember us or this drive,” I tell the man. I release her hand, then get out, keeping the door open and offering my hand to her. River follows my lead, taking my hand again. I don’t even have to control her.

Once we enter the building, she looks around in awe. I keep forgetting that she is so young and inexperienced. I’ll show her the world.

“Do you like it?” I causally ask.

“I love it here,” she replies with a smile.

“It is quite spectacular. I remember my first time here. I was around your age and even better looking than I am now,” I tell her. I grab a program from one of the ushers.

 “Tonight we will be given the VIP treatment and seats,” I tell him.

 “Of course, follow me,” The usher replies. He leads us up the stairs and to box seats overlooking the hall. Musicians line the stage, tuning their instruments and getting ready to preform. River and I sit down and hold hands.

 I look over to find that she looks happy. Is she happy because I told her to be or because she really is? I guess it’s really the same thing. What does it matter? I tried not controlling her and it didn’t help her. It was easier with Jessica, whom I couldn’t control if I wanted to. A cruel idea crosses my head.

“River, for the rest of the night you will forget about my ability to control you and act like we’re a couple on a date. You may also speak freely and act like yourself,” I whisper into her ear, after tucking a piece of her hair behind it. She looks absolutely confused for a couple seconds, until she looks at me.

 “Sorry, were you saying something? I spaced for a couple seconds,” she says, sounding apologetic. That’s better. Now she’s acting like herself. I love her.

 “I was just saying how beautiful I think you are,” I respond. A hint of color enters her pale cheeks. She’s so adorably fantastic.

 “Thanks, I’m having fun,” she replies. Her voice is different, but I can’t put my finger on how. I casually wrap my arm around her and subtlety force her head into the crook of my neck. She doesn’t fight me and let’s me run my fingers through her hair.

The orchestra starts to play something I’ve heard before somewhere in a movie.

After about a half hour of music and River not moving, I notice that she’s fallen asleep. She trusts me enough to fall asleep on me. I let her sleep through the rest of the show because I know that she’ll need it later. She’s not used to staying up this late.

“River. Wake up,” I whisper down to her. She starts to stir and yawns before sitting up.

“Oh my gosh! I’m so sorry. I don’t know what came over me,” she tiredly blushes.

“It’s okay darling, you must have been exhausted to sleep through that,” I smirk. The leans in and pecks me softly on the lips. She actually kissed me! Does her knowledge that I can control her affect her that much?

“Thanks for understanding,” she says quietly.I feel shocked.

“No problem. Shall we go for dinner?” I stutter.

“Dinner sounds great,” she replies, standing up and stretching out. I stand up and button my jacket. She laces her arm around mine, so our elbows are linked. She’s seems so much happier when she doesn’t remember I can control her.

We walk out of the Hall and into the streets. I start looking for a good place to eat. 

“Have you ever been drunk before River?” I casually ask.

“No, I’m not old enough to drink yet,” she says, sounding confused. Oh, I forgot about that. She’s so young! I frown as I realize she is half my age.

“You’re lucky the drinking age in London is 18. You want to have a couple drinks tonight,” I say.

“I want to have a couple drinks tonight,” she repeats. 

“Good,” I reply. We walk in silence for a couple of minutes, until I finally see a worthy looking restaurant for us to dine at.A line of people wait to be seated outside the door. I walk towards the front, pulling River with me.

“What are you doing? We have to wait in line,” she laughs.

“No we don’t darling,” I say nearing the hostess.

“You’re right, we don’t have to wait in line,” she says.

“You heard her, we don’t have to wait in line. You’d be happy to give us the next available table,” I tell the hostess.

“Of course, one just opened up. Follow me,” she says, grabbing two menus and leading us inside. We are seated in a dimly lit corner, my favorite place to sit in restaurants.

“How long have we been together now?” She suddenly asks.

“About a week now, but it doesn’t matter because we love each other,” I state, guiding her mind back in place.

“Yea. I know this sounds weird, but I feel like I’m missing something obvious. There’s something about you that seems weird,” she says. I narrow my eyes. “Not a bad weird, just a weird weird,” she quickly corrects.

“Okay...”

“Good evening, my name is Ezra and I will be your server this evening. Can I get you any appetizers or drinks to start with?” Interrupts the server.

“I’ll take a bottle of your finest wine and my lovely date here will have a dirty martini,” I tell him.

 “Okay, I’ll be back with that shortly,” he replies, flashing River a smile. He’ll pay for that after he brings us food.

“So I don’t get to order?” She laughs.

“What do you want?” I question. If she’s trying, then I’ll try.

“I was looking at the grilled salmon with asparagus,” she replies.

“I guess that will do. Salmon is good for the stomach, yes?”

“It’s good for your body in general, what are you getting?” She asks, closing the menu. 

“The prime rib with steamed green beans,” I reply. The waiter arrives carrying our drinks.

“For you sir, I have a 1787 bottle of Chateau Margaux. He pops the cork and pours a small taste in a wine glass he set down earlier. I waft it before taking a sip. It will be really good after sitting for a couple of minutes. I nod my head at him in acknowledgment. The guy has taste. “And for you ma’am, I have a dirty martini,” he continues, setting the glass down and shaking up the drink. Then, he pours it in the glass and drops an olive in it. 

“Try it. You’ll love it darling,” I tell her. It is a casual command so the guy won’t know.She picks up the glass and takes a small sip. Her expression remains neutral and she sets the glass down, looking confused. 

“I hate the taste, but I still love it,” she says. That seems to satisfy the waiter.

“Have you decided on a dish yet, or do you need a little more time?” He asks.

“I’ll take the prime rib well done and she’ll have the salmon the same way,” I say, handing him the menus.

“Sounds great! I’ll leave you too it,” he says, walking away. River looks confused.

“Finish it darling, you know you want to,” I say, gesturing to her martini. 

“Yea, I do,” she replies, picking up the glass and drinking it all. She sets it down, looking a little dazed already. Perfect. Two more should do the trick. 

“How do you feel?” I question. She looks confused.

“Happy, I’m having fun,” she responds, with a dead look in her eyes.

“How do you really feel? Tell the truth now,” I command, grabbing her hands. They’re cold and clammy.

“I- I don’t know,” she responds, furrowing her brows. 

“What do you mean you don’t know?” I scowl. I told her to tell the truth.

“You usually tell me how to feel and I always feel that way,” she says, looking lost. “How do you do that?” She suddenly asks.

“You remember that I can control you,” I roll my eyes. Her posture shifts slightly so she’s more guarded. “Sit up straight darling, you trust me,” I tell her. She straightens and relaxes a little. 

“Why did you make me forget?” She asks, sounding hurt.

“I thought it would be fun, but you’re too smart to do that too,” I growl. Many of my other companions never noticed until we got into bed together. I refill her glass, “Drink it,” I command, sitting back in my chair. She downs it in a couple gulps and sets the glass down.

Our food comes a little after that. She rubs her temples and makes a face at the food.

“Common, you have to eat darling,” I tell her. She sighs and picks up her fork, starting to eat. “How is the alcohol making you feel?” I ask her.

“Drowsy,” she responds in between bites. Good.

“Good, now tell me about your parents,” I command.

“What about them?!” She snarks back.

“Don’t talk to me with attitude! You feel comfortable discussing them and won’t have any attacks,” I growl back. A couple people in the restaurant turn and look at us due to my raised voice. “Mind your own business! Go back to eating!” I yell. Everyone turns around and starts to eat. I take a deep breath and fix my hair where it came out of place. “You will tell me everything your father did to you and how he died, after you drink this,” I tell her, pouring her what’s left in the shaker.She glares at me drinks it, shaking her head after.

“My foster father hurt me in a lot of ways. Whenever he smoked at home he would put his cigars out on me. That was the most physically painful thing he did until he broke my arm as a punishment for protecting someone,” She says quietly. “I can’t quite remember who, but I know that it was someone important,” she continues, furrowing her brows and rubbing her temples. Oh, I told her to forget her sister.

“It doesn’t matter, go on,” I tell her. I feel a deep sense of anger towards her father and sympathy for her. She knows what it’s like to be abused by parents.

“Most nights he would come home and make me suck him off before going to force himself in whatever unfortunate women he picked up or my foster mother,” she pauses. “Damn it! What was in that drink?” She mutters.

“It’s called alcohol darling,” I smirk. 

“Well I feel frikin awful!” She says, her words are starting to slur together. Her voice is changing too. “Everythin’ looks so bright!” She puts the palms of her hands over her eyes. She sounds like she has a country accent. I choke on my drink.

“You have an accent,” I observe out loud. It sounds natural on her and I never realized how stressed her English sounded before. She always tried to cover it up.

“Yea, I was raised in frigin Tennessee,” She resorts. 

“I didn’t know that, is there anything else about you I should know?” I ask, slightly annoyed.

“Yes, I killed my father,” she blurts.

“What?!” I exclaim. I want to kill my father, but I need to become more powerful first and he’s the only one who can do that. He’s trapped in a small apartment near here, working on ways to make me more powerful.

“I killed him,” she repeats, almost sounding proud.

“I made my mother kill herself. What do you think about that?” I reply.

“I think that you’ve got more blood on your hands then you’re willin to admit,” she says. 

“I’ve never killed anyone. Can you say the same?” I reply, knowing her answer.

“Using your powers to kill people counts as killing them yourself because they would of never done it on their own,” she replies, looking pale. I think about it for a minute. She’s right. But I have these powers, so shouldn’t I use them?

“Just shut up,” I command her. She looks down and continues picking at her half eaten food, her eyes are dilated and her hand is shaking. I suddenly remember he birth control pills and take one out of the bottle that I always keep with me. “Take this,” I state, handing it to her. She dry swallows it. “You want to go back to the hotel with me,” I state.

“I wanna go back to da hotel wif you,” she dreamily says.

“Good, lets go,” I command, holding my hand out. Her eyes focus in and out on it for a minute until she takes it. Her hand is warm and sweaty, but I don’t complain. She sways slightly once she gets to her feet, making me smirk. I snake my hand around her waist to help her stay on her feet. This is a good idea, she’s not fighting me. My smile grows as she leans into me and puts her head on my chest. I text my driver to come get us. 

“Wait! You have to pay for your meal sir!” Interrupts an annoying voice behind us.

 “No I don’t, it’s on the house,” I reply.

“Never mind, it’s on the house,” he agrees. I suddenly remember the smile he gave River before. He wouldn’t have done that if he couldn’t see her. I pick up the knife I used to cut my prime rib with. “Go outside and use this knife to cut out your eyes,” I command. No ones allowed to look at what is mine like that. He takes the knife and goes towards the door. A weak tug on my jacket makes me look down on the small girl in my arms.

“Please d-don’t,” she says dreamily. I’m surprised that she can fight me in the state she’s in now.

“Why shouldn’t I?” I snark back. The waiter opens the door and I follow, takingRiver with me.

“B- Because I’m asking ya not to,” she replies. She’s asking me for something. I want to give her what she wants. A blood chilling scream startles me and I spin around to find the waiter was digging around his eye with the knife.

“Stop. What is his sight worth to you?” I ask River. She looks like she’s thinking, her sharp brain is slower than usual due to the alcohol so I give her a minute.

“I’ll give you a hand job,” she suddenly blurts. I think about it for a minute.

“How about you suck me off to save his other eye?” I offer. I won’t even have to command her.

“Deal,” she responds without hesitation. I grin.

“You,” I point to the waiter, “Take yourself to the hospital. You will forget about us and tell them that you hurt yourself,” I command. He turns around and starts running in the opposite direction.

“Thank you Killgrave,” River says, sounding exhausted.

“You’re welcome daring,” I respond, genuinely smiling. My driver pulls up to the curve and I help River get in before slipping in after her. She goes back to leaning on me and I know that she will fall asleep without help. “Stay awake, you’re not tired,” I tell her.

“You’re really hot,” she randomly says, looking up at me. “Your accent is sooo sexy too,” I feel my pants grow tighter around my length.

“I think I’ll take you up on that blow job now,” I whisper, before kissing her. I taste the alcohol in her mouth and smell it in her breath. It turns me on even more. Her hands go to my belt and she undoes it before unzipping me. She’s doing this willingly. She suddenly stops and I see a hint of uncertainty enter her eyes. She’s fighting to get through the alcohol working its way through her system. “You want to do this,” I softly encourage her. Her eyes turn submissive again.

“I want to do this,” she repeats, then she kisses me and frees me from my boxers. She gives me a few strokes with her calloused hand before taking me in her warm mouth. I moan as I run a hand through her hair and grab a bunch of it to control her movements.

“Swallow,” I groan. I feel her swallow around my length and moan again, forcing her mouth to move up and down on my length. I feel her gag around me and stop forcing her to take me in as deeply. Feeling my release building up, I let go of her hair to let her mouth work it’s magic around my cock. She sucks and swirls her tongue around the head, sending me over the edge. “Swallow it all,” I gasp, not able to catch my breath. Her throat works around my cock, swallowing all of my semen. She sits up gasping for air one I am done and I take advantage of her open mouth, forcing my tongue in and kissing her swollen lips after I tuck myself back in.

I send her a deep feeling of desire through our kiss and she cups the back of my head and tangles her fingers in my hair. She deserves a reward for being so good, she starts to unbutton my shirt. I have a great idea.

“Not yet my love, wait until we-“ she kisses me again. “-get back,” I continue on my next breath. The car stops and I break the kiss before getting out on to the sidewalk. She follows, wobbling much more than before, as she is really starting to feel what it’s like to be drunk. “Common lovely,” I lead her inside and into the elevator. As soon as the doors close, I start to kiss her again, grabbing her wrists and pinning them above her head with one of my hands. I’m glad that the elevator ride is awkwardly long for the first time since being here. The door opens and I walk us to the room.

I fumble with the hotel card as I try to open the door. It eventually opens and we move straight to my bedroom. I unzip her dress and it falls to the ground around her ankles. She’s left in a thong, heals, and a sleeveless bra. I admire her body for a minute before kissing her again. She unbuttons and pulls off my waistcoat while I move us towards the bed. I push her down, falling with her so I land over her on the bed. I pull my shirt off and take off my pants. She squirms under me with need. 

“Stay still,” I command, as I cover her body with licks, kisses, and bite marks. I grab the waistband of her thongs and slowly drag them down her legs, kissing down them as I go. One they are off, I pry her quivering thighs apart and start to eat out her pussy. She yelps in surprise and I realize that this is her first time having someone eat her out. She moans as I lick a hard line up her clit. She’s enjoying this. I didn’t have to tell her to enjoy this. 

I push a finger in her entrance and start to gently move it in and out. I easily add a second finger from how wet my licking is making her. A slight whimper from above me gets my attention.

“What’s wrong?” I question, trying to care about her needs. She tastes so good. She’s enjoying this. 

“It doesn’t feel right. I love you, but I don’t want to have sex with you,” she breathlessly says.

“Yes you do darling. We’re going hard tonight too, I just think that you deserve a reward for how good you were earlier,” I reply, before going back down in between her open legs. She moans as I add a third finger, preparing her properly for me this time. I don’t want to hurt her. I pull out my fingers, then line up my hard cock with her entrance before gently pushing in. 

She groans as I start to work up to a fast pace. She’s still so tight. It feels amazing around my cock and it makes me smile to think that I’m the only one who has ever touched her like this. A quiet sniffle grabs my attention and I look at her to find a tear rolling down her face. Why is she crying? I was careful not to hurt her. She’s just not letting herself enjoy this. 

 “Shhh...don’t cry, you trust me,” I gently command, speeding up the pace. She stops crying and starts sniffling. She feels so good. I rub my hands up and down her body, settling them on her hips so that I can have something to hold on to. I hear her whimper. I sigh, I guess I’ll have to command her. She was doing so well, but I want her to enjoy it one way or another. “You like I what I’m doing, you think it feels good,” I gasp, feeling myself prepare to cum. Her eyes soften and I feel her inner walls relax around me. Then she lets out a moan which sends me over the edge. I pump my seed into her until it seeps out of her hole from around me. She didn’t get to cum. I kiss her, her eyes are closed. I lick my way down to her ear and nibble on her ear lobe. “Cum,” I whisper.

I feel her body shudder under me and our cum mixes together, seeping out of her. She gasps, like it’s painful. No, it probably just feels really good. I pull out and she doesn’t move from her position as I roll on my side next to her.

 “Oh yea, you can move now,” I say, remembering my command from before. She moves her arms from over her head and rolls so her back is facing me. I trace my finger tips down the scares lining her back, ignoring her sudden flinch at my touch. 

“How did you get these?” I quietly ask, continuing to trace them.

“Belt,” she sneers. I flinch at the tone of her voice. She sounds hurt and angry. She just needs to relax a little. 

“Let’s take a bath,” I decide, getting up. Walking into the bathroom, I quickly draw a bath and get in. “Come here and get in the bath darling,” I command. She stumbles into the bathroom a few seconds later, reminding me that she is still very intoxicated. Her body has multiple marks in it from where I claimed her. She hobbles in and plops down in the bathtub in front of me. I can see her body physically relax as she sinks into the hot water and I force her to lean back against me and sighs as she tenses back up again.

 “Relax sweetheart,” I command. She relaxes, her head resting against my chest and under my chin. “Good girl,” I praise her, starting to gently wash the front of her body with a sponge. I make it down to her breasts before I feel myself start to harden again regardless of my recent orgasm. I can go again. “Turn around and face me,” I command. She turns and I pull her onto my lap. I grin my cock against her clit to help her get the idea. Her eyes slightly widen and my face is suddenly stinging in pain. She hit me! She actually has the nerve to hit me! I do the first thing that comes to mind and smack her back twice as hard. Her head hits against the tile wall with a loud thud.

“You little bitch! You never appreciate anything I do for you. Why won’t you just let me make you happy?!” I yell. She scoots away from me, her back pressed againrist the far wall of the tub.  

“I don’t wanna,” she says. For the first time, I see how much she actually hates me. Everything is showing through her eyes. I stand up, grab a towel, and dry off. I feel my eyes burning and try to stop myself from crying. Why is she affecting me like this? We made so much progress tonight then she went and did this. 

“Get out and go to your room. When you get there get into bed and go to sleep,” I harshly command. She gets up and walks out of my room, dripping wet. I hear her bedroom door close and I flop down on my bed. What am I going to do with her? 


	13. Playing Pretend (River’s POV)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So sorry y’all this is kind of a long ass chapter and a lot develops in River’s and Killgrave’s relationship. The beginning of this chapter is meant to be kind of confusing because River is having trouble distinguishing Killgraves thoughts and ideas from her own. I’m trying to write him more in character and I think I’m pretty close now, so I hope you enjoy.

“Get out and go to your room. When you get there get into bed and go to sleep,” he says, his voice full of anger and sadness. I get out of the warm bathtub and somehow end up at my door. My vision is blurry and my stomach is in knots. My cheek is burning from where he slapped me. 

_Get into bed and sleep_

I crawl under the covers and fall asleep, thinking of him. 

I crack open my eyes to find light streaming through my windows. I groan and turn on to my back, my bedding slightly damp from me getting into it soaking wet from the bath. My body hurts, like I was ran over by a truck. What the hell happened last night? I check the time on the clock, finding that it reads 1:38. Exactly 14 hours since he commanded me to sleep. I’m instantly surprised that he didn’t wake me up to eat breakfast with him or whatever. 

My stomach suddenly does a flip and I roll out of bed and stumble to the toilet, making it just in time to dispel my stomachs contents. What happened last night?! I don’t remember a lot. I dry heave for a while, not having anything else to throw up. My head is throbbing, but my stomach feels better. I stand up to find that I am butt naked. Shit. I quickly assume that I had sex with him last night as I spot new marks all over my body. No... I didn’t have sex with him, he raped me. I shiver, the small hairs on my arms standing up. I need to shower. I need to get him off of me. 

I start the water and step right in, already nude. The water somewhat helps my head and I struggle to remember last night. We were at the opera. No... he made me go to the opera with him. I remember falling asleep on him because my mind and body were both exhausted and pushed past their limits. Then, we went to dinner and everything’s a little fuzzy after my second drink... After the second drink he made me drink. 

I get out of the shower and brush my teeth with a tooth brush I find in one of the drawers to get the taste of vomit out of my mouth. What do I do now? He’s usually here to tell me. He would want me to get dressed in a dress. No... that’s not right. What do I want to do next? I think about it for a minute. I guess that I do want to get dressed... I go over to the dresser and shift through my options. 

What would he want me to wear? No... damn it, that’s not right. What do I want to wear? Regular clothes. I put on a pair REGULAR underwear and a sports bra. Why is his so hard? I can’t think! My head is painfully throbbing and lagging behind. I change into a pair of leggings and a soft flannel I find in the closet. He would disapprove. He wants me to dress nice and wear pretty things, maybe I should change. No... who cares what he wants?! It’s my body and I can dress how I want to dress. 

I suddenly realize that his commands are driving me to insanity. I’m going crazy and he’s the one who is causing it! I should go talk to him while I can. He doesn’t like it when I talk to much. Wait... I can talk however much I want to talk. He’s not controlling me... for now. 

I slowly open my door and peer out into an empty hallway. I freeze when I hear voices. 

“Are you sure that she’s here?” I hear Kilgrave ask in a frantic tone. 

“Yes, she’s looking for you sir,” answers another voice that I recognize as Kilgrave’s body guard. 

“Bloody hell! She’s ruining everything. We’ll have to move today,” Kilgrave replies, sounding angry and... scared? Shit. I’m not going anywhere with him, even if he wants me too. I quietly close the door and go to the window. I look down and to my dismay, discover that if I would jump from this height, I would probably die. I have to go out there. I have to face him. 

I open the door and walk out of my room, my body seems to ache more and more the closer I get to him. 

“Good afternoon,” he greets, from the table. There’s a nice spread of food and my stomach growls, not having anything left because I threw up. 

“Afternoon,” I mumble back, sitting on the opposite side of the table. I grab a plate and load it with food, struggling to try and seem confident in front of him. He wants me to eat more. I feel his eyes on me watching my every move. He loves me. I pick up my fork and start to eat. 

“Do you remember what happened last night?” He asks, watching me eat. Why isn’t he eating? 

“Up until halfway through dinner. Why aren’t you eating?” I reply, trying to change the subject. I don’t want to know what he did to me last night after dinner. My body is sore and marked so it was definitely bad. 

“I already ate, I insist that you try the juice, it’s very good,” he says, pushing a glass full of orange juice towards me. Was that a command? I don’t think so, maybe I should just do it so he won’t command me. 

I reluctantly pick up the glass and take a sip. It’s very good. I put the glass down and look at him. What’s going on? 

“How’s your head? It’s called a hangover if you’re wondering,” he continues, casually picking up a newspaper. 

“It hurts, but I think I’m feeling a little better now that I have some food in my stomach,” I reply, continuing to eat. My head is actually feeling better, now feeling lighter and clear. My vision starts to darken around the edges. I drop my fork and rub my head. 

“What the hell?” I stand up, only to fall down again, fighting to stay awake. He drugged me. He actually drugged me! I see him still sitting in the chair looking at me with sorrow in his eyes, then, everything goes dark. 

The first thing I notice is the loud sound coming from all around me, so I tone down my hearing. My head is resting on something cool, which helps dull the throbbing ache. I slowly open my eyes and look through the glass onto the wing of an airplane. I jerk upright, groaning at my soreness and looking around. I’m strapped in a nice seat with no one else around me. Where is HE? I look down and am relieved to find that I am in the same clothes. Am I allowed to unbuckle the seat belt? This is only my second time on a plain. Kilgrave won’t care. I unbuckle the belt and stand up on shaky legs, walking into the aisle. 

“Good evening darling,” says a familiar, scary, and quiet voice from right behind me. I jump and spin around. My shoe gets caught in one of the seat things and I fall backwards onto my butt with a thud. I look up at him as he towers over me with a disapproving gaze. I’m scared of him. The realization sends more fear pumping through my veins and goosebumps crawling up my arms. This is not like before, I’m actually terrified of him. 

“What the hell did you do to me?!” I manage after a few seconds of silence. I’m sure he knows how terrified of him I am. I stand up again and he thankfully takes a couple steps back, giving me space. I better play nice for now, we are trapped together in this plane going only God knows where. 

“Don’t be mad. I just needed to get you on the plane,” he says. 

_I’m not mad._

“Why? You didn’t have trouble commanding me to do things last night!” I snark right back. 

“I don’t want to fight with you River. You don’t want to fight with me either,” he says. I feel the fight drain out of my body. I can’t fight him. I glare at him. “We need to have an honest conversation, so you will tell the truth when I ask you questions,” he finishes. 

“I will tell the truth when you ask me questions,” my voice repeats. I let my anger swell and realize that I can be angry with him. Anger and madness are two very different things. 

“I’m sorry, I don’t want it to be this way, but I have to know if you’re telling the truth. Just sit where you were sitting and relax,” he says, shifting from foot to foot with his hands in his pockets. My body moves me back to the spot where I woke up and I feel myself relax. 

“Please don’t make me do this,” I beg. If my responses make him angry then I’m in trouble. I don’t think I’ll be able to handle one of his punishments now. I still feel tired and a bit disoriented from the drug he gave me. 

“It’s okay. You won’t be punished for telling the truth. I want to hear your opinions,” he says. 

“That’s a first,” I growl back. 

“How do you feel about me?” He continues, like I didn’t say anything. 

“I don’t like you,” I hear myself reply. He smirks for some reason. 

“Last time I asked you something like that you told me that you hated me. Now you just don’t like me. I call that progress love,” he says. When did I stop hating him? I can’t remember. “What does it feel like when I control you?” He asks. 

“It feels like my thoughts are being pushed under water and held there. It feels like I’m drowning, I can’t think. Even after your command wears off I can still feel it. Like this morning I... I didn’t know what to do because you usually tell me,” I blurt out. Ahh shut up, stop talking so much!! I just have to tell the truth, not tell him everything. There it is, the loophole. 

“So... It feels like my commands disrupts your way of thinking?” He recites slowly, he’s actually trying to understand this. I roll my eyes. 

“I’d say more like shatter, but yes,” I reply. He looks thoughtful.

“Do you like sex?” He asks after a minute. 

“No,” I reply. I would probably like it if I actually wanted to have it with him, but I don’t. 

“Remember what happened last night,” he commands. My memories suddenly sharpen a little more. He licked my vagina and it felt really, really good. Then he raped me. And he almost did it again. The hand sized bruise across the side of my face makes sense now. I look at him with wide eyes. 

“Did you enjoy what we did last night?” He rephrases. 

“Y-yes,” I stutter. 

“What did you like the most?” He presses. 

“Why are you forcing me to relive what you did to me?” I snarl back, he never told me I couldn’t talk. “I don’t want to think about what you did to me or tell you how I felt about it! You can’t force me to do this! You are evil!” The plane starts to shake. I can feel everything. My anger is strong, making me feel confident. The plane shrivels and starts to fall. “You’re the spawn of Satan himself, you nar-“ 

“Don’t use your powers, calm down, and sit back down,” he says, sounding remarkably calm regardless of the atmosphere around us. My hold on the plane releases and I feel myself calm down and sit back down. The plane evens out and continues moving. I stare straight ahead, wanting to kill him. Why is he being so weird? I feel his gaze burning into me. 

“I understand that this will take time,” he mutters quietly to no one in particular. 

“Oh, so you won’t control me for a day, then you’ll take over my body for the next one?” I blurt. 

“I’m going to try something new. I know that you don’t like me, but you want to try and make this relationship work,” he gently says. 

The command wiggles its way into my brain, mixing my version of reality with his. “Now tell me what you liked the most about last night,” He says. 

“It’s a tie between slapping you and..” I try to desperately fight it. Don’t tell. Don’t tell. 

“And? Tell me what else,” he pushes. My mind is getting foggy. His words are mixing with my emotions and opinions. He’s to strong for me to fight off, but I try anyways. What is fueling my fight, I have no idea, but I know that it is important. 

“And when you did that thing,” I reply, not able to say it. 

“What thing?” He asks, smirking. He knows what I mean, but he’s going to make me say it. 

“When you did that thing with your mouth to my vagina,” I feel my face burning. This is humiliating. I wouldn’t mind if he did that again though just because of how good it felt. Does that mean I want it since felt good? I don’t know enough about this to figure it out. 

“You tasted even better than I thought you would. I can make sex feel good too if you give me a chance and let yourself enjoy it,” he says, his lips brushing my ear. A tremor rakes through my body. I don’t want him to do this. He kisses down my neck and I grit my teeth so hard I’m afraid they will crack. 

“Please stop,” I whisper, mortified that I actually like this. I’m growing used to his touch and his lips along my skin. I still don’t like it, but it’s a lot more tolerable than before. I actually find myself enjoying it sometimes. He suddenly starts sucking on a spot on my neck, causing me to squirm. 

“Do you really want me to stop?” He asks, still kissing me. 

_Tell the truth_

“No,” I hear myself reply. I feel his lips tug into a smirk as he continues his assault across my chest. He gently pushes the flannel down my arms, leaving me in a tight undershirt. Then, he tilts my chin up and our lips meet. It isn’t rushed or hungry like it usually is. It’s soft and romantic, the opposite of him. I find myself kissing back, his lips feel soft and inviting, I don’t really mind this. It’s better then him raping me. But do I want it? I like it, so maybe I do want it. No, my body wants it. My mind doesn’t. My body is betraying me. 

“We’re beginning the decent, please fasten your seat belts,” says a loud voice. He breaks contact and leans back. 

“How was that?” He asks. 

“That was... good,” I respond, still feeling him on my lips. I’m in a daze for a minute until I force myself to ask him our destination. “Where are we going?” 

“Paris,” he says, straightening his jacket and connecting his seatbelt. I put my belt on too.

“Why?” I manage. I kind of liked London, even though I didn’t get to see much of it. I suddenly discover an empty pit where someone else used to be. Someone important, but I can’t remember who. 

“I just needed a change of scenery,” He lies. He actually lied to me! We’re running from someone and if it’s who I think it is, then she will hopefully find us soon. 

“Well next time you don’t have to drug me,” I respond, feeling uncomfortable as the plane starts to shake. I grip the arm rests very tightly.

“Would you have come with me on your own? And relax, it’s turbulence,” he says. I don’t answer that. We both know that I wouldn’t of come willingly. This Jessica girl must be very good if she was able to track us to London, she especially must hate Killgrave for whatever he did to her. Hopefully she will find us soon and maybe even kill him.

We land smoothly and exit the plane holding hands after he gives me a few “precaution” commands. I let him without a fight, after all, 

_I want to make this relationship work._

I audibly gasp as we step out of the airport. The view is even better than it is in the movies. He smirks and gives me a minute to admire the beauty around us. I can see the top of the Effie tower and the dome tops of the other old buildings. I’ve never seen anything like this, growing up in a small town in Tennessee then moving into the city. 

_It’s amazing. I love it._

“Common darling,” he says, breaking me from my trance. He pulls me into a cab that’s waiting to pick up passengers outside. “Take us to the nearest 5 star hotel,” he tells the driver, putting his long arm around my shoulders. I tense my muscles. 

“Can we get some food or something? I’m really hungry,” I say, trying to ignore how much I hate his touch. I only had a few bites of food this morning, or whenever he drugged me. 

_I want to make this relationship work._

“Sure. Do you like it here?” He asks. 

“The scenery is nice,” I reply. That’s the truth. I don’t like being here with him. “How many times have you been here?” I ask. I’ve learned that he loves to talk about himself and the more he does that, the less he will command me. He gives me a weird look. 

“It’s my fourth or fifth trip,” he replies, crossing his long legs in front of him after a minute. 

“What do you like the most about it?” I continue. 

“It’s the city of love River, just being here puts us in a romantic atmosphere,” he replies after thinking about it for a while. “I appreciate that you’re putting in some effort here too, I can see that,” he says, giving my shoulder a little squeeze. I lock my muscles even more. “Why don’t you like it when I touch you?” He asks, obviously seeing the tension in my body. He sounded more hurt than angry. 

“I’m afraid that you’ll hurt me. No one has ever touched me the way you do without inflicting pain,” I reply. I hate how he can make me tell the truth like this. I’m being forced to open up my soul to him. 

“I will never hurt you like he did River. You know I won’t,” he says softly. “I know how you feel,” he continues. His eyes look softer now, like he is actually feeling sympathy for me. 

“There’s no way you know how it feels to be afraid of everyone around you. To be worried about what your father will do to you when you get home, or to your sister if you’re to weak to take whatever he decides to do to you,” I snark back. 

“Do not assume to know-“ he yells, before taking a deep breath “About my past. Believe it or not, you’re not the only one who had a horrible childhood. My parents were scientists bent on turning me into a freak. I grew up in a laboratory for Christ’s sake,” he says, his tone softer. I try to respond, but I realize that 

_I don’t want to argue._

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have assumed,” I hear myself apologize. 

_I want to make this relationship work._

“It’s okay, that was a long time ago for me. Someone recently taught me that it’s not so much about what happened in the past, but more about what you plan to do in the future. And I plan on building a future with you,” He says, taking my hand. I let him, 

_I know that he won’t hurt me like father did._

The car comes to a stop in front of a large building where we exit the cab without having to pay. Killgrave, leading me by the hand, strolls in like he owns the place. He marches us up to the front desk. 

“You’d like to give us the presidential suit,” he says with a sweet looking smile. 

“Yea, here’s the key card,” she says, handing us the card. 

“Excellent. We will be needing room service tonight and have someone go to he airport and get our luggage,” he commands, before leading me through the beautiful halls and into an elevator. He’s definitely been here before. As soon as the door closes, he forces me against the wall and kisses me like usual, hard and aggressive. I whimper and put my hands on his chest, pushing him away. He lets me before taking a very small covered syringe out of his pocket. His eyes are shinning with lust and mischief.

I reel back only to be met by the wall. He’s going to drug me again. “You seem to like it when I don’t control you, so I will give you a choice. You can suck me and let me pleasure you, or I will give you a shot of this,” he holds up the vile. I gulp. 

“What is that?” I hesitantly ask as he steps closer to me in the already cramped space of the elevator. 

“That’s for me to know and for you to maybe find out,” he says. “You have 5 seconds to decide, or else I’ll choose for you,” He says, his eyes glistening. Shit! Whatever is in the vile can’t be good. I’ve given blowjobs before, this won’t be bad and it will be with my own free will. Well... almost. That drug could be anything. 

“I’ll suck you,” I say quietly. I’ve sucked father hundreds of times. I can do this. I don’t know about the pleasure part though. 

“Do you promise? If you go back on it then you’re giving me permission to control you,” He says. No. Anything but that. I’ll do practically anything to avoid his control at this point. 

“I promise,” I mutter. 

“Good choice,” he says, putting the syringe back away. It’s better than rape. I’ll be sure to make it quick. “You desire me,” he whispers lowly into my ear, before he starts to kiss me. I kiss back, 

_I want him. I desire him._

“Stop the elevator,” he says against my lips. I move towards the buttons. “Use your powers,” he says. I command the metal chain pulling the elevator up to stop moving. It does, stopping the elevator with it. His hands run up and down my back, ending at my butt where he squeezes. I let out a surprised yelp. 

_I desire him._

My hand moves to his trousers where I feel a hard bulge in the fabric of the pants. I’ve never done this before, so I cautiously rub my palm against him, causing him to moan in my mouth. This is what people do on Tv and I’m guessing it’s right based on his reactions. 

“You’re so beautiful,” he breaths. I feel myself start to kiss him back, our mouths locked together. His tongue moves around mine with a practice and skill that I know I lack. He’s good at this. “Take us up,” he says. I command the metal in the elevator to move up faster than it normally would. We reach the top in a few seconds. The door opens and he grabs my hand, leading me to the door. He opens it using the key card and once the door shuts behind me, he’s kissing me again. I start to take off his clothes as he starts to take off mine. I feel myself start to panic, I definitely don’t want this to end up with sex... no, Rape. I don’t want to be raped. 

He suddenly pulls down my dress and it pools around my ankles. I step out of it while I slide his belt out of its loops and unbutton his pants. He suddenly sits back and I realize that we are in a bedroom. He positions himself so his back is against the head board. Just do what you promised to do, then be done. It’s just a blowjob. 

“Strip for me. And make it good,” he commands from on the bed. I feel my face heat up as I slowly make a show of taking off my bra and panties. He said just a blowjob. That’s all I promised. I’m left completely naked. “Come here,” he commands, patting the bed. I walk over to him and scoot close to him like he wants me to my breathing accelerates and his fingers trace along my arms, leaving goosebumps again. “Relax. We’re going to take it slow,” he says. 

“P-please don’t control me. I’m doing this on my own. Just let me do it,” I say quietly. This is what my life has been reduced to, arguing whether he would mind control me to suck his cock or do it on my own. He looks thoughtfully at me for a minute. Don’t make me a prisoner in my own mind. 

“Fine. But you may not hurt me in any way,” he says slowly. He’s trusting me. He’s letting me do this. I sigh before I get up and throw my legs around his torso before kissing him. If I please him now, maybe he’ll be better later. His mouth drops a little in surprise, but he soon kisses me back. I let his command over take me and give into my desire. 

_I desire him_

I’ve never done this before, but I gently kiss down his chest and stomach before latching my fingers over the waistband of his boxers and pulling them down. His hard member bounces free. I take a shakey breath, I can do this. I glance up to find him looking down at me approvingly and almost lovingly. I drop my eyes and kiss the head of his cock before getting it into my mouth. 

_Relax_

I can do this. I’ve done this hundreds of times before. I can almost take him completely down, but my gag reflex kicks in preventing me from taking him any further in my throat. I start to suck and even swallow around him to get him off as fast as possible so I can sleep. He moans above me and runs his hands through my hair. 

_“Good job whore. You’re finally learning,” father moans. “Just like that. Atta girl,” he praises, forcing my head a little lower to take him further in my mouth. I gag and try my best to relax. “That mom of yours is shit at cock sucking, but you’re a pro now,” he says. I feel sick._

“River,” moans a new voice. It’s loud enough to bring me out of my flashback. I try to calm my breathing and I know that he is about to cum, regardless of what I just went through. I hope he mistakes the tears running down my face for sweat because if he sees that I’m crying, he’ll be furious. I pull myself together in time for him to hold my head in place and buck his hips up so he’ll cum in the back of my throat. I try to swallow it all, but he pulls my head up and finishes on my face and chest. He actually came on me. I close my eyes in humiliation. 

“Come here,” He breathlessly says. I crawl up to cuddle with him. My rapist, the devil in human form. The spawn of Satan himself. The evil- “What are you thinking about?” He asks. My brain struggles to come up with an answer that wouldn’t get me punished. 

“You,” I manage after a few seconds of silence. I feel beads of his cum drip run my face and have to stop myself from throwing up. 

“Good girl. You look even more beautiful than usual covered in my cum,” he praises, before tilting my chin up and kissing me. I allow him access to my mouth, to humiliated and tired to fight him now. “You’re giving into me,” he whispers against my lips. One of his hands goes to my clit and he starts circling it. I can’t hide the half moan and groan that escapes me. I suddenly realize that he somehow switched our positions so I am laying under him. My thoughts crystallize. 

“Wa-wait! This wasn’t part-“ 

“Yes it was darling. If you remember, you agreed to suck me and let me pleasure you. Unless you’re going back on our deal,” he says, still rubbing me. I feel pleasure roll up and down my spine. I like this. I don’t want this, but my body does. 

“No,” I quietly respond. He frowns for a minute before moving to kiss me. I let him. 

“Let yourself enjoy this,” he softly whispers, sounding hesitant. The little fight that is in me is suddenly gone. I moan against his mouth as he adds more pressure to my clit. He smirks and licks a line down the side of my face to the bottom of my neck. His tongue feels hot and moist against my skin, it feels... good? He takes one of my nipples in my mouth and works it to hardness while I squirm above him. I promised to let him do this, I can’t go back now. Plus, 

_I’m enjoying this._

He moves to the other nipple while I’m moaning like a whore above him. I feel his smile against my skin. He’s enjoying giving me pleasure. That is weird. I get to lost in my thoughts that I yelp as I feel his hot tongue against my clit. My hands are somehow tangled in his hair. This feels so good. This is wrong. He’s making me enjoy this way to much. A title wave of pleasure washes over me as he drives his tongue into my entrance. I moan even louder as he starts to use one of his hands to play with my clit again. My breaths started coming out in half pants. 

“Say my name,” he huskily says from below me. 

“K-Kilgrave,” I moan. I’m trying to hard to fight it, but I know I’m going to cum soon as skillful as he is. Uggg, this feels incredible. “I’m- I’m close,” I stutter, not sure why I’m telling him this. 

“Cum for me,” he says, I can feel his stubble scrape my thighs and I finally come undone as he gently sucks on my clit. He stays between my legs and continues licking me, bringing me down from my orgasm. Everything feels to sensitive. 

For a few minutes, I don’t see anything. My body just feels like it’s flying through clouds of pleasure. There’s no pain, I feel free. I feel a soft wet pair of lips caress my own and I weakly kiss back, feeling really tired. 

“Not yet beautiful. You need something in your stomach first,” he says, helping me sit up against the head board. 

“But I’m tired,” I groan. 

“You feel awake now,” he says, an amusing tone to his voice. My eyes shoot open and jerk up and out of his grip. 

He just smirks, getting out of bed and pulling up his boxers. I pull on my panties and bra. My vagina feels wet against the fabric, grossing me out. “Leave the rest off,” he says, grinning. I suddenly realize that we are not done for the night. That’s not fair! I did what I promised to do. 

I quickly go into the bathroom and wash his cum off of my face before exiting again. Dressed in a unbuttoned up shirt and boxers, he leads me out of the bedroom and I get to look around the suite. It’s really nice, but I don’t expect anything less from him. I move to the window and push the curtain back to look over the view. I can see the Effiel tower and it looks amazing. He picks up the phone. 

“Yes, send it up,” he says into the phone, before hanging up. He’s behind me in a second, lacing his hands over my stomach and putting his chin on my shoulder. I try to ignore him. It’s better than rape. Just let him do this, I can handle this. “You’re trembling,” he quietly states. I urge my body to calm down and relax. 

“Shit, sorry. I’m just cold,” I lie, trying to calm my racing heart.

“You don’t have to apologize darling, I’ll just turn the heat up,” he says, letting me go. I sigh in relief and move away from the window. He’s on the opposite side of the room turning up the heat from the thermostat. In all honesty, I’m not cold, the temperature is fine. Someone knocks on the door and Kilgrave opens it, quietly talking. I try to use my hearing to tune in. 

_Don’t use your powers_

Damn it. Kilgrave pulls in a cart with a bunch of food on it. My stomach audibly growls as he rolls the cart towards me. I haven’t eaten in a while. I cautiously move towards the food, only to be stopped by Kilgrave with a hand to my chest. 

“Let me feed you,” he says. I feel my face flush, I will not let him feed me like I’m a two year old. I try to come up with a good excuse to stop him. 

“I can do it myself,” I weakly manage. He cocks up one of his eye brows, probably shocked that I’m fighting back again after just giving into him. He looks at me quizzically for a minute. “Please. It’s just...We’re going really fast. I just need some normality,” I clear up. His eyes soften a little and hugs me. 

“Okay darling. I love you and I want you to be happy,” he says, kissing my forehead. I suddenly start to feel much happier and less like crying. He moves the two covered platters from the cart onto a wood table. He sits down and leans back in his chair. “Common. Don’t be shy,” he says, gesturing to the chair across from him. I force myself to sit down, our knees brushing. He smirks and lifts the lids to both of our plates.

There’s stake and asparagus on both plates. I lift my silverware and immediately start cutting the stake. He also starts cutting his meat and I feel his eyes burn into me as I take the first bite. It’s so good. 

“What?” I ask, after finished chewing. I’m really hungry. It seems like I can’t get enough food since after I woke up from being shot all healed up. It’s really weird. 

“Sweetheart, what are you thinking about?” He asks, playing with his food. 

“A lot,” I respond. He never told me to be specific. I suddenly realize that I should be more careful with what I say. If I make him angry, then he may rape me again. I really don’t want to be put through that again. 

“Tell me,” He commands, leaning forward. 

“I- I’m not ready to have sex with you,” I say. An idea suddenly pops into my head. If I can convince him that I liked it, but didn’t want to do it then maybe he will leave me alone for a while until I feel “ready”, which I never will. It will keep him away from me until Jessica can find us.

“Why?” He replies in an arrogant tone. 

“It was okay, but I didn’t feel ready then and I still don’t now,” I respond, careful wording my response. 

“So you did like it?” He smirks. 

“The first few times hurt like hell, but after that it wasn’t all that bad,” I reply. His command from earlier wouldn’t let me lie that I liked it because I didn’t. He watches me closely and all I want to do is run away. He’s a monster and he will probably do it again. 

“Fine. We won’t have sex until you are ready. But we will continue pleasuring each other so you can get used to the idea of it,” he finally says. I let out a breath I didn’t realize I was holding. Thank you Lord! I hold back a smile, this is the best news I’ve heard in weeks. He won’t rape me! 

“Okay,” I agree, finally able to start eating again. 

The rest of dinner is weirdly silent with him giving me weird looks every now and than. 

“Go jump in the shower, I’ll join you in a minute,” he says. I shiver regardless of the temperature, he said he wouldn’t rape me, but I don’t trust him. I hope he can control himself. I go back into the bedroom where we just were and start the shower in the bathroom. After stripping, I step inside. My body starts jumping up and down. Shit. I can’t stop.

_Jump in the shower._

After I’ve counted about 20 jumps I hear him come in and start to take off his cloths. When he opens the door he has an absolutely hilarious expression plastered across his face. He looks shocked until realization passes over his features. “You can stop now,” he says. I stop jumping, giving him a glare. 

“If we’re going to do this, then you need to be more careful with your choice of words!” I growl, casually covering my breasts by crossing my arms over my chest. I move slowly, to show him that I’m mad and not covering myself. 

“Or what?” He smirks, joining me under the warm water, he moves behind me. His hands suddenly hook over my shoulders and his thumbs start to rub my stiff back. “You can’t threaten me love. I’m trying this because I love you and I’ve decided that if you won’t eventually love me back, then I will make you,” he says in my ear. “I’ve tried this method in the past and it didn’t work out,” He says. His thumb finds a not in my right shoulder and he presses on it. 

“How long do I have until you control me again?” I ask, struggling to not let him see how good this feels. My back is really tight. 

“We’ll have to have some rules until I can fully trust you, but I’ll give you two months. At that mark I will command you to be honest and ask you how you feel about me. If I like the answer then you may keep your free will, if not then I will make you love me. And why are you so bloody tense? Your back is in knots,” he says. Two months! That’s a lot of time. Jessica will hopefully find us by then if not, or I will escape by then. I’m not letting him rape me again. 

“I guess I’m not used to hotel beds yet,” I reply, which is partly true. It’s because of him! That stupid moron is making me so stressed out. Now I’m stuck, naked, with him in the shower. 

“Oh, maybe we can get a couples massage,” he suggests, finding another one. 

“That’s sounds nice,” I agree. If I can get him to trust me, I can leave him. I suddenly feel his thankfully soft cock press against my lower back and his hands run down to my hips. I close my eyes and tense up. Not again. “It’s to much. This is to much,” I blurt out, my voice sounding panicked. Please don’t do this. 

“Calm down darling. I won’t hurt you,” he sighs, moving his hips away from mine. “I’ll help you wash, then you will help me,” He continues. His hands disappear from my hips only to be back a second later, running soap through my hair. He’s gentle as he massages my scalp and runs the shampoo through my hair. It feels weird for him to be doing such an intimate task for me. I’ve never let anyone touch me like this. It’s better than rape. Even if he promised me he wouldn’t do it, I don’t trust him at all. He was just rubbing up against me for crying out loud! He has no self control. 

He makes me turn towards him, then tilts my head under the spray. Why does he feel the need to do this to me? I’ve been cleaning myself since I was really little. I don’t need him to do it for me now. Regardless of how I’m feeling, I let him hold my head under the spray. If I can convince him that he can trust me, then he may not command me to not try to escape anymore. As soon as he does that, I’m gone. 

He gently pulls my head out from under the spray once my hair is mostly clean of soap and all in my face. I wipe my eyes and flip it back, giving him a small glare. 

_I will help him wash_

The command hits me and I unfold my arms and grab the bottle of shampoo, putting some on my hands. Then, I reach up and rub some through his wet hair. He maintains eye contact the entire time, letting me know that he enjoys what he is putting me through. His hands wonder to my upper back when he pushes me against him and kisses me, his hair still soapy and soap dripping down in his face. 

_He won’t hurt me._

I softly kiss him back, his tongue enters my mouth and moves around mine. He’s so good at this... Wait! What the hell am I doing? I pull away, shocked that I actually started to enjoy that. He smirks and scrubs the rest of the shampoo out of his hair. I start to put conditioner in mine, hoping to get out of here as soon as possible. I hate the way he looks at my body, like he wants to fuck me like I’m a piece of meat. I don’t doubt that he would do that either. He already has, brainwashing me into believing that I enjoyed it. Maybe I did enjoy it though. I honestly can’t tell. 

“What are you thinking about darling?” He pushes. 

“I... I’m not sure,” I answer. He gives me a look. “I’m telling the truth. There’s just a lot going through my head right now,” I quickly say. 

“About me?” He presses, reaching around me and turning off the water. I shiver. 

“Mostly,” I reply, getting out and quickly wrapping a towel around myself so it’s covering my breasts and butt. He does the same thing, but just around his waist.

“I’m thinking about you too,” he admits. 

“What about me?” I ask, going into the closet but finding it empty. 

“Looks like our cloths aren’t here yet,” he smiles. I sigh, at least I have a towel. He moves past me and sits on the bed. “I was just thinking about your powers,” he says. Oh no, that’s not good...

“What about them? I can’t use them,” I reply, refusing to sit next to him. I settle on pacing in front of the bed. 

“You can use them now,” he states. My hearing automatically expands and I wince at the noises, so I tune it down to normal. I feel the metal throughout the building and feel myself relax now that I am in control of my abilities. “Does it make you feel more relaxed when you are able to use them?” He asks, obviously noticing my body shift. 

“Yes,” I reply, the truth being forced from me again. 

“I know that you don’t want me to control you, but I want to see how strong your abilities are,” he says, actually looking sympathetic. 

“Let me show you than. You don’t have to control me,” I reply. “Just ask,” I quickly add. 

“River,” he smiles. “Will you show me how strong you are?” He purrs. I feel my face heat up. He can make anything normal sound sexual. 

“Now?” I ask, stopping my pacing. It’s better than him controlling me. I don’t know what he wants me to do though. 

“Tomorrow,” he says. “I’ll take you somewhere special so you have plenty of room,” he says. I suddenly hear the elevator on our floor chimes open and the rolling of wheels along the floor following it. That must be our clothes.

“Clothes are here,” I say. He smiles and stands up. 

“Stay here and don’t make a sound until I get back,” he says, before leaving the room. I glare at the closed door, he didn’t have to do that. I sit on the bed now that he’s gone and I wait for him to come back. At least he hasn’t raped me yet. I can live with just “pleasuring” each other. He’s insane if he thinks that I will ever want to have sex with him. He treats sex like an everyday activity when it’s really something special that should wait until marriage. 

He comes back a minute later rolling two suitcases behind him. He hands one case to me and I roll it over to a chair and put it on top, unzipping it. I’m relieved to find a mixture of dresses and casual clothes. I turn my back to him and change into a bra and panties, thankful that I do this all the time at swimming so I don’t show him any of my body parts. I turn back towards him to find that he has changed into a white tee shirt and boxer shorts. At least he’s not sleeping naked. Sleeping. Shit, do I have to sleep in the same bed as him? 

“Um... Do we have to sleep together?” I ask in a quiet voice, finishing changing into a tank top and shorts. He gives me an unimpressed look and I know the answer already. I sigh loud enough so he can hear it and climb into the bed without another word. I feel his weight settle behind me in a minute, but to my surprise I do not feel his arm wrap around me. He’s giving me space. I suddenly find that I trust him more. 

I move as far as I can to the edge of the bed and find that I’m feeling exhausted from the day. I easily fall asleep. 

I’m surrounded by warmth when I wake up. I nestle into it further and find that there’s no where else that I’d rather be. As I come back to myself I discover that my legs are tangled with someone else’s and that there’s a soft hand fondling through my hair. 

_I like this._

“River,” he purrs from above above me. I feel something hard pressing into the side of my hip. I feel accepted and loved. I let my body sink into the warmth, it feels amazing. I feel at home. All the feelings suddenly stop and I groan. “River,” he says again, a small edge to his voice. 

I open my eyes to find that I’m nestled against Kilgraves chest. My left arm is thrown over his stomach while my right is under my head. I jerk upright and away from him back to my side of the bed. 

“Take it easy. You’re quite the cuddler sweetheart,” he says with a grin. I feel my face heat up. “It’s nothing to be embarrassed about. You were obviously starved of touch as a child and now your body wants to make up for it,” He says like it’s completely natural. 

_It’s nothing to be embarrassed about._

I throw the covers back and get out of bed, my thoughts feeling scrambled. Why did I feel safe with him? That’s never happened before. Powers. He must have used his powers on me. 

“Did you use your powers on me?” I stammer, turning to face him. He smirks. 

“Maybe. You were having a nightmare,” he shrugs. 

“You... you helped me out of it?” I question. That’s probably the most thoughtful thing he’s ever done for me. 

“I always do darling. I usually tell you to have good dreams, but this time I just made you feel safe and accepted,” he says, getting out of bed with noticeable morning wood. I look away, feeling my face heat up again. 

“Thank you,” I manage quietly. I remember all of those nights where I woke up screaming and alone. He actually helped me. 

“You’re welcome!” He berms. There’s an awkward pause. “I get them too sometimes,” he says more quietly. 

“You do?” I question. 

“Of course. I was also raised in a hostile environment,” he offers. I guess we are a little similar. “Enough of that. Let’s get changed for breakfast,” he says. I sigh. Why can’t we talk about something that actually matters for once? I quickly use the toilet and change into jeans and a t-shirt. I open the door and go out into the living area. “Stay in the suite,” I here him yell from the bathroom. I was close. He’s already beginning to trust me. 

I wonder to the window with the view again. Now that it’s light outside I can see everything more clearly. It looks amazing. I wander to the door to the deck and open it. I’m pretty sure that the deck is part of the suit. I step a foot out into the open and smile, going all the way out to the railing. The temperature is a little chilly and I make a mental note to grab a hoodie if we go outside. 

“How are you out there?” Comes his voice from behind me, a few minutes later, a hint of surprise in it.

“The deck is part of the suite,” I respond, casually turning to face him. 

“You look even more beautiful in the sun,” He says, walking towards me. My back is pushed against the rail and his torso is pinning me there. He tilts my chin up and kisses me. It’s still to much of a romantic gesture for me since I do not like him, but I kiss back anyways. If I can keep him happy this way then he won’t rape me. 

“I think you’re warming up to me,” he smiles, breaking the kiss. 

“I might be,” I tease back, trying to get he hang of flirting. I just have to make him think that the relationship is progressing even though it is not. Jessica will hopefully find us soon. She’ll help me. She’ll get me away from him. FAR away. He smiles then goes back inside, leaving me to enjoy the view. I hear him pick up the phone. 

“Have someone bring us up a fresh breakfast for two,” He commands before abruptly hanging up. Does he even know how much his command effects people? It’s like being put under a spell where you have no choice. He comes out on the deck a minute later. “I just ordered us breakfast,” he says, wrapping his arms around me like he did last night. 

“Thanks,” I mumble back. 

“So after breakfast, will you still show me what you are capable of?” He asks. I’m surprised he didn’t command me. Why is he asking now? He was going to command me last night and now he’s asking me. Probably because I told him I would without his command. I hate that I have to share my abilities with him, but it’s better doing it on my own than when I’m under his control. I’ll be sure to hold back too so he won’t know my full strength. 

“Yes,” I respond. 

“Are you cold again?” He asks from behind me, his hands move up and down my arms and I suddenly realize that I am trembling like last night. Why am I so scared of him?! I could kill him if he wouldn’t tell me not to harm him. Could I kill him? Would I be able to to take another human life out of this world, no matter how evil he is? I honestly don’t know. 

“Yea, I should have grabbed a hoodie,” I lie. 

“Well come back inside. I don’t want you getting sick,” he says, leading me inside. Something on one of the tables catches my eye. 

“Do you play chess?” I question, looking for something to do and maybe beat him at. I was in the chest team in middle and high school. 

“No. I don’t really see the point,” he responds, lazily sitting in a blue armchair. 

“The point is to win,” I say, furrowing my brows. He’s probably never won anything fairly in his life.

“I always win,” he bluntly states. 

“Yea, unfairly! I bet that you’ve never won anything without your powers,” I respond. His expression shifts. 

“What would you bet?” He smirks. 

“I don’t know! I don’t really have anything to give you, now, do I?” I snark back. 

“I bet a monitored phone call that I could beat you in poker without using my powers,” he responds with an actual smile. Why would I want a phone call? Who would I call? I feel something shift within me and suddenly I’m really sad. I miss someone. Damn it, it’s someone important. I’m pretty good a poker, I’m pretty confident that I can beat him. 

“Who would I call?” I cautiously ask. 

“Your sister of course, I’m sure she’d love to hear from you,” he responds. My sister. Georgia. It all comes back to me. 

“You... You told me to forget about her,” I stammer, more sadness taking over me. I was actually beginning to trust him. I miss her so much, it’s been way too long already. I feel my eyes burning from bushes tears. 

“That was before our agreement, I won’t tell you to do that again,” he covers. I feel so conflicted. There’s to many emotions. I need to workout. 

“That’s a deal,” I immediately respond.

“Hold on darling. What will you give me when you lose?” He says. 

“I’m not going to lose,” I snort. 

“We’ll see. How about making love?” He tries. I gag on nothing, trying to hold my stomach in. 

“No way!” I practically yell. I feel my heart beat accelerate and urge my body and mind to calm down. 

“Fine. Than what about another session like last night, with a bath after words?” He says, sounding slightly annoyed. I don’t want to do that either, but that is probably the least he will settle for. It’s worth it for G. I’m so desperate to hear her voice. 

“Deal,” I say quietly, sticking out my hand. He starts beeming and takes my hand. I like to make things official. He gently kisses the top of it, sealing our deal. 

“We’ll play tonight after we test out your powers,” he says. Someone gives a small knock at the door. He goes to open it, pulling in the tray. 

“Tell me the truth. Are there any drugs in the food?” He asks the poor man. 

“No. No drugs,” he says in broken English. 

“Y a-t-il quelque chose dans la nourriture qui me nuira?” He says in a different language. He can speak other languages?! Once again I find myself shocked. What did he say? I try to use my Latin brain to help. Something about food, then qui in Latin means ‘that’. 

“Non monsieur,” replies the man. That obviously means ‘no sir.’ Kilgrave seems satisfied with that, then closes the door in the man’s face. 

“We can’t take a chance after last time,” he explains. My stomach twists. I killed 4 people.. no... he made me kill them. 

“You speak French?” I respond, forcing myself to relax. I can leave soon. I just have to keep my head above the water. 

“Yes and a little Spanish,” he responds. That’s actually romanti... no! I can’t think about him like that. He clears his throat loudly a minute later and I look up to see that he has set up breakfast. He waits for me to sit down before sitting down and I start to load my plate with food. There is sausage, scrambled eggs, toast, fruit, and hash browns. “Talk about a lousy breakfast,” He smirks. 

_Talk about a lousy breakfast._

“One time at school I found a dead fly in my cereal,” I say, that was very lousy. Wait, he just commanded me! 

“Sorry. Just speak freely. I meant to be sarcastic,” he quickly says, looking frustrated. 

“You do realize how powerful you are though, don’t you?” I meekly ask, taking a bite of food. 

“I’m starting to,” he huffs. We continue eating in silence before he suddenly gets up and walks across the room. He comes back carrying the fancy chess board I saw earlier. “Would you be interested in teaching me how to play?” He asks I’m a humble tone. It’s the first time I’ve really heard him use that tone. I suddenly realize that he must feel embarrassed because he doesn’t know how to play. He has the mood changes and emotions of a child! 

“Sure. It’s pretty complicated, are you sure you’re up to it?” I arrogantly respond. 

“I’m up for anything love,” he responds with a dark smile. I feel my face flush and drink a glass of water before I respond. 

“Well... to start off,” I pick up a small piece. “This is called a pawn and it can move two spaces forward on the first move and only one space forward after that,” I start, handing him the piece. He rolls in between his nimble fingers. Next, I pick up the King. “This is your King. It’s the most important piece on the board, but also the weakest because if I’m able to capture it, then I’ll win the game. It can move one space in any direction as long as it won’t be taken in that space,” I continue, handing him the king. “Oh and right next to that is you’re queen. It’s the most powerful piece on the board because it can move in any direction as many spaces as you want,” I say, handing him the queen. He looks lost. “What have I taught you? Repeat it back,” I command. It feels good to be in control for once. 

“I think that this piece moves one space forward each turn,” he says, holding up the pawn. I nod. “This one is the King and it’s the most important piece,” he says, holding up the King. I nod again. “And this one is the queen and it’s the most powerful piece,” he says, holding up the queen. He’s actually learning. 

“Um... Good. The two sides are next. They’re the same 3 pieces on either side. So.. this one...” I pick up the bishop, “This one is called the bishop and it surrounds your king and queen on either side. It can only move diagonally back and forth,” I say, giving him the bishop. 

“What do you mean diagonally?” He questions, inspecting the bishop. 

“Um... I guess I’ll show you. I place a bishop on one of the squares and move it diagonally up and down. “You can also change lanes, like this. I slide it in a different way, staying on the same colored squares. 

“So it stays on the same color square?” He questions. 

“Yea. As long as they’re connected,” I respond. He nods his head for me to continue. “Now, I’m skipping this one for now and gong to this one,” I say, picking up the castle. “This one is one of your rooks. It can move vertically and horizontally straight from any square. Oh and I should probably tell you that you can’t just jump your pieces over each other. So if there’s a pawn in the way of your rook, you can’t move the rook until the pawn is gone,” I explain, handing him the castle. “Okay. So now but not least is the knight. The knight can move in variations of 2’s to 3’s. So...have you ever plotted points on a graph?” I ask, trying to think of a good example. 

“Nope,” he says, popping the p. 

“Well. Let’s just leave that for later than. What have you learned?” I ask. 

“Pawn, King, Queen, Bishop, Knight, Rook,” he says, pointing to the pieces as he goes. He’s actually kind of smart. I take a bite of eggs. 

“Okay. That’s good. Set your pieces up like I am,” I say, setting up my side of the board. He successfully sets up his side. “So I’m white and you’re black. White moves first, so I’m going to move a pawn. Oh and remember that the point is to win,” I say, moving out the pawn in front of my King. He mirrors my move. I move my bishop out to the middle of the board next. He does the same thing. “Are you just copying my moves?” I ask. 

“Maybe,” He smirks back. I sigh. He’s going to lose than. Next I move my queen as far diagonally as it will go. He does the same. Then I move my queen to take the pawn in front of his bishop. Four move check mate. 

“Checkmate. That means that I won,” I smile. 

“What? How?” He asks, studying the board closely. 

“You can’t move your king so it’s trapped. That means that I won,” I stick my tongue out. 

“Fine. Then let’s go again,” he says, setting his pieces back up. I smirk and set mine up as well. “I’ll go first,” he says, starting to move a piece. 

“Wow. Just switch the board around. White always moves first,” I say, switching the board around so I am black. He rolls his eyes before moving out his King pawn. I move out the pawn in front of my knight. He looks confused.

“You switched it,” he grumbles. 

“That’s the idea. It’s a game of strategy,” I reply. 

We end up playing two more games in mostly silence before he gives up. I only take it easy on the last game, drawing it out to take a while. Of course, I win both games. I’m just eating the fruit now, my appetite slowing. 

“You’re eating a lot,” he casually says. 

“I’ve just been really hungry lately,” I reply, finally pushing my plate away and standing up. 

“Well keep it up. You’re finally starting to look more healthy,” he states from his chair. I had noticed that lately. My hair and nails feel smoother than they have in the past and my ribs don’t stick out as much as they used to. “I like it. It makes me feel like I can hug you without breaking you,” He says, standing up and rotating his shoulders. “Are you ready to go?” He asks. Oh. I forgot about that. 

“One sec, let me grab a sweatshirt,” I reply. I hurry into the room and rummaged through my suit case until I find a sweatshirt. I quickly slip it on and go back out. He’s waiting by the door. 

“You could dress a little nicer you know,” he remarks. 

“I could, but I don’t want to,” I reply, hoping he wont force me to. 

“Fine. Let’s go,” He says, walking out of the door. Wait, he didn’t tell me to stay with him. I try to leave but my body slams into an invisible wall at the door frame. 

_Stay is the suite._

Damn it. He’s still walking away. 

“Wait! I can’t leave,” I defeatedly call from the door. He stops and turns around, smirking at me. 

“You will stay in my eye sight the entire time we are in public and will not draw attention to us,” he starts. “You may leave the suite now,” he finished. He didn’t command me a lot. I still can’t run because I have to stay in his eye sight, but I’m getting closer. I step out of the suite and run to his side once he turns around. I walk slightly in front of him so

_I will stay in his eye sight the entire time._

“That may have been to harsh. You don’t have to stay in my eye sight the entire time, just stay with me and don’t try to run away,” he modifies once we are in the elevator. I glare at him. 

“Where are we going?” I question. 

“Somewhere where we can test the limits of your abilities,” he says. 

“And where would that be?” I ask. 

“A train yard,” He casually says. A train yard? Hundreds of ideas about what he can make me do there run through my head. Shit. I’ve never really tested my limits, but I’m pretty sure I won’t be able to lift a train. 

“I’ve never tested my limits before,” I quietly say. His expression changes into a bright grin. 

“We can test it together darling,” he smiles. Even though I don’t want him to see what I’m capable of, but I am interested in seeing what I can do. 

He calls a cab to come pick us up this time instead of jumping into a random person’s car. He’s probably being more careful because he knows that Jessica is after him. I hope she finds us. 

“Take to the la petite Ceinture,” he said to the driver, once we are in the car. Is that the train yard? The driver nods and pulls into traffic. Killgrave plays with my hand in his lap and I let him, to nervous to fight him. What will he make me do? 

We get there surprisingly quick and we are soon walking through a train car graveyard. 

“How do you feel about this?” He suddenly asks. “Be honest.” 

“I’m nervous, but kind of excited,” I reply. 

“Good. So we know that you can pick up small things like cans but what’s the biggest thing you’ve picked up?” He questions. 

“I don’t know... probably the plane?” I respond. “I didn’t really pick it up, but I was still in control of it,” I reply. “But I was stronger then because of my emotions,” I tell him. “The biggest thing I’ve picked up is probably a set of lockers,” I say, leaving out that that was the first thing I had ever lifted using my powers. 

“Try lifting that car part over there,” he says, pointing to what looked like the rusted engine of a car. 

_Try lifting that car part._

“You don’t have to command me,” I say, commanding the hunk of metal to lift and float over to where we stand.

“Sorry. I didn’t mean for it to be a command,” he replies, sounding apologetic. 

“Well it was. With great power comes great responsibility,” I tell him. I can’t believe that I just quoted spider man to him. 

“Did you seriously just quote Spider-Man to me?” He snorts. 

“I was hoping that you wouldn’t catch it,” I smile back. 

“Are you kidding me? I’ve read all of those comics!” He exclaims. I frown...comics? 

“What about the movies?” I respond. 

“You can’t beat the original text darling,” he smirks. 

“How can you not have seen the movies?!” I drag out. 

“Well if they’re so good, we shall watch them together later,” he decides. “Now, can you try to move that car?” He asks. I sigh and focus in on the car. I feel the metal running through the frame and parts and command them to come towards us. The car slowly comes off the ground and levitates towards us. That was definitely more draining then moving the part from before, but it still wasn’t hard. 

“What’s next?” I ask. 

“Can you rip the railing off of those tracks over there?” He asks, pointing a set of railroad tracks a few meters ahead of us. I close my eyes and put my hand out, feeling the metal railing before commanding it to pull up and off the track. It slowly tears off of the track and flys up into the air. “Can you make it into shapes?” He continues. 

“I don’t know,” I reply, focusing in on the metal and commanding it to blob together into a solid ball in front of us. I suddenly start to feel kind of dizzy and drop the ball to the ground. Before he can comment, my hearing picks up the sound of a train coming this way. Shit! I just tore off the track. “There’s a train coming, I need to put the track back,” I quickly explain. 

“Well that’s bloody fantastic,” he grumbles, looking bored. I ignore my dizzy spell and his terrible attitude and command the metal to go back into a straight line. It slowly starts to unroll and I know that I won’t make it in time. I hear the horn again and know what I have to do. I know what I must do. I run over to the tracks and stand on them. “River-“ there’s a time of warning in his voice. 

“Tell me to stop the train,” I say to him. I can now see it rushing towards me. If it fell of the tracks at that speed, then many people will surely be killed. 

“Are you sure that you can do this?” He questions, looking me in the eyes. His expression is more serious then I’ve ever seen it before.

“Yes,” I lie. He kisses me before he presses his lips to my ear. 

“Stop the train,” he commands, before jumping off of the tracks. I hold my hand out and try to connect with the quickly moving metal object. I imagine it slowing down, but it only slows a little. I try to force myself deeper into the metal. 

_Stop the train._

My head starts to pound as I scream at it to stop moving in my head. The train slows down dramatically and stops, barely three feet ahead of me. That’s the last thing I see before I pass out.


	14. The Return of an Enemy (Killgrave’s POV)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Man. This is a short teaser like chapter and I hope that everyone will enjoy my plot twist. I think the name of his mini chapter is fitting because we will see two things return in this chapter; one is a person the other is a darker part of Killgrave that we thought was gone. We will see a very dark Killgrave in the next chapter so be prepared.

“River, wake up,” I command, shaking her shoulder. Her eyes flicker open and she groans. I sigh in relief. She is incredible. She can stop a moving train. She’s definitely stronger than I thought she was. 

People begin to exit the train to see what had stopped them. 

“Get back in the train and stay there until the authorities arrive,” I command the crowd before turning my attention back to River. I also notice that there is some blood under her nose as she gradually sits up. 

“We have to go,” I gently prod, helping her to her feet. She sways slightly and I wrap my arm around her waist to help support her body weight. We go back to the taxi that I instructed to wait for our return. I help her in, then go to the other side and get in. I feel slightly threatened by her now and suddenly realize how much metal that I’m wearing. “Don’t use your powers,” I command. Her body immediately tenses up. I sigh, wondering how she is still not comfortable around me. 

She uses the back of her hand to wipe the blood from under her nose. My command drove her to stop the train. Our combined powers are incredible, we can do anything! 

“That was amazing. You preformed excellently darling,” I praise her. 

“I didn’t know I that could do that,” she quietly says. I frown, realizing that she lied to me when I asked her that question earlier. 

“Why did you lie to me?”

“I didn’t. I knew that if you told me to do it, I would to everything in my power to do it,” she replies, meeting my eyes. She looks drained. 

“Do you want to stop and get some lunch?” I question, trying to command her as less as I have to. 

“That would be great,” she tiredly says, laying her head against the window. She looks sad. She was happy last night and this morning. Maybe I pushed her to much. I know that this will take time to work and I’m willing to wait this time. 

“Are you okay?” I ask. She looks at me with a slightly surprised expression on her features. 

“I guess. I’m just tired,” she replies. I think that it’s something else. Probably her sister.

“Tell me the truth. Do you miss your sister?” I ask. We still have to play poker tonight to see what happens. 

“Yes,” she replies, sounding slightly irritated. “We’re still playing tonight...right?” She hesitantly follows. 

“Of course. You will get a chance to fairly earn a phone call,” I reply, resisting the urge to reach out and wrap my arm around her because I know that she doesn’t completely trust me yet. If I give her space then she will come to me on her own. I know this because she is desperate for human contact and there is no one else around to give it to her. Every night she curls up closer to me and by the end of it, we are a tangle of limbs, having as much skin to skin contact as possible. 

I loved it when I woke up this morning because she was laying practically on top of me. Then, she smiled. A small general smile. Not a smirk, but a satisfied smile. I made her feel safe, accepted, and loved and she completely let herself go and enjoyed the moment. She needs to do that more often. 

I’m jerked out of my thoughts as the car is suddenly hit from the side River is on. I feel small pieces of glass cut my skin and the car rolls over on its side. My head hits the side of the car hard, causing me to see stars. Everything moves in slow motion after that. 

I slowly glance up at River to see that she is cut up badly and unconscious, her limp body only held in by the seat belt. I unbuckle my seat belt and groan when my body hits the bottom of the car. All of a sudden, the car is moving again, this time, back up the right way. I look over to see what is happening. 

“Jessica,” I growl. There she is, standing right outside of the car. Her hands are on the frame and she is glaring at me through the broken window. Her hair as dark as a ravens feathers and her skin as light as snow. Just as amazing as I remember her. 

“I was hoping that the impact would have knocked you out,” she she rudely acknowledges me. 

“What the bloody hell is going on?” I groan, getting out of the car. The world sways around me for a second, but I gain my composure quickly. 

“I’m taking her,” Jessica states. She opens the door to where River is sitting. 

“You will not take her,” I state, as if that will do anything. I suddenly realize that I am helpless without my powers. She can easily come over here and clobber me and I wouldn’t be able stop her. She surprisingly stops and starts to walk around the car, towards me. 

“Stop,” I stammer when she gets to close to me. She stops and looks down at her feet. Her eyebrows furrow in bewilderment. No. She has to be playing me. She just wants to get inside my head like she did at the dock that night. “You’re crazy if you think I’m falling for this-“ I gesture to her, trying to think of an appropriate word. “This act... again,” I say, walking around the car and unstrapping River. Jessica stays perfectly still. “Seriously Jessica? I’m not delusional. I will not fall for that again,” I state. What if I made her do something horrible to prove it. I glance at the unconscious driver in the front seat and a light bulb goes on in my head. “Jessica,” I start. She flinches like she was slapped. “Jessica, you’re going to kill the driver and enjoy it,” I test out. Jessica goes a shade paler than usual. 

“P-please don’t make me. I-I’m sorry,” she stammers, starting to walk around the car. This can’t be happening. She has to be acting. She walks past me with an expression of horror plastered across her face. She rips open the door and stops, looking like she is fighting my command. Shite. She might actually be able to be controlled again. I have taken two new batches of the power enhancement serum since the last time I saw her. What if she’s not acting? 

Her arms slowly move forward and she grasps the drivers shirt and pulls his body up from the steering wheel. He flops back, his body pliable and drained of fight. She looks at me, pleading with her eyes.

“Do it,” I command. I have to know that she is completely under my control. 

“Please. I promise that I’m not faking,” she pleads, her whole body shaking violently fighting my command. 

“Fine. Don’t kill him.” She relaxes. I get a better idea. I quickly look around and make sure that there are no cars around. “Get on your knees,” I command. She drops to her knees, in the dirt, at my feet. Revenge is my only motive now. I can worry about everything else later. She tried to kill me and I barely survived. Now I’ll pay her back. “You desire me Jessica,” I state. Her eyes dilate and she looks up at me through her think lashes. I feel myself hardening. 

“Don’t,” she pleads, actually looking terrified and aroused at the same time. 

“You want to suck me without causing me any harm and bringing me as much pleasure as possible,” I tell her. Will she actually do it? Her hands go to my fly and she has to try a few times to unzip it because her hands are shaking so badly. A small voice suddenly penetrates my skull.

“Wha... what happened?” Asks the groggy voice of River, slowly making her way out of the car. She is leaning heavily on the frame of the window for support. I push Jessica’s hands away and zip my fly back up, trying to tame my noticeable erection. 

“Are you alright? We were in an accident,” I tell her, turning my back to Jessica. I walk over to River and touch a deep gash over her eye. 

“J-Jessica!?” She says, looking over at the kneeing figure. I hate the way her eyes light up when she sees Jessica. I want her to look at me that way. She frowns and looks from her to me until realization passes over her features. “No,” she states, trying to back up. Her back bumps the frame of the car. She looks horrified. More anger pumps through my veins. 

“Tell me what’s wrong and be honest,” I command. She looks at me, obviously surprised that I commanded her. 

“I thought that she would save me,” River brokenly replies, looking at her feet. 

“Save you? From what?” I scoff.

“From you,” she replies, not looking at me. From me. Rage crackles up my spine. 

“I’ve never done anything to you! I’ve been kind and patient and loving. I’ve been generous and compassionate. I can’t believe that you have the nerve to even say that to me!” I yell. She shrinks back. 

“Don’t be mad at her you self absorbed prick! I told her that I would save her,” Jessica says from behind me. 

“Just shut up! Both of you!” I yell. I run my hands through my hair and adjust my ragged suit. We need a wardrobe change. I take a few deep calming breaths. River was playing me. She never had any intention of getting to know me. Why does this keep happening to me? My eyes start to burn with sadness and rage. They will both be punished severely. “Jessica get up!” I yell. She gets to her feet. “Both of you follow me,” I manage to say a little more calmly. I start walking, not bothering to check if they’re following me because I know that they will. Another taxi comes hurtling down the road and stops when I summon it. 

“What happened here? Is everything okay?” The female driver asks, getting out of the car. 

“Shut up, get in the car, and drive once we are all inside,” I say. The women does as I say and Jessica and River get in the car before I slide in. We drive in silence for a while. 

“Where do you want me to go sir?” The driver asks in a small voice. 

“To the nearest 5 star hotel,” I snap. It’s completely silent until we get to the hotel, where we all exit and leave with a free ride. I take both of them upstairs and into the suite. 

“Both of you sit on the couch and don’t move or talk to each other,” I command, storming into my bedroom and collapsing on the bed. My head and body are both sore and it just makes me angrier. How can I punish them? I have to make it bad so that they’ll never try to hurt me again. I’ll make them both my puppets again. River and Jessica said that they were aware when under my control, so maybe I can punish them that way. I take my time showering and patching myself up from the crash before going back out. 

They’re both sitting on the couch with the same defeated look on their face. Good. They should know that I’m in charge now. I will not let them play me anymore. “Both of you stand up and strip,” I command. They both stand up and start pealing off layers cloths until they’re naked and shivering. I wince as I take in Rivers state. Her entire left side is covered in dark bruises and the rest of her body is covered in gashes from the glass. Is she okay? No. I don’t care if she’s okay, I push away the part of me that still loves her. 

My eyes move over to Jessica. She looks skinnier then when we were together, but no where near as skinny as River. I feel a deep sense of something for both of them and I try not to feel it. I don’t want to feel anything anymore. I suddenly think of the perfect way to punish both of them. I need to do it through the ones that they love. They don’t care what happens to them, but they do care about what happens to their sisters. “Both of you sleep until I tell you to wake up,” I command, starting a timer on my phone. They both collapse instantly and I leave them alone. I think it’s time to test the extent of my new powers. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So when Killgrave found out that he was being played, I reverted him back to his old ways because the character does not like being taken advantage of. And sorry for the cliff hanger...


	15. Rage and grief

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So in this chapter I had Killgrave test out his “new” abilities on River and Jessica. Be warned there will physiological torture in this chapter for both Jessica and River. In addition to that, the perspectives in this chapter switch around, so the broken line (- - -) means that the perspective switched. I also put who it switched to right below the line. Hope you will enjoy!

(Jessica’s POV) 

“Jessica. Wake up, but don’t move and keep your eyes closed. Follow the sound of my voice. You’re floating over the soft white clouds of the sky. You feel relaxed and will listen to whatever I tell you,” He says from somewhere around me. 

_I’m floating over the soft white clouds of the sky and feel completely relaxed. I will listen to whatever he tells me._

“You will imagine that we are standing in Trish’s apartment and will see that she is there with me. She is standing by my side and holding a sharp knife. That is real. Keep listening to my voice, but in the dream.” I look around and find that we are in Trish’s apartment. How did u get here? I look around to discover that Killgrave is standing near the door with Trish by his side. My breath catches as I see the sharp knife in her hand. I try to talk only to discover that I can’t. What did that asshole do to me now? More importantly, what will he make Trish do? Trish lifts the knife and holds it out to me. 

‘This is your punishment for trying to kill me. Take the knife,’ he says. 

No. No. No. My feet walk over to her and I take the knife out of Trish’s hand. 

‘Kill her,’ comes the next order. 

Please no! I can’t, I won’t. I fight the command with all of my might, but my hand raises and I slide the knife in between her ribs. She gasps and clutches to my arms. I feel hot tears roll down my face and I drop to my knees with her, watching the light slowly fade out of her eyes. No. This can’t be happening. I try to say something to her to comfort her, but I can’t. I let out a broken sob which sounds more like a wail. I can’t do this. I can’t watch her die. I killed her.

The thought is enough to physically hurt me. There’s a sharp pain in the back of my neck, like a hammer hit me. I wince and start to whimper as it gets worse. Soon, I start to scream as the pain feels like a nail is being beaten into the back of my neck with a sledge hammer. Trish is looking at me with void eyes. She’s still breathing, but she’s gone already. 

No. I double over as the pain somehow worsens and soon it’s all that I can think about. Is this how Killgrave felt when I tried to kill him? 

_I suddenly feel really bad about killing him. He was nice to me and he gave me the best of everything._

I scream some more as the pain deepens. What is happening? He’s not even touching me?! 

_I shouldn’t have killed him. I was wrong to try to kill him. I need to apologize._

“I’m sorry,” I rasp out in between sobs and screams, looking up at him. He’s not convinced. “I’m sorry!” I croak again, not being able to say anything else. I’m so sorry. “Please, I’m sorry,” I beg. I somehow know that this pain is because of him. Another round of screams are forced from my mouth as the pain increases. I didn’t know that it was possible. “I’m sorry!” I scream again. He walks out of the room, leaving me alone to feel unimaginable pain, laying next to my dead sister. I’m sorry.  
\- - - - - - - - - -  
(River’s POV) 

“River. Wake up, but don’t move and keep your eyes closed. Follow the sound of my voice. You’re floating over the gentle waves of the ocean. You feel relaxed and will listen to whatever I tell you,” Killgrave says from somewhere around me. 

_I’m going to follow the sound of his voice. I feel relaxed and will listen to whatever he tells me._

“You will imagine that we are standing inside of your old house and Georgia is standing with me. She is wearing a metal necklace around her neck. That is real. Keep listening to my voice, but in the dream.” I look around and discover that we are in my old house. What the hell? How did I get here? Killgrave is standing next to Georgia near the couch while my feet are firmly planted by the kitchen. No. Not G. Killgrave smiles at me and I try to say something, but I can’t get the words out of my mouth. 

‘This is your punishment for breaking my heart. Use the necklace to kill your sister, using your powers,’ he says with a sneer. My powers automatically expand and I feel the metal necklace around her neck. No. I fight the command with all my strength, lasting about 40 seconds before I tighten the necklace around her neck to cut off her air supply. No. This can’t be happening. No. She collapses on the ground holding her neck and trying to get some room in between her neck and the necklace. I run across the room to be with my sister before she goes. 

“Please make me stop!” I yell up to Killgrave. He just smiles and puts his hands in his pockets. She makes a chocked sound and I cradle her head in my lap. Her face has taken a red tint to it, her eyes bulging slightly. No. This can’t be happening! I try to loosen my hold on the necklace, but I don’t succeed. No G! Please don’t leave me. My eyes burn with hatred and tears. I HATE him. I love her. 

I slip my hand into hers like she’s done so many times to me. She squeezes it hard and I only feel a glimpse of her pain. My heart feels like it’s beating too fast and suddenly there is a pain in my chest like I’ve been stabbed in the heart. I clutch my chest, not being able to do more than whimper. It worsens and I scream, laying down next to my dying sister. It feels like my heart is being ripped apart and I scream again, looking up to Kilgrave for help. 

_I shouldn’t played him like I did. He really cared for me and now he’s angry with me. I should have tried. I need to apologize._

“I’m sorry!” I rasp. Just save G, I will die to let her live. “Please, I’m sorry!” I yell again, my chest burning. Tears finally overfill my eyes and start to run down my face. Not G. Anyone but G. Her hand suddenly loosens in mine and I know that she is gone. “No!” I scream, the pain and grief too much for me to bear. I feel numb, like when he rapes me and my body gives into him. “I’m so sorry,” I brokenly my sob, the pain in my chest mixing with grief. The pain is more of a dull throb now, numbed out by my overwhelming grief. I feel like I just died.  
\- - - - - - - - - -  
(Kilgrave’s POV) 

I smile at my victory. This was a great idea for a punishment. I don’t have to make them physically harm themselves but they are still suffering. They are both in different rooms now. River is in her room and Jessica is in another bedroom. Jessica’s screams and whimpers echo around the suite, while River is completely silent, but shaking like she is having a seizure. I told her to imagine the worst pain possible in her heart and she screamed for a while until she went completely silent, just shivering. 

I decide to let them suffer for the rest of the night which was only about 4 more hours. I feel proud that I mastered hypnosis in only a few hours. I settle down in my bed and put some noise canceling earphones on to block out Jessica’s screams, then fall into an easy sleep. 

I slowly wake up, my head is throbbing and I wince at the pain. I groggily roll over and check the time. Seven hours. They have been under punishment for seven hours. Shite. I quickly get up and get dressed, not bothering to shower or shave. I run into Jessica’s room first, her screams are now whimpers because she lost her voice. 

“Jessica. In your vision, I enter the room,” I tell her, using my calming voice. I hear her breath hitch. 

“I’m sorrry,” she rasps, her voice long gone. 

“I forgive you. You feel no more pain,” I say, running a hand through her hair. Her body and facial muscles immediately relax. “Trish is dead now. You will believe that your vision was real. Now wake up,” I command. She bolts up from the bed, frantically looking around until her eyes land on me. I see a new kind of rage and fear flow through her beautiful hazel eyes and take a small step back. She brings the blankets up to cover her chest since she is still naked and glares at me. There’s finally a healthy amount of fear in her eyes and I smirk. She finally knows who is in charge here. She stays silent and casts her gaze down. I find myself a little disappointed. “You will shower, get dressed in a dress, and meet me in the living area. You will not try to escape or hurt yourself when you do this,” I say, leaving the room. 

Next, I go into River’s room she looks ghostly pale and is jerking around the bed, breathing heavy. The covers are bunched up around her waist because of her thrashing and I wince at the sift before me. Her entire left side is a dark blue/purple color. I wonder if she has any internal damage. I should call David. 

“River. I enter the room in your vision,” I say. Her breathing and movements become steady. Otherwise, she remains silent. She hasn’t learned her lesson if she isn’t apologizing. “I leave the room again,” I say. 

“Wait! I’m sorry!” She exclaims. “Please stay,” she brokenly begs. The tone of her voice makes something stir deep within me. Worry. There’s something wrong. No! I don’t care. She betrayed my trust and I must make her love me now. 

“I’ll stay and I forgive you,” I say, releasing some of my rage. “You feel no more pain,” she starts to shudder again. That’s strange, I told her not to feel any pain. “Georgia is dead now. You will believe that your vision was real. Now wake up,” I softly command. Her eyes flicker open, she rolls away from me, and starts to sob. “You will shower, get dressed in a dress, and meet me in the living area. You will not try to escape or hurt yourself when you do this,” I say, using the same command I used on Jessica. I look at her for a couple seconds longer, realizing just how fragile she really is. She’s not like Jessica. She’s so young and inexperienced and I just made her believe that she killed her own sister. I refuse to let myself feel guilty. This is a punishment because she played me, she deserves this. I sigh and leave the room. 

I plop down on the couch in the foyer and turn on the football game. About a half hour later, Jessica suddenly sprints out of the hallway and towards me. 

“Stop!” I yell, jumping up front the couch. She stops, her whole body shaking violently. “What the bloody hell do you think you’re doing?!” I yell again. 

“I’m going to kill you,” she snarls, looking angrier than I have ever seen her before. “You made me kill Trish you psychotic prick! My only family. My only friend! You made a big mistake because now I have nothing to lose asshole. You held the threat of controlling Trish over me for months when I was under your control and now you can’t!” She exclaims. I hate how aroused this makes me. She’s so strong, just like me. All that power locked away in her exquisite little body. Now, all she needs is some persuasion. 

“Jessica. You love me. You do not want to kill or harm me in any way. You understand that Trish‘s death was necessary to teach you a lesson that apparently you didn’t even learn,” I snap. Her posture shifts so she’s more relaxed. 

“I understand that Trish’s death was necessary,” she says. I pay the cushion to my left and she sits down. I pull her into my chest and kiss the top of her head. She lets me without a fight. 

A few minutes later, River walks out of the hallway. My breath hitches as I see her apparel. She’s wearing a tight navy blue upper thigh length dress. I’m surprised by her choice because she has never worn a dress like this before. My eyes travel up to her face and I am met with cold, void, and depressed eyes that are staring at the floor. I have never seen such a broken expression on anyone before. None of my puppets have ever looked like that. It takes me a full minute of staring at her before I manage to speak. 

“Don’t use your powers or hurt or harm me in anyway,” I say. She doesn’t move. “Come sit,” I say, patting the cushion to my right side. She walks over and sits down, letting me pull her into my chest. Both of them losing their sisters had broken them. Jessica’s grief is blind rage while River’s grief is surrendering. The power of having both women submit to me is maddening. I feel like I’m on a power high and nothing can stop me. I feel my cock stir in my pants and know that this is only the beginning of another amazing day. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave kudos!! It may be a long time until my next update because I have a lot of summer traveling coming up!


	16. Aftershock (River’s POV)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! I just got back home from my travels so I will start updating again! This chapter is long but a lot happens. Hope you enjoy;)

_I want to get on my knees and suck him and Jessica wants to strip for him. I want to enjoy this and make it feel good for him._

I get on my knees between his legs and wrap my lips around his cock. My body is aching due to the crash. I know I have at least one broken rib, but I find that I don’t care. I want to die. He made me kill my only sister and now I have nothing to live for. 

I take is cock to the base, earning a moan from him. His eyes are darting between me and Jessica, who is down to only her panties now. I don’t mind because I know that 

_she wants to slowly strip for him._

I slowly move my tongue around his cock and his hands shift in my hair so he’s holding the base of my neck. It won’t be long now. He starts bobbing my head up and down at his own pace and I relax my throat and mouth, letting him use me. 

“Enjoy this,” he groans from above me. 

He moans again and shoots his load down the back of my throat. I’m forced to swallow or choke on his cum. I stay on the ground, not having the energy to move or throw up his semen. I’m nothing now. I have nothing to live for. 

“Jessica, you want to dance for me. River, you want to take off your panties, straddle me, and kiss me,” he says, after recovering from his orgasm. 

I stand up, feeling my very sore body protest. My chest and ribs hurt very badly. I take off my panties and drop them on the floor before straddling him. I’m still wearing the dress so I’m just naked underneath. Then, I bring our lips together. 

“Kiss me like you mean it,” he grows. He’s taking out his anger on us. I deserve it though because I killed my sister. 

I kiss him harder, while his hand travels down and cups my sex. I don’t fight him, I can’t fight him. 

I feel him grin against my lips at my submission. Please kill me. His other hand travels up my back to hold me steady. He starts rubbing my clit, making me shudder and feel like I want to throw up. He must notice my new green color. 

“Don’t throw up,” he grumbles. 

The urge subsides and he inserts a finger into my dry entrance. 

“Get wet for me,” he breathes, his lips at my ear. 

My body shudders again as my vagina suddenly becomes wet. I can’t really feel anything down there and I suddenly realize that I don’t feel anything at all. I just feel an overwhelming sadness and desire to die. 

“Look at me,” he commands. 

My eyes meet his and I see nothing but evil in them. I used to see something more, but not anymore. He changed for me. He was being better for me. 

“Open your mouth,” he evilly smiles. 

My jaw falls open and he inserts the fingers that were just touching my vagina. 

_Don’t throw up._

He moves his long digits around in my mouth and I feel tears roll down my face. He’s actually torturing me with sex. 

His assault on my mouth stops and he pulls out his fingers, only to wipe my tears. I feel my jaw shuddering because my mouth is still open. I want to die. 

“Close your mouth and get off me,” He barks. I close my mouth and get off him. “Jessica, stop dancing and stand next to River,” he commands. 

Jessica stops dancing, slowly walks over, and stands next to me. The pressure in my chest is steadily increasing and I know that something is very wrong. Hopefully it will kill me. 

My wish is granted because suddenly, I can’t breathe. I clutch my chest and drop to my knees, my senses dulling. My heart feels like it’s going to burst out of my chest and I can’t catch my breath. 

I fall on my back and start to choke on my own spit. Someone turns me on my side and my airways clear up. My senses return and my chest pain lessens. Jessica is leaning over me, looking slightly satisfied. 

“Great acting, he’s in the other room now,” she whispers. She helps me sit up and I groan. 

“Not acting,” I wheeze, trying to catch my breath. 

“Oh shit! Are you okay?” She implores. I nod and realize that she is naked, so I look away. “It’s fine. Help is coming. I had a backup plan when I came to get you. We only have to deal with this asshole for a couple of days,” she softly replies. 

Who has the power to help us? Who can resist him? 

“The less you know the better. Just trust me,” she says, reading my un-asked question. He suddenly walks back into the room and looks down at us from a terrible height. Jessica stands up with her arms at her sides, her jaw is clenched and her gaze is set somewhere over his shoulder. 

“Both of you tell the truth when I ask you questions. What happened to you?” He asks me. 

“I don’t know,” I wearily reply, staying on my side, on the floor. 

“How do you feel?” He asks, squatting down and moving his hand towards me. I jerk away from his wandering hand. 

“Everything hurts,” I hear myself reply. I see a flash of sympathy run through his eyes, then it’s gone again. He puts his hand down, sets his jaw, and stands up. 

“Get up,” he commands. Somehow I get to my feet. The world around me sways and I stumble. Killgrave’s long arms wrap around my torso, steadying me. 

I keep my arms at my sides, not caring enough to fight him. He runs a hand through my hair and places the other right above my ass. “You’ll be alright. My doctor is coming. Go to sleep now,” he commands. It may be my recent episode, but I swear I can hear a bit of concern in his voice. I feel my eyes slam shut and sleep covers me like a dark blanket. 

I wake up laying on the couch from before. My whole body feels a lot better then when he forced me to sleep. I rotate my shoulders to find that the motion doesn’t hurt me. The guy from before must have healed me. I sit up and look around only to be met with an agitated looking Killgrave staring at me. Jessica is no where to be seen. 

“You had a heart attack,” he states, uncrossing his long arms from in front of his chest. I don’t respond. He made me kill my sister. He waits a moment to see if I will say anything. “He said that the accident must of caused a serious blood clot somewhere. You also had one broken rib and two fractured ones,” he continues. That explains why my ribs hurt so badly earlier. He sighs. “You didn’t tell me you were in pain,” he states, sounding more frustrated. I stay silent. “And now your not even talking. What the bloody hell is wrong with you?” He snaps. I jump a little at his sudden aggression. 

_Tell the truth_

“I want to die,” I say, looking him in the eye. Something unrecognizable passes through his features. 

“Because of me?” He clarifies. 

“No,” I hear myself reply. It is because of him, isn’t it? 

“Then why?” He frowns. 

“Because of myself.” 

“Why?” 

“I can’t live with what you made me do, even if you did make me do it,” I say. 

“What are you talking about?” 

“My sister. I-“ I choke up and feel sick. “I killed her,” I whisper, feeling dread slither up my spine like a snake. I killed her. I killed her. I killed her! 

Realization passes through his eyes. He looks almost guilty for a second until his mask is up again. He smiles in that cruel way of his. Please kill me. 

“You don’t want to die and you’re glad that she’s gone,” he states. 

“I don’t want to die and I’m glad that she’s gone.” Why wouldn’t I be glad? What did she ever do for me? 

“Good, now stand up. You made me waste a whole afternoon and you’re going to make it up to me,” He says, holding out his hand. 

“I’m going to make it up to you,” I parrot. I shouldn’t have made him waste a whole afternoon like I did. I stand up and grab his hand. He leads me into his bedroom and closes the door behind me. 

“Strip and lay on your back on the bed,” he says. I take off the dress and remember that he told me to remove my panties earlier, so I’m completely naked now. I get on the bed and lay on my back. I wonder where Jessica is? 

“Where’s Jessica?” I question, feeling all too vulnerable and trying not to think about what’s going to come next. Strangely, I don’t feel embarrassed to be naked in front of him anymore. 

“Don’t worry about her, she’s sleeping. Don’t talk anymore either. Now, I’ve been thinking about what to say too you to make this the perfect night. Regardless of what you think, I’m not a monster. I want my sexual partner to be happy to receive my affections and like what we’re doing together. So you’re going to love what we do together. You’re going to let yourself enjoy it and have fun. You will like what I will do to you and will not fight me in any way,” he says. 

He suddenly crawls over me, only wearing his boxers and grabs my arm. I let him handcuff both of my wrists to the headboard. His eyes scan over my naked body and he gets off the bed. My heartbeat quickens in anticipation of what’s to come. 

_I love what we do together. I’m enjoying this and having fun._

His walks back over to the bed and sits inbwtween my spread legs, then he leans over me and his lips lock onto mine. This kiss is hard, it’s angry, it’s him. I kiss back because 

_I like this._

He smiles against my lips and our tongues lazily battle in my mouth. I feel him gently push one of his long bony fingers into my entrance and suddenly realize that I’m wet. The thought that my body is responding positively to him sickens me. Shit. 

But, I deserve this. I killed my sister. I killed five more people in addition to her. This is my punishment. Being with him. Saving all the other women who he likes or ‘wants to show his affections to.’ 

“Hey, look at me. Focus on this. Don’t think about anything else. Feel the different sensations that this creates for you,” He says in a weird tone of voice. He sounds very calm and a little excited. My eyes lock with his before my head flops back. 

He adds another finger and a loud moan escapes me as he presses into my g spot. Did it feel this good last time?! 

Pleasure. A small amount of pain. Immense pleasure. 

He adds a third finger, making me gasp. 

Open. I feel open. I feel good. This feels good. 

All the sensation leaves me as he pulls out. I make a small sound of protest. 

“Patience darling. We’re almost there,” he purrs. 

I look up to find him rolling a condom on his cock. Thank god he doesn’t want to get me pregnant with some hellspawn kid. 

After it is on, he gently pushes himself into me, causing me to moan as I feel so many different sensations. He gives me a minute to adjust before he starts moving rapidly in and out. I guess he wants it rough today. I’m not sure if it was intentional or just luck, but he is aiming his strokes higher then he did in the past, so he pushes on my g-spot about every other thrust. 

I feel a lot of Pleasure and arousal <\p>

_I love what he’s doing. I’m enjoying it and having fun._

“Cum now!” He suddenly commands. I feel my body jerk and twitch as his words rip an orgasm from me. If he would have kept going for a while, I probably would have done it naturally. I wince and thankfully he doesn’t notice. 

He pulls out and takes off his cum covered condom. Then, he collapses on top of me, his face resting on my chest. 

“Tell the truth. Did you like me more when I didn’t use my powers on you?” He asks, after catching his breath. His head is resting sideways on my chest, like he is listening to my heart beat. Not that I could lie if I wanted to. I try to talk but find that I can’t. 

_Don’t talk anymore._

I nod. 

“Answer me when I ask you something,” he says, sounding agitated. 

“Yes,” I quietly reply. Did he have sex with Jessica to? I try to say something, but his command blocks me,

_Don’t talk anymore._

I sigh and let my head fall back against the pillow. Even though 

_I liked what he did to me,_

my wrists hurt from the handcuffs. I shift around, trying to find a better position. 

Suddenly, I feel his warm lips traveling up my neck. His soft kisses turn into long licking strokes as he moves further up. Then, he is kissing me again. I tiredly kiss back and shift my position again. He pulls back and frowns at me. 

“What’s wrong?” He asks. 

“My wrists hurt,” I reply, shifting under him again. I have to remind myself that I deserve this. I deserve to feel this pain. 

He sighs and sits up, unlocking the handcuffs with a small key from the top of the nightstand. I rub my wrists and frown when I find that the undersides are scraped raw.

“Sorry. I’ll use a different material next time,” he says, not sounding sorry at all. I should not have made him mad. I should have just tried to frikin fall in love. My sister. 

_I’m glad she’s gone,_

but I killed her. I KILLED HER. Not him, me. I killed he only good thing I had in my life. I deserve to rot in hell. 

I roll on my side, feeling numb. I don’t even want to die anymore. I just want the world to disappear and for me to dissolve into nothingness. 

“Stay on the bed.” I feel his weight leave the bed and I hear him walking into the bathroom. I remain motionless. Is this what hell is like? 

His hand on my arm makes me flinch away. 

“You’re cold,” he states, his other hand resting on my back where my scars are. I suddenly realize that my teeth are chattering and I am very cold. I was numb to it before he said something. I find that I don’t care. At least now I feel something other than pain. 

He picks me up bridal style and I wrap my arms around his neck. He is warm. And strong. Maybe loving him wouldn’t be so bad. If I have to stay with him until I die, then I should learn to see his good qualities, if he has any. After all, 

_I love what we do together. I like what he does to me._

“You want to ride my cock once we get in the bathtub,” he says. 

_I want to ride his cock once we get in the bathtub._

He sets me in the bathtub and climbs in after me, leaning back against the tub and spreading his legs wide. 

_I want to ride his cock._

I climb into his lap and position myself over him. 

“Wait. I want to try something else,” he suddenly says as I’m about to go down on him. “Turn around and get on your hands and knees,” he commands. 

I turn around and get on my hands and knees. The water comes to my biceps and my ass and pussy are out of the water. What is he going to do? 

“Now, to do this, I need you to relax. So relax and do not fight me,” he says. 

Suddenly, one of his long fingers breach my anal entrance. Shit. No. This is gross. It burns as he adds another finger and I whimper. 

“Hey, remember what I said earlier. You like this. You are enjoying it and having fun,” he says, stroking my lower back with his other hand. It sends goosebumps crawling up my back. I try to say something but I can’t, 

_Don’t talk anymore._

He adds a third finger, the burn becoming more of a stretching pain. This isn’t right. 

“Good. Relax your entrance,” he coos. I force my tensed entrance to relax and the pain lessens a little. “Good. You’re doing great,” he encourages, finally taking out his fingers. I know what’s coming next, but I can’t tense up. My ass muscles are lose and pliant because he told me to relax. My back on the other hand is tensed and starting to hurt because I’m squeezing my shoulder blades together. 

He slowly pushes into me, his cock covered in a cold slimy substance to make it easier. His hands grip my hips. 

_I like this. I’m enjoying it and having fun._

He stops as I feel his balls rest against my pussy. It’s such a strange feeling, having my ass filled like it is. Thankfully, he gives me a little time to adjust before he starts moving. The stuff he put on his cock helps with the pain a lot. He suddenly moans above me. 

“You’re so tight,” he says, removing one of his hands. He rubs clit, making me involuntarily moan. 

_I like this. I’m enjoying it._

“I’m definitely going to have to do this again,” he says, still rubbing me. “How does this feel?” He asks. 

“It hurts a little, but it just feels weird,” I respond, forced to tell truth. 

“You’re enjoying it,” he corrects. 

“I’m enjoying it,” I repeat back. He starts moving faster and rubbing circles around my clit. I moan in response, which seems to encourage him to move faster. 

Water from the bathtub is sloshing over the sides and onto the floor. I feel my release building up inside me from the way he is rubbing my clit. It actually feels good. 

“Cum!” He commands. I cum on the command, this time it feels better because I was almost ready do it. He cums inside my ass and stays there for a minute. My arms and thighs are trembling from being in this position for so long. My hips and back hurt from being so tense and his hard grip. 

He pulls out after a while and sits back against the tub. “Sit down between my legs,” he commands. I reposition myself so that I’m sitting on my butt in between his legs. He pulls me back more so that my back and head are resting against his chest. 

I feel absolutely exhausted due to having two orgasms in a row. I also feel warm, so I have no trouble passing out. 

“River. Wake up,” he commands. My eyes snap open and I jerk awake. I have no idea how long we’ve been in the bathtub, but the water is still warm. I look up at him questioningly, my head still on his chest. 

He stokes my cheek with the back of one of his hands and uses the other to draw small circles on my stomach. 

“Do you trust me?” He asks. 

“Yes,” I say, surprising myself. He also looks surprised before he breaks out into a wide grin. I trust that he will take or do whatever he wants no matter who gets in the way. 

“Good. Would you try to love me if I gave you the chance?” He asks, still stroking my cheek. 

“Honestly if you’re going to force me to stay with you for the rest of my life, then yes,” I reply. His hands stop their movements and I can tell that he is shocked. 

“Why didn’t you try before?” He asks. 

“Because I knew that Jessica was coming to try to save me and there was a chance I could see my sister again,” I reply. 

“And now?” 

“Now my sister is dead and you can control Jessica. I have no one other than you who cares for me. I’m all alone,” I sulk. Shit. No one but him actually cares about me. I never realized that before. 

“You’re not alone River. I’m here for you. I’ll always be here,” he says, hugging me from behind. 

_He’s here for me. He will always be here for me._

I suddenly burst into tears. He’s the only one who loves me. The only one who cares for me. And I’ve been so mean to him! 

“I’m sorry,” I sob. He stays silent, just hugging me. Then, with tears still rubbing down my face, I turn my head and kiss him. The angle is all wrong, but he doesn’t seem to care. We kiss until I stop crying. I’ll be better for him. 

“We’ve been in here for a while. We should probably get out,” he says, standing up and stepping out of the bath. I fall back, frowning when pain shoots up from my ass. 

I pull the drain to the tub and get out, drying myself off with another towel. 

We both change into our pajamas. 

“Good, lets go to bed,” he smiles, taking my hand and leading me into the bedroom. I follow him and slip under the covers. He wraps his arm around me and pulls my body into his. I feel a weird sense of belonging. 

“Relax River,” he mumbles. I feel my body unwind a tiny bit, but not much. My back is stiff from having sex in that position. “I said to relax. It’s like hugging a plank of wood,” he says. My body unwinds a tiny bit more. “Why aren’t you relaxing?” He asks, sounding very confused. 

“Can I talk now?” I question back. He told me that I can answer his questions. He sighs. 

“You may speak freely,” he says. 

“I’m trying to relax, but I can’t,” I answer his question. “I need to do yoga or something to stretch out my back and shoulders,” I tell him. He sighs and there’s silence. 

I snuggle into him and try to sleep. It’s hard, but I manage to get into the right stage of mind to fall asleep. 

“Roll over on your stomach,” he says, as I’m about to fall asleep. I just want to sleep. I’ll have sex if he wants to though. I roll over to my stomach. 

“I’m going to help you relax,” he explains. He sits over my butt so that his knees are on either side of my thighs. This position is new. “Put your arms out to both sides of your body,” he softly commands. His new tone of voice is that of a calm therapist. I put my arms out on either side of my body. 

Suddenly, his hands are on my back, rubbing both of my shoulder blades. I flinch a little, but he doesn’t comment on it. He just keeps his hands still, warming my back. 

I wonder what the point of doing this is until my shoulders are resting comfortably on the bed, verses being held back like before. The tension releases and I feel my body relax a lot more. He slowly moves his hands down, applying pressure on both sides of my spine. And damn, it feels good. 

He moves back up, tracing the same lines again and stops at the base of my neck, where he finds a knot and starts to rub it out. He’s actually good at this. 

“Do you like this?” He questions, not pausing his movements. 

“Yes. Thank you,” I respond. It was hard to thank the same man who had sex with me against my will. I have to admit that his hands can preform magic though. 

“You’re welcome. I like making you feel good,” he adds. 

“Did you have sex with Jessica?” I blurt. By sex I mean rape. 

“What if I did?” He asks. I can hear the arrogance in his voice. He moves to my shoulders where he started working out more knots. 

“Did you?” I push, feeling my body unwind. For some reason, a sick part of me wanted to know. 

“No,” he says. I feel relief for some reason. 

“Really?” I push. He starts rubbing both of my shoulders. 

“Yes. Tell me why it matters to you and be honest.” 

“I only want you to have sex with me,” I respond. I don’t want him to hurt anyone else like he has me. And Jessica said that help was coming. I find that I have mixed feelings about leaving him. He cares about me. He’s he ONLY one who cares about me. 

His movements on my back falter for a second. 

“Why?” 

“I like you,” I tiredly reply. I like the way he looks, not his personality or nature. It’s close enough and I’m still telling the truth. I like how he cares about me and loves me. 

“You like me,” He marvels, removing his hands from my shoulders. It’s not a command, but more of a realization. 

He lays next to me on his side. 

“Can you feel a connection between us?” He asks. We are connected because we were both alone before we met each other. 

“Yes,” I simplify, turning to face him. I find that I’m very tired now that I’m relaxed. He pulls me into his chest and strokes my back. I willingly lean into him and fall asleep, my body finally giving up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Leave me some comments about what you think and kudos if you liked it.


	17. Power struggle (Kilgrave’s POV)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is shorter than usual, but a lot happens. Hope you enjoy :)

She likes me. She likes me. She actually likes me.

She was being honest and she said that she likes me.

I find that I can’t move the smile from my face if I try. She trusts me and she likes me. It took her long enough to warm up to me, but now she is on the road to loving me.

I look down at her, smirking when she snores a little. She was worn out due to her orgasms. I know that she has never had two in a row before.

That’s when it hits me. I don’t know what to do with her. I never got this far with Jessica and I definitely can’t screw it up. Her feelings that she described are genuine. I’ve never had a woman who has genuine feelings for me.

I need to talk to an expert in these matters and there happens to be one who is asleep in the room right next to this one.

I place a kiss on River’s forehead before sliding out of bed. She will definitely sleep for a while after what we did tonight. Igo into my closet and grab an extra shirt before I make my way out of the bedroom, closing the door and turning off the lights behind me.

I run a hand through my hair before going into Jessica’s room. I look over her figure on the bed and smile when I see that she is naked. Not that she wouldn’t be, because I commanded her to sleep naked. She hasn’t moved since I commanded her to get comfortable and fall asleep until I tell her to wake up.

I hesitate to wake her, the command caught on my tongue. I need to know how long my control over her will last so that she won’t be able to leave me again. River is more important though, now that I have her, I don’t need Jessica.

Yet, I still feel connected to Jessica. She was my first love. The first person to leave me wanting someone else. She made me feel something that no one else has before, yearning. But why do I like her?

I like River because she is similar to me. We both had crazy parents who hurt us. We both developed our powers from stressful situations. We both carry scares from our pasts. We’re more similar than Jessica and I ever were. 

But Jessica. I like her defiance. River is defiant sometimes, but not like Jessica is. She knows just what to say to wind me up and I love that and hate that about her.

“Jessica. Wake up,” I command.

She opens her eyes and sits up, letting out a loud groan.

“What the hell?” She looks around, until her eyes settle on me. Rage makes its way through her beautiful eyes like usual. 

“Jessica. You will only speak when I ask you something and will answer me honestly. You will remain on the bed and will not attack me. You want to help me gain Rivers affections to the best of your ability,” I command.

“I will help you,” she dully says. I can tell that whatever power I hold over her is weak because she is still able to slightly resist me.

“So tonight, River said, of her own accord, that she likes me. How do you think I can make her like me more without commanding her?” I ask. Jessica looks thoughtful for a moment.

“Let her go,” she says.

“Besides that.”

“Tell her that her sister is still alive,” Jessica states, glaring at me.

“How can you possibly know about that?!” I exclaim. She’s so smart.

“Because when you took me, you forgot to take my phone. When you left me alone before you told me to sleep, I got a call from Trish. I could only guess that you did the same thing to her as you did to me,” she replies coldly. I sigh.

“Give me your phone.”

She pulls her phone out from under the pillow and chucks it at my head. I dive out of the way and it crashes into the wall behind me, breaking into pieces.

“Let us go,” she grits out. It looks like it takes her a lot of energy and pain to say it. She defied me. She just did something I told her not to do. She can fight me. 

“Jessica. Sleep. Now,” I command. Her eyes close before she opens them again. “Jessica Jones! Sleep!” I yell. Now, her eyes slam shut and collapses on the bed.

I need another batch of the power enhancement serum if I am to maintain control over Jessica. I pull out my phone and start the 14 hour timer. It shouldn’t take nearly that long.

Then, I ring up dear old dad. He answers on the second ring.

“Hello.”

His voice sounds like someone ripped out his vocal chords. Shit. At my last visit, I forgot to tell him he can sleep and eat. 

“It’s me. I’m coming over. Do you have the next batch ready?” I question.

“Yes,” comes the weary reply. I sigh.

“Sleep until I get there. I’ll wake you when I need you,” I command. The sound of his body dropping can be heard over the phone. I smile and hang up the phone. 

I’m glad I didn’t kill him when I had the chance back in New York. Now, I’m more powerful than ever. Still not strong enough to have complete control over Jessica, but strong enough to influence the way people feel by touching them. 

Next, I go back into my bedroom. River is still passed out on the bed. I shake her awake.

“What?” She groggily groans.

“Sleep until I tell you to wake up,” I command. She falls asleep again. I watch her for a while. She looks so peaceful and innocent. I kiss her cheek before leaving. She likes me. That’s on the right road to loving me. 

I exit the building, leaving about 6 back up people to stop Jessica if she tries to leave. 

“You, with me,” I say, pointing to one of my body guards. He is by my side immediately. I seriously underestimated what money can do for you until a couple of years ago. I don’t even have to command them.

I command the valet to get us a nice car from the lot, then we are on the way.

I rest my head against the head rest, feeling tired from the long day. After I get the serum, I will definitely sleep well. It tends to make me tired and it messes up my emotions every time I take it. 

We pull up to the apartment building where I am keeping father within 10 minutes. I like to have him close by in case I need anything.

I get out of the car and take the elevator up to the penthouse. Two armed guards with orders to kill father if he tries to leave are standing outside the door.

They let me pass without a word.

The first thing that hit me when I walked in the room was the odor. It smelled like sweat and chemicals. I quickly spot father, fast asleep on the floor.

I notice that he has significantly lost weight. It’s infuriating how people can’t think for themselves. I’ll have to command him to take care of himself. It should be obvious that he has to eat, sleep, and bathe. 

“Wake up Albert,” I command, giving him a light kick. He groans and opens his eyes. His eyes widen with fear and he scrambles back until his back hits a wall. He knows what I am truest capable of. 

“K-Kevin,” He stammers.

“Get up,” I command, ignoring his use of that hideous name. He gets to his feet, swaying dangerously. “Make yourself something to eat in the kitchen that will not harm you, then get back out here,” I command. He stumbles across the apartment and into the kitchen.

I take the chance to look around. There are a lot of test tubes filled with different color liquids and on the table rests a syringe filled with the purple power enhancement serum.

I hear shuffling out of the kitchen and glance in his direction. He’s holding a sandwich on a plate between his shaking hands.

“Eat,” I grumble. He sets the plate down on the counter and downs the sandwich in about a minute. “Answer me honestly when I ask you questions,” I state. “Will the dose of power enhancement you made me harm or kill me?” I question. We go through this process every time that I take a new dose.

“No Kevin. Do you-“

“Will it take away my abilities or otherwise disable me?” I interrupt him.

“No,” he sighs. “Is this really necessary?”

“Yes it’s necessary! Might I remind you that you tortured me as a child? Then you tried to create a serum that gave you immunity to my powers,” I snap back.

“No, you don’t need to remind me. I was trying to help you. You would have died if I hadn’t-“

“If you haven’t tortured me. I know you tell me the same bloody story every time I see you. Just give me the injection. Don’t harm me anymore then necessary to inject me,” I say. I clear off a spot on a cluttered table for me to lay my head and chest down.

I sit on a chair, rest my cheek against the wooden surface, and place my arms out to the side.

“Son. There’s a chance that when I give you this dose it could unlock a new aspect of your power,” he says, pulling my shirt collar back with trembling hands and cleaning the nape of my neck with a small wet cloth.

“I’m counting on it. Just get it over with,” I grunt, closing my eyes. He grabs the syringe off of the counter and hesitates before he plunges it in.

I try not to think about how many other times he has done that in he past or how many tiny scares lay in that area as he injects me.

As he starts to push the injector in, I feel the burning serum seep into my blood stream. Thankfully, he finishes quickly and pulls the needle out.

I still feel the serum working its way through me. It feels like liquid fire running through my veins, causing me to scream and my body to randomly spasm. It goes on for about a minute, then the pain starts to lessen, as usual.

I stay in the same position, just catching my breath before I move again.

“What’s my estimated time limit now?” I ask, slowly getting to my feet.

“For regular people around 30 hours between commands. So for River, probably 16 hours. I have no idea for Jessica,” he says. I rub my temples, my head pounding.

“Make an educated guess.”

“It could be anywhere between 2 and 12 hours,” he shrugs. Damn it. I have to get back soon if it is only for two hours. “You should rest Kevin. You look a little pale,” he says. Rest.

“I’m going to go. While I’m gone, you are allowed to eat, sleep, and bathe when you see fit. Make another batch of the serum and I’ll call you when I need it. Only work on the serum. You will not work on any side projects or ways to get rid of my powers,” I say. He nods, stumbles over to a small couch, collapses on it, and is asleep almost instantly.

I slowly make my way to the car. My body feels heavy and sore. I check my phone timer and find that it has only been about an hour. 

We get back to the hotel in an a couple of minutes. A wave of exhaustion hits me and I almost fall asleep in the car on the ride over.

I march into the hotel and take the elevator all of the way up. The guards I put in place are still breathing and conscience, so Jessica must still be under my control. Opening the door, the suite is just how I left it.

I make my way towards the bedrooms and check in on Jessica first. She snoring lightly, still asleep.

“Jessica. Wake up,” I say. She opens her eyes. “Sleep until I tell you to wake up,” I say again. She falls back asleep instantly. That worked better than last time. I close the door to her room, then grab one of my security guards to guard it.

Finally, I go back to the master bedroom. River is sleeping soundly in the bed. I peel off my clothes, down to my underwear, and slip in besides her. She shifts a little in her sleep, moving towards me. I shift to lay on my side, the I pull her into my chest, so her back is touching my chest.

I wrap one of my legs around her legs and my arm around her body. Then, I nestle my face into her hair. She always smells perfect. I fall asleep almost immediately.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comment and leave kudos!


	18. Monster (River’s POV)

I’ll never get tired of waking up feeling warm.

At my old house, I was always cold. I would wake up freezing and terrified. I would wake up alone.

Now, I have Killgrave. He’s always wanted me to love him and now I do. I roll over in his grip and stare at him. 

Handsome. Innocent. Amazing. The love of my life. 

I notice his morning wood against my leg and decide that I should take care of it for him. I move under the covers and in between his legs. Then, I carefully let his hard length spring free from his boxers. 

I lick up and down the shaft a few times before I wrap my lips around him. He moans above me, bucking his hips into my mouth. 

“Keep going,” He tiredly mumbles. Since this is the first blowjob I have ever willingly given, I want it to be good. I start sucking and swirling my tongue around him, getting another moan. 

He throws back the covers, looking at me with admiration and love in his eyes. I love him. I relax my throat and take him to the base, his fingers run down my scalp, making me moan. I like this, I’m enjoying this. 

He wants me to go faster, so I move my head faster. He thinks this is the perfect pace. He’s going to cum soon.

I keep working him up until he cums in my mouth. I swallow and clean off his cock like he wants me to. 

“That was incredible,” he gasps. 

“I love you,” I say, moving my hands up his body and kissing him. He flips us over so he’s on top, I let him because he wants to be in control. 

I open my mouth and grant his tongue access, moving it in perfect unison with his. 

“Bloody hell, when did you become such a good kisser?” He asks, pulling back. 

“You taught me,” I reply, leaning forward and starting to kiss him again. He wants me to take my nightgown off. 

I sit up and shimmy out of the silky material, dropping it on the floor. I’m left in the lacy underwear he bought for me. 

He lets out an almost animalistic growl and pushes me back down. He moves back and starts to lick and kiss my breasts. I like this. I like what he’s doing to me. 

I buck my hips up, wanting some friction against my pussy. He smiles against my breasts and puts one of his hands down my panties, rubbing my clit. 

I shudder and moan. 

“I love that sound,” he says, his voice deeper than usual. He wants me to do it again, so I moan again. He smiles and kisses down my stomach. I vaguely notice that I have gained a little weight, I couldn’t count my ribs anymore. 

He kneels back not touching me, just looking over my body. 

A wave of clarity overtakes me, making me sit up and back away from him. I didn’t want to do that. I scramble off of the bed, covering my chest. He didn’t even command me to do anything. How is this possible?! 

“Wh-what did you do to me?” I stammer. He looks absolutely confused, sitting back on his heels. 

“What are you talking about? I didn’t do anything!” He says, looking offended. 

“I-I didn’t want to do that,” I shiver. 

“You started it! I was just repaying you,” he says, looking confused again. 

“I didn’t- don’t- didn’t want to give you a blowjob,” I say. What is happening? I’m positive that he didn’t command me to do that. 

“But you did. And I didn’t command you to, so what’s the problem?” He asked, looking frustrated now. 

“I don’t know! I wanted it, but now I know that I didn’t want it,” I say. He furrows his brow. “You controlled me somehow,” I finish, in a quiet tone. 

“I didn’t command you!” He yells. 

“I know! Not verbally...” I trail off. “Where did you go last night when you told me to sleep?” I question. He pales a little. 

“I went to get my powers enhanced. How is this relevant?” He growls, getting out of bed and walking towards me. If he got his powers advanced, then something else must have changed in his ability to control people. I need to know. 

“Tell me to do something,” I say. He smiles, his eyes dark. 

“Kiss me.” 

All control leaves my body as walk to him. As our lips meet, desire to do more than kiss clouds my senses. He turns us and forces me to lie beneath him on the bed. 

“Tell the truth. Do you want this?” He huskily asks. I have to think for a few seconds. 

“No.” 

He sighs and gets off of me, all of my desire leaving as he stops touching me. 

“You’re sending me mixed signals here love,” he says. 

“Sorry. It’s like every time you touch me, my emotions change,” I say. Can he control people by touching them now?! Shit. The thought is scary. He cocks his head to the side and grins. 

“Get dressed nicely. I want to test your theory,” he commands. I go to my suit case and put on a bra. 

Get dressed nicely. 

That probably means he wants me to put on a dress. I walk into the closet where he is changing. He stops and looks at me.

“You look healthier,” he says quietly. I feel healthier. 

“Thanks,” I mumble. He thinks that I’m pretty. He really cares about me if he notices the few pounds I’ve probably gained. 

I proceed to put a dress on. The one I chose is mid thigh length and royal blue. I go out to the bathroom, use the toilet, and start to brush my hair. 

A loud alarm sound comes from his phone, making me look over. 

“Shit!” He yells, turning off the phone and running into the other room. He left his phone on the nightstand. 

I go over to it and sit on the bed, holding  
His phone in my hands. Who could I call to help me? The police- no he could just control them. I can’t call anyone. Maybe I’ll feel better if I hear Georgia’s voice. She may not be alive anymore, but she still has a voicemail. 

I miss having a phone. I hit the bottom button and hit emergency call button. I’m going to say goodbye to G the right way, even though she will never get to hear it. I also need to apologize. 

I dial in the number, then hit the call button. I need to hear her voice on the voice mail recording. It rings once.

“River! Christ I’ve been so worried about you! Where the hell have you been?” She yells. No. She’s dead. I killed her. I stabbed her. How is this possible? Someone must be mimicking her. 

“Whoever you are, this isn’t funny,” I snap, my voice wavering. I killed her, I know I killed her. Didn’t I? 

“What are you talking about? It’s Georgia.” 

“No,” I mumble. How is she still alive? I saw the light leave her eyes, the blood leaving the knife wound and forming a puddle on the floor under her body. 

“What the hell are you doing?!” Killgrave yells. “Drop the phone now!” 

I drop the phone. How is she alive? He made me kill her. I saw her die! 

“She’s alive,” I say quietly. He stares at me for a second until realization crosses over his features. I slide down the wall to the floor, it feels like I can’t breathe. Relief washes over me. I didn’t kill her. I didn’t kill her. She’s still alive. He must have tricked me somehow. 

I force air in and out of my lungs, a smile forming on my lips. She’s alive. She’s ALIVE. I put my hands over my head and find that I am shacking. My eyes fill with tears of relief. She’s okay. 

He walks over to me and sits on the bed, picking up his phone holding it to his ear. My rational returns immediately. 

“P-please don’t. I’m sorry,” I plead. He looks unimpressed and I can hear Georgia chattering away on the phone. My hearing is back! My powers have returned! “Please Killgrave. Don’t tell her to do anything, I’m sorry,” I say loudly, so Georgia can clearly hear. He hangs up the phone. 

“Go stand in the corner until I tell you to stop. You will hold your and out straight in front of your shoulders forever.” He storms out of the room. I go to the corner of the room and raise my arms up so they’re level with my shoulders. This isn’t so bad. 

But it’s not about the punishment. It’s about G. She knows his name and if she can figure it out, his powers. She’ll know to stay away. I am reunited with her now. She cares about me.

But he LIED to me. I trusted him. I was even falling for him. I can’t forgive him for this. He made me think that I killed her. I grieved for her! 

My hands start to feel tingly and my biceps start to burn. It could be worse. Whatever he will do to me can’t be worse than making me believe I killed my sister. 

I wanted to die because she was gone. He made me feel that way. My love for him turns into an icy hate. I HATE him. I hate him more now than I did before. 

A violation of my body is one thing, but a violation of my mind is another. I’ve never wanted to end the life of a human being before, but now I do. It’s because he is not human. He is a monster. 

Here’s the thing about monsters, they always die in the end.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just so y’all know, school started for me so updating will be a little slower because I’m in a lot of AP classes. As always comment and kudo.


	19. What is love? (Killgrave’s POV)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Okay okay! I know this is a lot shorter than my other chapters, but a lot happens... Next one will be longer, I promise.

The first place I go is to Jessica’s room. Jessica was right, I should have told her. The way she looked at me when she found out is engraved in my memory. 

She looked betrayed. 

“What do you want now?” Jessica snarks as I enter her room. 

“Shut up!” I yell, running my hands through my hair. River looked so hurt, so relieved. 

She fell for me on her own, but now I don’t know if it was love. It may have been desperation or even shock. No. The way she looked at me this morning was not fake. The way she treated me this morning was real. 

I left her alone for one minute! One! And when I come back her entire person changed. 

Does her sister being alive make that much of a difference? It can’t possibly change her way of thinking that much... can it? 

Bloody hell! Why do women have to be so complicated? Life would be so much easier if people just did what I tell them too. 

I can feel Jessica staring a hole into the back of my head and I turn around to face her. 

“Fine. You can talk now,” I scowl. She opens her mouth then closes it, probably sending the fowl mood that I am in. 

“What happened?” She cautiously asks. I can tell that she is fearful of me. There was always something satisfying about punishing Jessica. Maybe it was having her completely submit and obey me.

Anyhow, before all of the drama, I commanded her to not try and hurt me, not use her powers, and not curse. 

“She found out,” I state. Jessica looks confused for a while until it finally clicks. 

“Told you so,” she smirks. She suddenly pales a shade. “What did you do to her?” 

“She’s fine!” I snap, starting to pace. 

“Is-“ Something loud thuds outside the room.

“What the bloody hell is going on now?” I snap. It’s just one thing after another today. I open Jessica’s door and step into the hallway. 

My body is suddenly jerked back and a cloth is shoved into my mouth before I can say anything. Then there is a sharp pain in the side of my neck and everything goes black. 

When I gradually come to, my head is throbbing. I touch my forehead and sit up from my crumpled position on the floor. I wince as I touch my nose and feel dry blood under it. What happened? 

I stand up, using the door frame for support. My head is spinning and I recognize the aftereffects of sufentanil. 

I glance into Jessica’s room to find her gone. No! I stumble over to the room River and I were staying in to find that she’s also gone. No no no! 

I will find her. I will find both of them.


	20. Gifted (River’s POV)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wahoo! Chapter 20!! I’m so sorry that took a long time to come out. I promise I will not give up on this fic, it will just take me a while to get the next chapter. Hope you enjoy!

I open my eyes to find myself looking up at an unfamiliar ceiling. I shift to my right and discover that my hand is trapped above me somehow.

I glance up to find that one of my wrists is zip tied to the wood headboard of a bed. My heart rate spikes and I sit up. Where am I? The room looks like a slob lived in it.

There was an ancient looking air conditioning unit and a few wooden dressers. Where am I? More importantly, where is Killgrave?

I do a quick assessment of my body and see that someone changed my cloths. I’m wearing a light blue pair of ripped jeans and a gray shirt. It reminds me of something Jessica would wear. Killgrave definitely didn’t pick out this outfit. 

“Hello?” I hesitantly call. Someone runs to the door and throws it open. My breath hitches and I feel like I’m going to vomit. No. Anything but this. 

“River, you’re okay!” Georgia yells, running into the room, jumping on the bed, and hugging me. I look away.

“You’re not real. He’s just messing with my head again.” Georgia pulls back and looks at me wide, confused eyes.

“She’s real kid,” says a familiar voice from the door. Jessica standing in the doorway. She’s wearing dark jeans and a light shirt, with a black letter jacket over it. What’s happening? 

“Jessica! What’s happening?” I ask. Georgia cannot be here. 

“She found me and told me what happened to you, I’m so sorry. I should have come to help you,” Georgia says, still hugging me. 

“Is it really you?” I stammer. I want to believe it, but I don’t know for sure. How can I know?

“Listen. This is real. She is real. My powerful friend got us both out. Don’t you remember what happened?” Jessica asks, entering he room. She has a sway to her walk, as if she’s drunk.

“No.. I don’t know. My head feels weird,” I respond, running my hand through my hair. “Can you uncuff me please?” I continue, slightly panicked. The last time I was handcuffed was when he raped me. I shudder at the memory. 

“Yea, his virus should be out of your system now. Don’t do anything stupid,” Jessica says, coming over and unlocking the cuffs.

“His virus?” I question, pushing Georgia away and getting to my feet. Is this real? 

“It’s a long story, just know that you’re safe now,” she says, leaving the room. I look over to Georgia, who is staring back at me. It felt like this last time too. Like we were really together. Then I killed her.

“I’m sorry G. I don’t know if this is real and I... I won’t hurt you again,” I explain, turning my back to her.

“You’ve never hurt me and you never will River,” she says. Something snaps inside me.

“Don’t call me that! My name is Josephine,” I yell. Weeks of his abuse have left me hating the name River even more than I did before I met him. 

“Calm down Josie. It’s okay. You’re safe now,” she says. “This is real. I am real.” She grabs my trembling hand and puts it on her chest, over her heart. I can feel it’s steady rhythm and I immediately feel my own racing heart slow.

“Georgia,” I whimper, not able to deal with this.

“I am real,” she repeats, pulling me into a hug. I hug back, finally realizing that Killgrave is not capable of creating such a tender moment like this. This is real.

I hug her tighter, not wanting to let go of the most important person in my life. I feel tears make their way down my face and I let myself smile. It feels like it’s been years since I saw her last. 

“I hate to interrupt you two, but I need your help River,” Jessica says, suddenly bursting into the room. I quickly wipe my tears.

“Wait. We were never properly introduced. My name is Josephine, but my friends call me Josie,” I say. Her eyes soften and she smirks.

“Come on then Josie, we have a problem,” she says, her tone hardening again. She leaves the room and Georgia and I follow.

“What’s wrong?” I ask. The space outside of the room was just as gross. I remember my dorm being no different. Had my time with Killgrave changed my mindset that much? I had stayed in the best places with him and it must have subconsciously raised my expectations. 

“He’s trying to find you,” Jessica says, sitting behind a desk placed in her living area. I gag and start to shiver. Why? Why can’t he just leave me alone? 

“H-how do you know?” I question. Why would he be after me? Maybe what he feels for me is actually love. Not real love, but his twisted version of it.

“We planted a camera in the room before we left. The asshole is coming back to America too look for us,” she says, sounding angry and scared. 

“I’m leaving. I’ll take Georgia and we’ll go somewhere else... Wait, how did we get back into the country?” I question. I need to fill in the huge gap in my memory from being in Paris to coming here. 

“My sister and another friend helped us. You and I had to be sedated because we were both under his control and would have done god knows what too get back to him,” she says. That’s when it hits me. I miss him. How can I miss him?! After everything he did to me, I actually miss him.

“We’re leaving. Let’s go Georgia,” I say, grabbing her hand.

“Where will you go? You don’t have any money. We need to stop him Josie.”

“Stop him?! Are you crazy? All it takes is one word from him to get us under his control. Then he’ll punish us and may force me to actually kill my sister!” I exclaim, feeling panic overwhelm me. I feel my airways close up and suddenly, I can’t breathe.

I can see him in front of me. I can feel his hands running over my body. I can feel his lips against my neck. I can smell his horrendous cologne that I secretly love.

“Breathe. Take deep breaths, get your heart rate under control,” someone says. I try to take deep breaths and relax. My vision clears up and I find myself looking into the worried eyes of Jessica.

“I’m sorry,” I rasp, sitting up from the floor. I don’t remember falling down. 

“Don’t be sorry. You never have to be sorry for what he did to you or made you do,” she comforts, squatting down to eyes level. 

“What just happened?” I asked. It felt like a severe PTSD attack.

“Probably a panic attack. I get them too.” She added the last part quietly, a hint of fear in her voice. This is his fault. He has destroyed my life and Jessica’s life. He destroys everything he touches.

I feel rage stir within me. He raped me. He controlled and manipulated me. He is a monster. How many other people has he affected in his life? How many lives has he destroyed? He needs to be stopped.

I stand up from my spot on the floor.

“How do you propose we stop him?” I ask, breaking the eerie silence that invaded the room.

“I’m going to kill him, for real this time,” she says, taking a large gulp of alcohol.

“For real?” I question, holding my hand out for the bottle.

“I tried to do it last October, but somehow he managed to survive. I felt his neck brake in my grip, yet somehow he is still alive,” she says, handing me the alcohol. I take a large swing, forgetting that I hate whisky. The burning liquid comforts me though. 

“How is he still alive?” Georgia asks, making me jump. I forgot that she was in the room.

“Don’t ask me. This time I’m going to cut off his damn head and burn his body,” Jessica replies.

“What’s your plan?”

“You won’t like it. I need you to seduce him. Then once he’s asleep, I’ll come in and kill him,” Jessica says.

“No. Hell no. I’m not getting anywhere near that monster again and you want me to willingly have sex with him?!” I yell. The small lamp stand on her desk bends in half and the lamp falls on the ground.

“Calm down Josie. Keep it under control,” Georgia cautiously advises, placing a hand on my shoulder. I take a deep breath and let it go slowly, listening to hear heat beat. 

“I hate him and what he’s done, but I’m not the one to stop him. You are. We’re leaving. I’ve made us both disappear once and I can do it again,” I resolve after a minute.

“I need you to stay. My relationship with my sister is gone. She killed my real mother and I can’t forgive her,” Jessica pleads. I finally understand what is happening. She’s lonely. She needs someone there with her in order for her to end him.

“I’m sorry about everything, but I’m not the right person. There must be someone else, anyone else,” I try. It’s directed more to myself then too anyone else in the room.

“It has to be us. No one else has the ability to stop him. Don’t you want to put an end to his bullshit?” She asks, snatching the bottle back from my hands. She’s right. It does have to be us. We both have powers and need to stop him for people who can’t protect themselves.

“Of course I do! But I’m not willingly having sex with him,” I reply.

“Fine. Any better ideas?” Jessica asks. “We need to be sure that he’s alone and won’t control anyone around him.”

“What if we just ambushed him. Can’t your friend help us again?” I ask.

“No he can’t. If Kilgrave got a hold of him, then he would become unstoppable,” Jessica says.

“He was already unstoppable with one of us. You remember what he made me do. I fought you and won because I was so desperate to go back and break every bone in both of my hands,” I reply. It sparked something in my memory. “Oh and I think I know how he survived. After I broke every bone in my hand, he took me to this guy, who healed me. It was like nothing ever happened.”

“You’re telling me he has a damn healer!?” She exclaims, plopping down in an old office chair behind her desk. “Everything makes more sense now.” She starts trying at a furious pace on her keyboard and turns the laptop to face me. “Is that him?” She asks, pointing to a figure on the screen.

I immediately recognize the man as the same one who healed me that day. He is a victim in all of this too. 

“Yea, that’s him,” I reply.

“Great. They just boarded a flight to New York, then I imagine they’re coming here,” she says. I shiver.

“I don’t know if I can face him again,” I quietly state. I don’t know if I can live under his control again. He destroyed me andmy life.

“You have to. We need to stop that asshole! I’m scared too. He used to not be able to control me, now he can,” she says. “I tried to save you and he took control of me again.”

“What should we do? We need a plan.”

“I have an idea,” Georgia says from behind me. “What if we just did a misdirection play, like in basketball. You get him to focus on River, then Jessica can come from behind him,” she finishes.

“That could work,” I say. “You could put on earphones so you can’t hear him even off he does catch us. Good idea G.”

“”I don’t like it, but we can try,” Jessica confirms. “We can meet him in the airport and take him down there.”

“When will he be here?”

“Early tomorrow morning. His flight lands at 4am,” Jessica informs us.

“What time is it now?” I ask, wishing once again that I had my phone.

“It’s about 2pm. So I guess we just have to wait,” Jessica says, leaning back in her chair and taking a large gulp of whiskey. My stomach suddenly growls. 

“Do you have anything to eat? I’m really hungry,” I awkwardly ask.

“Not really. Just grab something from a vender in the city,” Jessica replies, gesturing to the door. I have to go out there? Alone?

“Can I borrow your shoes?” I ask, pointing at a pair of boots near the door.

“Sure.”

I quickly put the boots on, but I hesitate at the door.

“I’ll go with you Josie,” Georgia says, standing up and opening the door for me. I nod at her, thanking her for knowing I can’t do this alone. We exit the apartment and walk to the end of the hallway, where we take the elevator down.

As soon as we’re outside, the noise around us starts to affect me. I hone in my hearing on Georgia, so that I won’t feel any pain. It’s weird that my time with Killgrave had helped me gain better control of my powers.

“How have you been G?” I ask, breaking our comfortable silence.

“I’ve been good. I’m happy you’re safe now,” she says. I am too. We walk to the nearest caffe and go inside, getting in line. Last time I was in a place like this, it got robbed and Killgrave found me.

“Oh wait. I don’t have any money,” I realize.

“You won’t need it. I’ll cover it,” says the man directly behind me in line.

“That’s very ni-“ In a flash of white, the man pulls out a gun not made of metal and pulls the trigger. There isn’t a loud bang, just a blinding pain in my arm. I step back, right into the arms of another person, then everything goes black.

When I wake up, I’m looking up at an unfamiliar ceiling again. I try to move, but discover that my wrists and ankles are strapped to the table that I’m on. Oh no. I know where I am.

“You’ve gone off your pills,” says Dr. Norton, from somewhere around me.

“I don’t need them anymore. A lot has happened since last time,” I reply.

“Oh yes, I know all about your little trip to Europe and the mutant who took you,” he says.

“Ho-“ Someone suddenly rushes over behind me and puts a gag in my mouth. I immediately know what he’s going to do. I shake my head and plead through the gag.

“Now that you’ve gained control over your powers, it’s time that we enhance them again,” he states matter of factory, coming into the light. I rapidly shake my head. The last time he did this to me, I was 16 years old.

I had just killed my father and was trying to figure everything else out when I was taken.

“Make a note for the record that this is subject 1896’s second dose of the serum,” he says.

“Hooooooo,” I scream through the gag, moving in by my bonds.

“Also note that I will give subject 1896 a dose of Metaxalone to help her relax.” He pulls up the sleeve of my shirt and cleans a patch of skin on my shoulder with a small wipe. Then, he injects me with the drug. I immediately start to feel tired and my muscles relax.

He unties me and I try to move, but my limbs feel like they are being weighed down to the table. He easily flips me into my stomach and reties me to the table.

“Try and relax River. This will hurt.”

I rest my cheek against the cool table, close my eyes, and do as I’m told. I feel his cold gloved hands lifting up my shirt to expose my back. I shiver and feel goosebumps form across my skin. Why can’t I just be left alone?

He cleans a small patch of skin above my spinal chord on my back with the cool cloth. I whimper as I hear him pick up the shot.

“I’m now going to proceed with the epidermal injection,” he says. I whimper as I first feel the 5 inch needle pierce my skin. Then, I start to scream as I feel it move in between my bones and rupture my spinal chord. Then he slowly injects me with the serum, causing my body to seize on the table. The pain is unimaginable as the serum feels like liquid fire burning the inside of my body.

I start to sob in between my screams and he finally pulls the needle out. I continue to sob as I feel myself being burned from the inside out. The pain spreads to my ears and I swear I feel blood start to drip out from my ears.

Norton pulls my shirt back down and starts to walk out of the room. I scream as I hear the sound of his feet hitting the ground. It sounds like a huge blast of thunder ripping it’s way through my head over and over again. As the door shuts I feel like my ears will fall of. Then, everything is silent.

I let out a final sob of relief as I realize the room they left me in is soundproof. It wasn’t soundproof last time and I ended up passing out from the pain. Why are they doing this to me?

I reach out with my power to control metal to see if I can feel any near by. I find that I can only expand it within the room. They must have put up some sort of barrier to block my powers. It’s kind of nice to just be in silence for once. Last time I was like this was when I ran away from Killgrave the first time.

The door opens and I wince at the loud squeak the hinges let out. I hear the persons heart beat elevate and their breathing spike. The beat sounds familiarand open my eyes to see who it is.

My blood runs cold as my eyes meet with a pair of dazzling brown ones and a purple suit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor River. Why can’t she just be left alone?


	21. Mine (Killgrave’s POV)

River looks awful. She is deathly pale and dripping with sweat. I take a step into the room and she screams. Is she afraid of me? 

No. I spot the blood dripping down on the table from her ears. They hurt her. NO one is allowed to hurt her. 

“It’s okay River, I’m here now. Just sleep.” 

“No,” her broken voice echoes through the room. No? Did she just disobey me? 

“Sleep,” I command, with a little more authority. How is this possible? 

“No!” She exclaimes. “No. You can’t control me... you can’t control me.” More tears stream down her face and she looks like she’s fading out of everything.i can’t tell if they’re tears of pain or tears of joy. Anyhow, this can’t be possible. No one can resist my control. I step fully into the room only for her start screaming again. 

“Bloody hell, shut up!” I yell, continuing to walk towards her. 

“It-it hurts!” She sobs through her screaming. I stop walking and her screaming ceases, but her eyes squeeze shut. I’m close enough to look down over her now. Her face is scrunched up in pain, so I know that it must be bad. She has an unusually high pain tolerance. 

I glance at the table above her head and read over the bottle labels. My eyes stop when I see a label that reads Propofol. My parents used it to put me to sleep when they experimented on me. It will work for now. 

I pick up the bottle and an empty syringe. I find the appropriate dosage on the label then fill the syringe. 

“Please. Just leave me alone,” she murmurs. Her beautiful blue eyes are looking directly at me. Her eye lids are puffy from crying, but I can’t help thinking that she looks amazing. She always looks perfect. 

“It’s okay. I’ll take care of you.” I gently push her head to the side, then inject the drug into her system. Her body goes limp and her eyes flicker close. 

I uncuff her wrists and ankles, then fold her arms across her stomach. Then, I pick her up bridal style and walk out of the room. I can’t help but think that I am the hero of her story, not the villain. I just saved her from these monsters. Why can’t she see that? 

The hallway outside is covered in blood and filled with bodies. Most of the guards had guns on them and I commanded them to shoot each other, then themselves. A small shaking form stands on the side. 

Her hand is broken from when I told her to get out of the hand cuffs that tied her to an old pipe. 

“Come along Georgia.” The girl follows behind me without a word. I have both sisters now. I never commanded her to stay quiet. 

“Please just leave her alone,” comes her meek voice from behind me. 

“I haven’t done anything to her. You should have seen her before she was taken from me, she loved me in return,” I reply, looking down at the beautiful woman in my arms. I’ve never felt this way about anyone before. 

“Well you should have seen her when she woke up free from your control. She didn’t know if I was real. She thought that you were in her head mucking things up like usual,” she coldly replies. 

“I’ve been nice to you, so I suggest you watch what you say. In fact, if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all,” I say, restraining myself. If River learns that I was cruel to her sister, she definitely won’t like me anymore. She’s so protective of her sister and hopefully she will be that protective of me one day. 

We are able to exit the building without a problem. The car I got for us is parked outside the building. I let River and Georgia have the back while I get in the front. 

“Josie, please wake up,” I hear Georgia plead from the back. Josie? Her name is River. 

“She won’t wake for a couple of hours,” I say. “Take us back to the hotel,” I command the driver. He starts mindlessly driving and I glance back at the sisters. 

River’s head is on Georgia’s shoulder, and she looks surprisingly small next to her sister. Georgia catches my eye and puts an arm protectively over River. Was she abused too? 

“Tell me the truth when I ask you questions. Were you abused by your foster father?” I ask. How could anyone hurt them like that? I never could understand how parents could treat their children like that. 

“No, only thanks to her. She protected me from him,” she quietly responds, dropping her glare to the floor. “Please don’t hurt her anymore,” she says more quietly. 

“I would never hurt her. I love her,” I reply. 

“It isn’t love when she doesn’t want it.” My blood runs cold. She wants it, I just have to bring it out of her. But is that love? 

“She does,” I say, hearing the uncertainty in my own voice. 

“You don’t sound sure.” 

“Just shut up. I don’t want to hear another word from you,” I snap. Maybe she’s right though. Does River want it? She truthfully said that she liked it, so she must want it even if she doesn’t know it. It’s a unconscious want. 

The rest of the car ride is silent and it feels like we’re in the car for hours when in reality it may have been half an hour. I grab River from the back seat and Georgia follows behind me into the hotel silently. 

After a couple of words to security, we take the elevator up to the pent house without an incident. I first lead Georgia into a spare bedroom and command her to sleep, then I go into the bedroom I chose for River and me. 

“Get in here Dad!” I yell. I didn’t have time to set up a place for him to stay, so I shut him in a spare room in the pent house. 

“What is it?” He asks, coming to the door in a rush. I hate him. 

“Figure our what they gave her and how to reverse it. She’s somehow immune to my influence now,” I say. 

“O-okay. I’m going to need some time,” he says, nervously fidgeting. 

“Of course you are. Just do it as quickly and as efficiently as possible. And tell me when you’re done.” I storm out of the room and leave him too it. If anyone can reverse it, it’s him. But what if he can’t fix it? No, I can’t think about that. He’ll do it. He’d better do it. 

I take a seat on the couch and turn on a football match to help pass the time. As the few day’s events catch up with me I feel my eye lids grow heavy. It’s been a while since I’ve slept and now that I have her, I easily fall asleep. 

“Son,” dad prods. I groan, cracking open an eye and checking the time on my phone. It’s a little past 3am. 

“What?” I tiredly yawn. 

“I’m finished,” he says. Oh. I stretch my limbs, then stand up. My neck feels stiff from the awkward position. He leads me into his room. 

“What did you find?” 

“The serum is a much more advanced version of mine targeted to specifically increase her powers using her DNA. It’s very clever really, but anyways, it’s impossible to reverse,” he says, causing me to frown. 

“But, I knew you would be mad, so I switched a couple of things in the serum to repress her powers,” he continues, grabbing a bottle of blue serum. 

“So it will take away her abilities?” 

“Only temporarily,” he says. I sigh, I guess it’s better than nothing. 

“How is she resisting my control?” I ask next. 

“There’s the interesting part. There’s nothing in the serum, so one of her abilities must be to shield from your powers,” he says. “That also helps explain why your powers didn’t work on her for the full time period too.”

“Will the serum make her susceptible to my control again?” I ask. 

“For a while. Her body will eventually overcome it, but it will keep her submissive for at least a month. Maybe more,” he estimates. I sigh and take the bottle. 

“Get some sleep,” I command. He nods in thanks and stumbles over to the bed before falling asleep. Checking the time, I realize that River will wake up soon. How will I give her the shot without her attempting to harm me?

Wait! I can get Georgia to do it. River would never hurt Georgia. It’s cruel, but it’s necessary. I grab a new syringe, fill it with the appropriate dosage, then go into Georgia’s room. 

“Wake up.” 

She opens her eyes and glares at me. She’s so similar to River. They don’t look anything alike, but their personalities are very similar. They’re probably not sisters by birth, but by choice and that bond is almost stronger than that of shared blood. 

“You will sit in River’s room and wait until she wakes up to inject all of this syringe into her arm. Now go,” I command. She stands up, grabs the syringe, and walks into River’s room. What will I do with her? She should be kept as an insurance policy if River gets out of hand or... maybe I should let her go. That’s what River would want me to do. 

I put the thought aside and sit on the couch again, waiting for her to wake up. I can believe Jessica would take her from me, but I can’t believe she would take River against own will. She wanted to be with me and Jessica took her anyways. 

“Killgrave! Where are you you piece of shit?!” yells River. I smile, despite her name calling. I missed her fiery spirit. 

“In here darling. No need to yell.” 

She stomps into the room a second later, looking almost identical to Jessica. 

“What did you force her to do? I feel different now,” she says. She looks beautiful, even after all she’s been through. I love her. 

“Sit down and we can talk about it,” I command. She sits cross legged on the carpet and I know she’s under my control again. She starts to tremor. 

“Why can’t you just leave me alone? I don’t want this,” she says, rubbing her ears. 

“You wanted it before.” 

“That was only because I thought my sister was dead,” she defends. 

“Only? Tell me the truth.” 

“I thought you were the only one in the world who loved me and I didn’t want to be alone,” she says. 

“I am the only one. Wait a minute, where’s Georgia?” I question. 

“I told her to run and she did. You’re not going to find her again.” River says. Bloody hell! There goes my insurance policy. I didn’t even think to command her not to escape because of the situation with River. 

“Tell the truth when I ask you questions. Will she go to Jessica?”

“Probably.” 

“Shite. We have to leave then. Barcelona is lovely this time of year. You’ll love it,” I say, standing up and smoothing out my suit. 

“I’ll love it,” she says, her expression completely changing from usual to saddened. My eyes roam over her small, dirty form. 

“We can’t go looking like this. Let’s shower.” She turns to go, but I gently grab her shoulder, causing her to stop and shudder. “I need to do something first. Kiss me like you love me,” I command. 

She turns around and brings her lips to mine, like she and so many others have done. Her kiss is different though. I’m  
the only one who has ever kissed her. I force myself to break the kiss. 

“Now we can go,” I say, grabbing her hand and thinking of the amazing shower sex we will have.


End file.
